Hello from the haddock

Smoked_Haddock

guess sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards

LilacPixie

sometimes you need perspective.. I am guessing more assignments means less family time.. do you NEED to take them or do you feel you should to maintain a certain standard of luxury living??

how about you go back to basics.. what in your life actually costs you money??? is there any savings to be had?? Silly things like could you car share or work from home sometimes, is it possible to work 4 10 hour days rather than 5 8 hour days so saving 20 miles of commute a week

Smoked_Haddock

thanks for your patience and advice so far. I have been thinking a bit.

Here is something from Stephen Covey. Imagine a working gang cutting a road through dense tropical forest. There are many, many guys thrashing with machetes, geting hot and sweaty and bitten, clearing the way (in my mind, that is the same as coming up with an SOA and buying one less cappucino). There are a few guys supplying them with sharp blades and working out their pay, working out how to organise the whole thing (in my mind, that is like switching to an offset mortgage and putting £10400 in a stocks and shares ISA). And there is one guy who has climbed to the top of the highest tree, and can see where the road needs to go. "you are going in the wrong direction" he shouts. "wrong forest". That is where I want to be first. I want to understand the goals, the big picture, the needs wants and dreams, and then make their finances work towards that.

I'm coming around to thinking that I don't need to pay my mortgage off just yet. That is not the main thing. Maybe this isn't the right place for me to post? First of all, I need to work out where I'm going in life. After all, owning a house is a zero sum game. You are born without one, and you don't take one with you when you die. You can rent a house or you can rent £433k to buy a house... end of the day, the detail is just detail

I'll post a bit more if these ramblings are of any interest to anybody at all. But an SOA is some way off.

ladylouise62

It sounds like you are getting too wrapped up in the size of the debt. £400k of debt in ordinary loans is a big issue, but as a mortgage, it's only an issue if you cannot service it. What you need to feel is 'in control', so take a look at all your possibilities, and if you make little changes, the big ones will come more easily as you feel more confident.
Without knowing more details it's hard to make suggestions, but 2 that come immediately to are, firstly, to lose one car (I assume that the 2 of you will go the same route (or close) for a long part of the way, then one of you could finish by using a foldup bike). My brother used to cycle 6 miles to school everyday and it kept him fit! It may be more inconvenient, but is it do-able for a few years?
The second is to consider making some money out of your work premises - could it be used by someone else when you are not there (think out of the box - for instance, who'd have thought that I could make a few pounds from shoppers/footie fans by renting out my driveway !)?

The main thing is to realise that if you want to make big steps forward you may need to make sacrifices for a year or two.. but remember that it's just temporary.

Smoked_Haddock

ladylouise62 wrote: »

It sounds like you are getting too wrapped up in the size of the debt. £400k of debt in ordinary loans is a big issue, but as a mortgage, it's only an issue if you cannot service it. What you need to feel is 'in control', so take a look at all your possibilities, and if you make little changes, the big ones will come more easily as you feel more confident.

The main thing is to realise that if you want to make big steps forward you may need to make sacrifices for a year or two.. but remember that it's just temporary.

Really sound advice, makes a lot of sense thanks

Going back to when we bought this house, we expected our incomes to increase & inflation to increase the value of all asset classes. Hasn't really happened yet but it might at some point

It's nice to have but we don't really need this big house. When the kids have left home - or at anytime really - we could downsize. So we don't need to pay off the mortgage perhaps? Although shrinking it would be a fine thing

getmore4less

I'll post a bit more if these ramblings are of any interest to anybody at all. But an SOA is some way off.

Why? a SOA is the basic foundation for a budget.

Ok it is nice to have the budget based on goals but without those reality is a very good start.

At least with the current reality in a SOA you know if you are actualy ballancing today.

You can then start adding the goals as you work out what they are and adjusting the busget to see the impact.

Without the current SOA you have no idea what might be even possible for the goals.

Pennypincher2

Hello Smoked Haddock,
I think you are in the right place. If you are able to pay everything at the moment with the advice you get here and some quality of life changes i.e. home cooked meals, planning, planning family adventures instead of throwing money at big holidays and taking what time you have to appreciate what you have and who you have you will make small in roads into sorting it out. Also you have debt that matches your income it doesn't matter if you only owe £2,000 if you have a small income it is still a tie that binds. I am no expert as I haven't over paid a penny this year yet so am very quiet on these boards at the moment but I think you sound like you have had a eureka moment now get out of the uncomfortable place and start making a more simple less expensive future for yourself in this lovely house with your lovely family.
PP (x)

mummalove

Hello Smoked Haddock.

Everyone's circumstances are different and unique on this board. You are in the right place and there are some truly wonderful people on here that can offer good, honest, informative advice and support.

Remember, it is completely anonymous and no-one is here to judge you. A SOA will help members gain a true perspective of your income and outgoings and you may be surprised what you could do to alter this.

I think you genuinely sound overwhelmed and confused on your path ahead. This is your first step and by discussing any thoughts you have, this alone will probably help with erasing those 2am moments.

Good luck, ML.

:money:

Smoked_Haddock

Thankyou for the replies and advice.

deleted....

There is no-one in our lives we can share this with.

Smoked_Haddock

OMG just reat that back, I sound like a spoilt brat. Am going to let it hang for now but am tempted to kill the whole thread