Am i the only one who gets everything ruined!

louise3965

Wow some of you sound completely over the top (red, amber, green areas for example).

As for the OP, clear your stuff away properly and teach your kids that every action has a consequence - some good, some bad. You wont go far wrong then.

*Louise*

One thing I have learned from having 3 children is if I don't want something broken, or its's important to me...then I am responsible for putting it away safely.

If I had big sheets of card, then they would have been slid under my bed or in my wardrobe. My makeup is on top of a cupboard in the kitchen and the kids know if they play with something they shouldn't then there will be trouble. We have reward charts fr the younger ones so points are taken off there. Toys have been known to go into the loft if they don't get tidied (usually my 5yo and his lego is the main culprit for that lol)

OP - sounds like you need somewhere that is your personal space and a no-go area for everyone else, kids just don't think about things sometimes, it's not like it was done deliberately (that's a whole different problem). I hope since you first posted your OH is more onside and helping out

Kaz2904

Pigpen, you're a legend!
My DS is banned from the wii for 2 weeks (starting yesterday) because I found all the wiimotes scattered around the lounge AGAIN and am sick to death of hearing myself saying to pick them up and put them away. So this morning, I came downstairs and he's playing on it. He's now earned another 2 week ban. The child is obsessed by the flaming white box- GAH!
Anyway, he has a wooden toy that he wants to put together so I've said that we'll do it later once his bedroom's tidy. He is very lazy and won't do anything without me standing over him going on and on. I've told him what he needs to do and he's refused to do it. So I have used Pigpens method of grounding. He was taken out to the downstairs loo and sat in there. It took him a good 20 minutes before he got the message- I felt really bad for him because twice he got 4 minutes in and then spoke to me . It worked though. 5 minutes in total silence. He still argued about doing his bedroom but he's gone up to do it.
He's brought down all of his paper drawings and things and put them in the recycling. He's told me as he was doing it that he's getting rid of his homework too. I explained that if he wanted to do that, he would probably get into troule and he would be the only one who hadn't done it but if he ws happy to do that then fine by me. He's got a terrible habit of punishing himself. Like when I first stuck him in the loo, "That's it, I'm never going to live here anymore". It's very hard when he punishes himself like this, it's all done to punish me and I'm fed up of it.

welshmoneylover

Why don't you put your stuff in your bedroom out of their way?

You need to be more proactive and responsible for looking after your own things rather than blame everyone else.

Mojisola

welshmoneylover wrote: »

Why don't you put your stuff in your bedroom out of their way?

You need to be more proactive and responsible for looking after your own things rather than blame everyone else.

This may be part of the solution but I don't think the children are being done any favours if they are allowed to trash anything that is left out. They should have enough respect for all the stuff around the house not to randomly damage it.

consultant31

cookie54 wrote: »

hi if the children dont clear up the toys take away the toys that are unsafe for the little one and then leave the rest out and dont clear them away and if oh trips over them so be it .

I don't think this would work, most children wouldn't care if their toys were left out - just makes them easier to play with next day :rotfl:

I used the bin bag thing on my DD2 who was a demon for leaving her dirty clothes scattered all over the place when she was about 14. When her favourite jeans went missing she was truly shocked when I told her they'd been binned because she'd left them on the floor again. I kept them in the loft till she changed her ways.....thank goodness they still fitted when she got them back, lol.

brians_daughter

louise3965 wrote: »

Wow some of you sound completely over the top (red, amber, green areas for example).

i dont see it as OTT.. after all, who would let a 2 year old play in a kitchen or bathroom unattended. or is it just me that fears they may cut themselves, burn themselves, flood the bathroom or worse? Hence these areas being red areas, far easier (IMO) for a 2 year old to understand than just saying they arent allowed in that room

In our home its a simple (very effective) way of getting children to understand from a very early age where they can and cant go without permission and where is and isnt safe in the home...with that come the benefits of being able to have child friendly zones where my oh and i know that we cant leave things such as scissors etc and a way for the children to be completely at ease by knowing what is in that room is their to paly with without worrying about damaging something that belongs to someone else.

p_joker

I know how you feel, I have an almost 2 year old who is a bit of a monster, my other son was good as gold at his age but this one gets hold of everything and brakes it, my dad bought my eldest a drum set one christmas with rattles etc in it, I get it out for my youngest and he stands on the drum and puts the top through, he draws on walls, he rips up pictures my son brings home form nursery. Even as a baby he would take the tv mag or a news paper and rip it up b4 i could look at it lol

Margaret52129

My DGS1 is 2 and knows about the naughty step already. My DD and family live in a small house so tidyness is a must for them. DGS knows he has to tidy up at end of night and if he's missused a toy then it's taken off him and put on top of the bookshelf (or other tall unreachable place) till the misdemeanor has been forgotten and then it's brought back into play.

I've been asked to do this when he visits me too as it is just as important that he knows his behaviour has to be the same at someone else's home and not just his own.

But if my DD or her OH leaves something out and it get's damaged by him, they will explain that it was wrong, but they also know it was their own fault for leaving it around in the first place if they didnt want him to get hold of it.

Children need to know what's right and what's wrong and it's up to the parents to tell them - they don't automatically know.

My DD's were very different, When DD1 was born I was very safety concious (sp) and moved everything out of reach so no chance of any accidents etc, but she never ever touched anything that she shouldn't, was really tidy herself, and looked after everything very well. BUT when DD2 came along, I was just astounded at how very different childen were - things were moved, broken, drawn on etc by DD2. We had many tearful days till she understood properly what she should/shouldn't do. In fact I would go as far as to say that now she's a mum herself she understands exactly what I went through with her and is starting to teach DGS what is and is not acceptable!

You have to be strong to put them on the naughty step/chair and continue to be firm, but loving, as it is for everyone's benefit that the child, and parent, knows exactly why they are there.

Good luck in getting your childen back under control!

pigpen

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Pigpen, you're a legend!
My DS is banned from the wii for 2 weeks (starting yesterday) because I found all the wiimotes scattered around the lounge AGAIN and am sick to death of hearing myself saying to pick them up and put them away. So this morning, I came downstairs and he's playing on it. He's now earned another 2 week ban. The child is obsessed by the flaming white box- GAH!
Anyway, he has a wooden toy that he wants to put together so I've said that we'll do it later once his bedroom's tidy. He is very lazy and won't do anything without me standing over him going on and on. I've told him what he needs to do and he's refused to do it. So I have used Pigpens method of grounding. He was taken out to the downstairs loo and sat in there. It took him a good 20 minutes before he got the message- I felt really bad for him because twice he got 4 minutes in and then spoke to me . It worked though. 5 minutes in total silence. He still argued about doing his bedroom but he's gone up to do it.
He's brought down all of his paper drawings and things and put them in the recycling. He's told me as he was doing it that he's getting rid of his homework too. I explained that if he wanted to do that, he would probably get into troule and he would be the only one who hadn't done it but if he ws happy to do that then fine by me. He's got a terrible habit of punishing himself. Like when I first stuck him in the loo, "That's it, I'm never going to live here anymore". It's very hard when he punishes himself like this, it's all done to punish me and I'm fed up of it.

Take all the controllers and put in your underwear drawer.. he will not look in there lol..

Console bans work wonders in here with DS2 (15) DS3 (12 on friday) and DD3 (10) ..

DS2 does the 'wish I was never born' thing and the 'I'm going to school and never coming back' .. I ask for a forwarding address to send all their crap to lol

I find it really hard to make them sit there and say and do nothing for 5 minutes..