I Made Some Mistakes And Want To Move On

sometimesconfused!

I have been reading through alot of these threads and have finally plucked up some (if only a little) courage to ask for some advice.

Some years ago when I was 18 (am now 34) I ran up both a overdraft and credit card with Natwest, I many a time exceeded my overdraft but then brought it down to the limit of £200 credit card I don't know but maybe stood at £1200. I don't want to give to much of myself away but at the time was in a bad relationship, so ran away and started my life anew........ So here I find myself at 34 scared I don't even have a bank account! Am now happily married with more children, no joint bank account, no joint mortgage, no nothing for me as I am scared sh*****ss! Have never spoken to my husband about this have always said to him best to keep things in his name as he is the one who earns the money, both child benefit and tax credits go into his account.
I would like now something for me, I would like a passport. a bank account so that we as a family could go on holiday but I am scared.
I have in the past also done a very, very, very silly thing when 10years ago I took a job I got a letter of sponsership from my employer to open an account - I lied about my date of birth, stupid I know when I moved to my present house (left the company) I did a change of address but have since left that account dormant which they since written and told me (is in credit £6!).
I was always worried that my ex would find me and please beleive me this was never about evading the debts.
Would it be a good idea to check my credit rating? what advice would you give? am open to suggestions and will answer questions honestly x:(

[Deleted User]

Hi,

Don't check your credit rating (by this I mean credit score -this is meaningless, as each company that you apply for credit from will apply their own scoring system)

But do check your credit reports at the three credit reference agencies (Experien, Callcredit and Equifax). If there is anything for you to worry about debtwise it should be updated there.

If your debt is over 6 years old (5 years in Scotland) it will be unenforceable and will not show on your credit report. They'll only show there if there was a CCJ issued.

Check out Martin's guide on credit reports from the main site: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/credit-rating-credit-score

HTH

D9

sometimesconfused!

I am such an idiot! so unsavvy am now signed up with credit expert (i think cos gave husbands debit card details and can't see how to cancel) think one should just go back to her none less, already I give up.x

[Deleted User]

just give them a call and cancel, or they will continue to charge you each month if it was the free trial you signed upto

sometimesconfused!

It was the free trial, but now have to wait for the pin that they send : ( my husband has his thing set up through capital one and was instant and that is what I thought would happen, feel such fool! try to take step forward should think I should of stayed hidden. x

ellesbellesxxx

Don't worry - with data protection your ex would have a hard time finding youxx

rhianna99

Hi, please dont give up, dont let this man ruin the rest of your life. You may find that there is nothing at all left on your credit report, as it was so long ago, you might be pleasantly surprised when you see it. You may have trouble getting bank accounts or credit cards at first because you will have no history, you can start with a sub prime credit card, paying it off in full each month, and this will allow you to slowly build up a history. Theres no reason why you cant have a passport, this is in no way linked to your credit file, and I honestly cant see how your ex could find you from you having a passport, or having any kind of credit. Once you have your new address on your credit file, you MAY start getting letters from debt collection angencies wanting money, but unless you have a ccj for those debts, they are statute barred, and you may not have to pay them. Even if you do get a bit of hassel from these agencies, wont it be worth it? you need to enjoy your new life with your husband and children, and not hide yourself away. I had an abusive relationship myself and had to take the children and leave, he has never found me, and I dont have to hide. I am on the electoral register but not the public register, and my phone is ex directory, im not on facebook etc, these are the only precautions I take and apart from that I live a completely normal life. Dont let him still have a hold on you, you owe it to yourself and your children, to be happy, get out there and build yourself a life, and try and forget about your past, easier said than done, I know. All the best.

dancingfairy

I would check out Martins article as per the link in post number 2. It should be possible to get a basic bank account with someone like the Co-op or Barclays, also perhaps a subprime credit card and pay it off in full to build up your credit rating.
Getting a passport should be o.k once you have ID - I guess getting ID is going to be the hardest part. Do you have a birth certificate as this will help?
df

barbiedoll

To be honest, after 16 years of leaving these debts behind, I doubt very much that any of them are still hanging around, unless they issued any CCJ's for them. I know there is a register online where you can find out if there are any CCJ's in your name, I think that it is here...

http://www.trustonline.org.uk/search-yourself/

Your biggest hurdle in becoming "legitimate" and getting a bank account is the fact that you have very little credit history. You shouldn't have too much of a problem getting a basic bank account, you will probably need to take in your birth certificate and possibly your marriage certificate too, just as more proof of who you are. If you have a driving license, take that too.

Don't be too hard on yourself, there's no reason why you can't get a passport, having old debts doesn't stop anyone going on holiday! And maybe speak to your husband about your worries? I'm sure that he won't judge you, if you ask for his help with this, it will make it a little easier to deal with. (Don't fret about the "dormant" account, just ignore the letters and David Cameron will soon be along to take the £6 to spend on his Big Society or whatever, I heard that they are going to use the money in dormant accounts to fund something or other so that will soon be gone!)

I'm sure that your ex won't be able to find you now that you are married and have changed your name and address. Don't let him mess up the rest of your life, he isn't worth that. Take that little bit of courage and use it wisely. And get the child benefit and tax credits paid into your account and you can start getting a feel of what it's like to handle money and run an account. While you're at it, start a savings account for your holiday too!
Good luck, do come back here if you need any more advice or encouragement. :T

sometimesconfused!

Thank you to all the replies received, thank you all for taking the time to read. x

I guess for me the next step is to see what is on my credit report with the comments and some research seems that perhaps I have overly worried about the ex but this will take sometime before I am fully comfortable think my fear will stay with me for many years to come. Rhianna99 I take those precautions also but maybe I step them up a notch too (maybe too much!) as sad as it maybe I cried a little at your last bit I do owe to myself and to my children but believing it still is hard. Barbiedoll I have a fab and wonderful husband but I could never burden him with all my insecurities, god I have given him so much grief because of this in the past!

I took a really suprising step today in light of my post where I shared with a friend of mine all of this she was really fab, and turns out unbeknown to me that she is on a DMP and her husband was made bankrupt last year she hasn't told anyone, it kind of made me feel that I will be okay with this. The hurdle I need to get over is the ex finding out and through these posts and her comments maybe not as likely as I thought.

When I am able to view my credit report and natwest shows I will be honest and sort it and pay it as that debt is mine, and I have been hiding I guess a tad bit too long, time to face my past!

as a p.s how would I know about a CCJ, I haven't gone to court and likewise would never of known if I had been summoned x

Thank you all for taking the time to read xxx

p.p.s just reread and understood what barbiedoll meant - sorry

sometimesconfused!

Just wanted to update all that have taken the time to read and post their comments. x

This morning I received my pin number from credit expert, cup of tea in hand I bit the bullet and logged on, felt so nervous and scared hands were shaking as I typed in the PIN!

And OMG there is nothing there, nothing at all, two previous searches as carried out when applying for the report, I am on the electoral roll (knew that though!) No financial links, no public record information, nothing under GAIN.

Nothing at all! And I have spent all these years worrying, feeling scared and with no financial independance, I feel right now free from the burdens of my past. From today I will move forward and put all the sh**e from my past to rest.

Am going to pick up passport application forms today, and if I have time (before the school run) am going to go and find out what I will need to open a basic bank account, safe in the knowledge that I don't have to hide anymore.

Thank you to everyone on here, without reading through some of your posts I would never of had the courage to even begin this, and big thanks to all that read and I thank all that took the time to reply with genuine gratitude as you helped to give me the strength to do this. Thank you all xxx

I will let you know how I get on with my next steps xxx