do any dads who have got remarried or with new

Deals_2

partner feel guilty towards their kids from previous marriage?

and how did you overcome it etc?

delain

I know my OH feels bad he doesn't see his DD enough.

He does try to blame me for this sometimes if he hasn't got the fuel money (which if I've got enough and he says he'd like to go I'd give him like a shot!) or if I he thinks I seem indifferent to it.

He always wants me to go when he goes to see her - He's given me a reason why but IMO not a good one - and if I'm quite honest I don't always want to go and make small talk with her mum and new bf (don't get me wrong I like them and it's all very friendly) when it's an hour drive each way, it takes all day and later he'll be moaning that this or that isn't done and I can't just say well I'd like to have stayed home and got it done or just had some time on my own but then you'd have got all narky.

And then I tell him to ring her now and again, I'll remind him, his ex will tell me if his DD wants to hear from him or she'll text him herself - and he doesn't do it. So I find his logic that it's me a little skewed lol.

DSD is a nice kid though, sometimes she comes and stays weekends as she gets on well with my older 3 and now they all have a baby sister to coo over :rotfl:

Broken_hearted

All you can do is be as amicable as possible, call when you are supposed to, see the children when you arrange to. Try to be on speaking terms with the child/rens mother. Remember your new partner is nothing to do with it, they should not butt in or make demands regarding the children.

clearingout

if the relationship broke down and you're a) seeing the kids when you can; b) trying to be amicable with the ex in front of the kids; c) paying your way in terms of child maintenance and any extras such as school trips or holidays, what have you got to feel guilty about? Guilt should only come into it if you deliberately mess mum around, don't turn up when you should, don't pay maintenance, don't call when you say you're going to etc. etc. etc. Kids adapt, whatever their age. What they don't do easily, however, is forget! So be consistent and that is what they'll remember and appreciate. Even if they only get to see you once in a blue moon, assuming you stick to what you said you would, that once in a blue moon counts. It doesn't count if you tell them you'll see them on Sunday and then disappear for three years!

pigpen

clearingout wrote: »

if the relationship broke down and you're a) seeing the kids when you can; b) trying to be amicable with the ex in front of the kids; c) paying your way in terms of child maintenance and any extras such as school trips or holidays, what have you got to feel guilty about? Guilt should only come into it if you deliberately mess mum around, don't turn up when you should, don't pay maintenance, don't call when you say you're going to etc. etc. etc. Kids adapt, whatever their age. What they don't do easily, however, is forget! So be consistent and that is what they'll remember and appreciate. Even if they only get to see you once in a blue moon, assuming you stick to what you said you would, that once in a blue moon counts. It doesn't count if you tell them you'll see them on Sunday and then disappear for three years!

I want you to email this to my ex.

I have cried endless times because he hasn't done as he'd arranged, had let the children down, slated me something chronic TO the children, told them I'd no longer want them when I had the baby , he ignored DD2 for a whole weekend.. now, as much as I think he is a sleazbag I don't want the children to hate him or resent him but he is doing that himself.

It is so sad.

I don't ask a lot, a small contribution to stuff like DD1's prom (promised and not received) a little towards residential trips with school/church etc.. heck, a bit of maintenance money would be nice to provide these things wthout having to demean myself asking for a contribution.

And a civil tongue in his head when speaking to me.

If those things are done life is amicable and peaceful for all noone should feel any guilt.

My friends partner does a 14 hour round trip every school holidays to pick up his 2 sons... and again to take them home..

runninglea

Yes I feel guilty got twins with new partner and son and daughter with previous.

Make sure you try to find time to just take them out but also need to ensure that all children have contact with each other so they get on.

You also need to have a good partner who understands how important it is to remain in the childrens lives.