Advice please, bit of an odd situation

ruth75

Hi, I wonder if anyone can offer me any advice? The situation is this - my husband and I separated in May '09. We have four children together aged 6,4,2 and 1 (I was pregnant with our daughter when we split up). He has a new partner, our children live with me and he pays me maintenance. We were planning on waiting until 2 years is up to divorce.

Anyway, last week he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It's not as bleak as it sounds, it is a very rare type of cancer and his prognosis is potentially good depending on how he responds to treatment. We've been told he could have a year, 5 years or even as long as 10 years, it all depends on the treatment, which has already started.

However, having four young children I'm very concerned for the future, financially. He has basic life insurance through his job but nothing else. He also has a fair bit of credit card and loan debt which is being paid through a dmp with payplan. We also still have a joint mortgage on the home in which I live, with the kids. I've been paying this since we split.

He has said we need to find out whether I will be better off staying married to him or not. I have no idea where to start really. Presumably he will make a will for his life insurance to make sure the children will be ok in the short term. His treatment is going to be fairly intense and will probably involve quite a bit of time off work. he has a private medical plan through his job which pays for stays in hospital but is unlikely to cover the amount of time he is going to need, so he may not be in a position to pay maintenance every month. I have a job myself and am looking at getting a second job, but not sure if I would be better off as my childcare costs would increase, and my tax credits *may* reduce due to an increase in earnings, so I could end up no better off iyswim?

Can anyone help? What do I need to consider?

TIA

jackieglasgow

I am so sorry to hear your news. Do you not have life insurance to cover the mortgage if one of you were to pass away? When we had a mortgage, one condition of the lenders was that we needed life insurance in place. This should be your priority to check on, you don't want to be left with no roof over your head. His life insurance through work should have an expression of wish attached, which he can complete in your favour whilst you are still married, to ensure if he passes that things are easier to sort out. I think you really need to be speaking to a lawyer and sorting out wills and so on. Its not nice to think about, but you also need to make sure you have your own life insurance, in case something happens to you, too. I am sure Macmillan can help with advice on finances and so on. You should also tink about the benefits you would receive as a widow and how they would help support your children, and how different this would be to your income as a divorced single parent. It sounds a bit mercenary, but if you have a roof to put over the children's heads, you need to consider that, too.

I hope his treatment buys him enough time to parent your children as long as possible and give them good memories of their father if no cure is ever forthcoming.

clearingout

I think a solicitor is going to be best placed to give you answers. My gut reaction to the situation is you're personally probably better off staying married. I assume both he and his new partner are 'happy' to do what is considered best for the children involved?

I am sorry you are having to go through this. It is so much to have to deal with as well as a young family, the loss of your husband in terms of separation and divorce and now this. I hope you have good support personally to help you come to terms with it all and give you space in which to vent. Take care of yourself in all of this - your children are going to need you.

RAS

You will "inherit" any joint property and debts, by default. Do you not have any life insurance on the mortgage?

richardw

RAS wrote: »

You will "inherit" any joint property and debts

or perhaps the estate will and then the beneficiaries of the will?

belfastgirl23

If you are still married when he dies you could receive a bereavement payment of £2k - see here http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Bereaved/DG_10018703

I think what matters is that you aren't living with someone else rather than whether he is living with someone else.

You might also find that he would have benefits coming from eg a personal pension at work or though his union - he would probably need to find out about this though. And I think you would have to be named as a beneficiary?

edited to say, would his work or union have a financial advisor you could both go and see? I think if you could find the right person they would be more help potentially than a solicitor