Hope you can help!!

cupcakewales

I am 45 and seperated from my husband in 95,I brought up our two children,My husband and I were on good terms and he had plenty of contact with the children.
We even kept the same friends and would often be seen out as we liked the same pubs and kept contact.
As the children grew up,my son turned 16 I decided to move out of the house,and for my husband to take over the role,him living with the children then,16 and 19,Adults i know but still at home.
I moved out and moved in with a friend while on a council list waiting for a flat,after 6 months it got too much as my friend said it was only tempary so I aske my husband If i could move back in and rent a room,by now I am diabetic and have sciatica and lots medical problems.
I have the back room down stairs as my bedroom and share living room and kitchen,my problem is that I am claiming as a single person,we have both decided it is now time to devorce,the problem is my solicitor wants to get on with putting the devorce through,but told me my husband and I need to sort out about the house,as in selling it or each other buying each other out!!!
It scares me as I will be making 4 people homeless,and the final devorce is going to cost £4000 pounds!!
So realy where do I stand I am stuck in a house wont be housed until the house is sold plus looks like I am putting myself in debt and losing people their home in these bad times.

Basicaly I dont think we can ever devorce,also she said unless we come to an agreement on the house we cant get devorced,I am happy devorcing getting my own flat and leaving the house to my children and my husband,I know it is a lot money to give up £70 grand,but as long as they all help me out get on my feet I am happy to walk away...

Looks like we will never be devorced or ever move on with our lives..:(

DX2

You seperated 16 years ago and are just getting round to getting divorced now wow! :eek:

hoggle_2

Why use a solicitor?? You can just apply to the courts and it will be much cheaper. You and your ex-husband to be then set all terms.

cte1111

If I were you, I would start from the premise that the house is going to be sold and you and your husband will receive half of the proceeds each. How much equity is there in the property? You then can look at what you can afford to buy or rent on your own.

I wouldn't look at this as making anyone homeless, you and your husband will both be looking to buy or rent flats or houses separately and then your children can work out which of you it is best to live with.

Are you working?

McKneff

These days you can get a divorce for a few hundred pounds and you certainly dont need the services of a solicitor.

Try googling DIY Divorce.

Hope things go well for you.

Pinkruth

If you are claiming benefit then you may get help with the cost of the divorce through Legal Aid. I understand fully your concerns about the house, but either you want to move on or you don't. As you have said yourself you children are young adults and probably have their own lives now. 16 years is a long time to wait to get divorced. I think you need to put the house on the market and split the equity between you if neither of you can afford to buy the other out. Im sorry if it sounds a little harsh, but to fully move on you may find this would be the only way.

Good Luck.

melbi_uk

Could you not rent a house or flat privately?

nannytone_2

DX2 wrote: »

You seperated 16 years ago and are just getting round to getting divorced now wow! :eek:

i can beat that! i seperated from my husband in 1990 and we're still married lol

in the beginning he didn't want a divorce as he got himself a new girlfriend who was after him marrying her. it was easier for him to say he couldnt marry her as he was already married, than to sy he didn't want to marry her.
but once I met my partner, i would need to pay for a divorce and he didn't want to paay half. so now he can pay for the whole thing if he wants a divorce!

Oldernotwiser

It's unfair for you to turn down £70,000 that is rightfully yours and could be used to provide a home for you and expect to be housed by the council.

In addition, you don't mention working so, if you were needing to claim means tested benefits like housing benefit, you would be assessed as if you still had the money anyway.

It sounds as if you both need to make a fresh start in new homes.

cupcakewales

Thanks for all your comments,also I did not know we could do the devorce ourselves,wow,:) Thinking about it now after reading all your comments,I think we stuck in a rutt,we both not sure what to do so we just live day to day as we are,If truth told I feel safe in the house it is where I brought the children up it is full of memories.

Yes I could rent privatly,but that is not what I want,just incase we get settled and then given notice to move out!
I know it is a lot of money to give up I agree but my plan was to let them have the house then my husband could,pay me so much back a year money I would need.

As for working yes I did work in a Hotel Chamber Maid,Loved the job but finnished 4 years ago through ill health,Diabetes then I lost feeling in some of my toes now my hands have Carpol Tunnel,very bad,Also I have lots of other medical conditions,waiting for opperation on my knees.

So I am also in ill health now too,While I am here I feel safe,but I realy do need to move on so does my husband,we both know its time for both to move on but he just goes with the flow and dont push me as it has become the norm now,and maybe we would have devorced earlier,but we staid great friends,we lived our seperate lives,but I vowed never ever what ever happened,we would never upset the kids,no in and out courts fighting over them,we even made sure every christmas we all had christmas day together..

Maybe it is time to put the house on the Market,that is the hardest thing to do but we own this and renting is dead end money,we only have 9 years left on the house.

Very difficult situation,Thank you all for your responses xx