Hello from the haddock

Smoked_Haddock

Hi, here's my story. I am older than 30 but not yet 40. I have a great house, family, job, lifestyle... and a great big mortgage. I want to keep the family and the job but am not so hot on the mortgage. The lifestyle and house are negotiable.

I am a little nervous about going any further...

Smoked_Haddock

I owe a lot of money. All told I have debts of £633,656. Pass me a stiff drink. Please.

The numbers focus the mind somewhat- often at around 2 in the morning. I had a hand full of aces but played them out of turn. As things stand, I can service the debts and the assets against which they are held are worth something, but not enough to prevent late night spreadsheet escapades. In an ideal world I'd be sleeping like a baby.

lincoln-potter

Hello SH and welcome to MSE.

Your opening posts though have a few holes in them which need filling in order for us to be able to even fully appreciate your situation.

Firstly your debts, can you split them down into categories? or is that purely just a mortgage debt?
In order to look at your lifestyle costs you will need to post a SOA.

Smoked_Haddock

Thanks LP. Working up courage to post an SOA in its full horror but am not sure how it will be received - would expect a bit of flak. I'm also not sure if the mortgage-free thread is the right place for this. Being mortgage free would be nice, but it is more a sense of regaining control and direction that I seek & ultimately being mortgage free would be part of this.

A few years ago we stretched ourselves to the max in buying a really big house. Our mortgage on this is our biggest debt but I also own the premises I work from and have a mortgage on these too. I recognise we probably need to change things around in our life. I might work up courage to fill in the detail, but don't feel particularly comfortable even painting the big picture in very soft focus like this...

Actually, yes, it is more about changing things around in life than being mortgage free, is there a thread for that?

dimbo61

Make sure the buisness is making money and have a look at all your spending every single penny!!!
I have never owed so much money to the banks but if you can afford to service your debts from income then people on here can help you repay it even faster and if not give you advice/opinions on how to reduce/cutback or refinance.
Good Luck

dimbo61

PS by friend owes 5X that amount and the bank want to lend him even more!!

katsu

Look at Hypno's diary in the debt free diaries under debt free wannabees. She cleared over 100k of non-mortgage debt.

You could take a look at some of the DFW advice.

I'd split out business assets from personal ones - is the business covering it's costs and giving you a suitable salary to live off?

*Jellie*

I would definitely recommend checking out the DFW board. I wanted to get debt free and then become mortgage free so I spent a lot of time over there before I succeeded and ended up having a diary over here!
There are other people here trying to pay off both mortgage and debts- I guess it depends which is your main focus at the moment. It also depends on your situation as to what is best for you!

Courgette

Hi Smoked Haddock and welcome

Just to say that we're all lovely here and you won't get any flak for posting your SOA. The worst we'll say is you're on the wrong board and direct you to dfw. From experience I always think the best way to stop those 2am wake-ups is to address what's causing the worry and come up with a plan.

Good luck with your journey

getmore4less

Getting the SOA together is the first step.

I would keep the personal and business seperate

Everyone has different views and priorities so there is a fine line between constructive comment and flak.

It is often a good idea to consider the extreme options

End of the day you decide what changes if any you make.

Smoked_Haddock

Guys, thanks. The advice is appreciated.

Focusing purely on personal debt, it is £433k. That's the mortgage, there is nothing else, no cards, no car loans etc.

Our problem, 3 years ago we bought into a lifestyle we thought we wanted - but now I suspect that we bought the wrong thing at the wrong time, we were just plain wrong. Not sure what to do to salvage the situation.

Here is a list what I feel is important in life:

having time and space for the family
doing a job because it is worth doing, not because it pays the rent
spending time by the sea
community
listening to and writing music
caring for our world
people
easing the pain of those in need
thinking
reading
plants and flowers
health
understanding the viewpoints of others

I felt like that 3 years ago too, but I thought we could buy a great house for the family "on the tab" and still focus on the other stuff. We'd pay it off eventually while concentrating on the other stuff. But this huge, lovely, unique house seems to have muscled in on all the delicate things that matter. It owns us. I should have seen this from the outset.

One problem is that we are in the countryside 10 miles from the city where we work. We both work full time. That's 40 miles of traveling, 5 days a week to start off with. Then the kids need taking to things in the evening, at the weekend, all the time. This eats into our time and requires us to run two reliable cars.

The other problem is that our large mortgage makes me want to take on more assignments, to write more, to spend the evenings and weekends promoting our second business. But not in a good way, just to make money to fund our life. Which is back to front.

As I write these words, I see that being mortgage free is not the solution, but it may be part of the solution...