Some advice please - we just keep arguing!

jadal

Danni - R - actually on reflection , we are not always arguing - because my husband usually just walks off shaking his head whenever I try to talk to him about it. Its more of a case of a bad atmosphere which you are right, they probably do pick up on! That's why I have started to contemplate this course of acion - because I want to have a happier present for them.

jadal

Tixy - I have added it all up over a month and I have told him but again, he agrees I am right and then next month does it all over again!. I have tried giving him a monthly allowance, he spent it all in one week and then used the account for the rest of the month. I ask him to limit himself to wine only at the weekends because we can afford that - he says yes. he then has a bad day at work and comes home with two bottles of wine. He has a good day at work and comes home with a bottle of wine to celebrate!!

I see what you mean Tixy about waiting the 15 months - I hadn't considered that. I had just thought clearing them off as quickly qs possible. Yes I could do that and who knows maybe he might earn a bonus next year and I won't have to use them at all.

MrsPorridge

What a terrible decision to make.

I think you have to decide what you were using the CCs for in the first place and if you do clear them will you build them up again?

As others have suggested maybe if you jcould post your SOA - someone has given the link earlier I'm not sure how to do that - then maybe we can take a look and see if somehow you can trim your budget.

I'm sorry if I sound a bit negative, but as someone who has used consolidation at least 3 times in my life to clear CCs and has then built them up again I am anxious that others don't do the same (see my siggy). I have ended up with loans and CCs now. I know you aren't considering a loan in the true sense of the word.

jadal

MrsPorridge - I am pretty certain that if we clear up the debts we will not get into any more. We would have enough disposable income to live on and should not need to resort to them. What worries me is would we save up enough? I know that I have the resolve not to overspend, I am not so sure about my husband.

The debts we have are down to a holiday we booked before our income took a plunge. We used to book a holiday on the card and then pay it off in one big chunk when the bonus came - we didn't forsee the downturn in his company's fortune nfortunately and haven't been able to do it this time. Some of it has been due to the time it took us to readjust to the lower income.

So, I am almost certain we would not run up debt but I am not as confident that the surplus will be in the account at the end of each month to stick in savings.

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi,

I wouldnt hesitate to use the money to clear the debts and then save again if it reduced the interest you are paying and got you on more of an even keel.

As for your OH, I sympathise. Mine tends to stick his head in the sand about financial stuff and after 20 years I have realised he is not going to change. He is a wonderful in all other ways so I guess I just have to live with it.

LittleMoog

Move the money to savings on payday so it isn't there to be frittered away! Even if it's only an instant access account and then transfer to the "proper" savings at the end of the month, it stops it being available for random spending, but it's available if you have a real need for it (assuming the proper savings aren't instant access, or apply a penalty for withdrawals etc).
Also, would suggest that going to Majestic or similar and stocking up on wine a bit cheaper than going to supermarket almost every day. Healthwise, that's also quite a lot of wine

serious_saver

Use the money to clear off your debts and once you've done this start a new savings account from scratch for your children.

My parents had a similar problem and used the money that they had saved for us to go to university in order to finish an extension that was bodged by cowboy builders who stole their money. There are three of us (all in our twenties) and none of us begrudge my parents for doing what needed to be done.

What's most important is that you provide a safe and secure life for them today. ultimately the interest on your debts are going to cost more than you will be getting in interest on the savings for you children.

Tixy

I'd agree with littlemoog, move the money to a savings account at the start of the month. That way it isn't there to be spent. Or perhaps if you think £700 should be available move £500 at the beginning of the month by standing order so it happens automatically and then you could top it up with any you have left at the end of the month.

Do you have a single current account or seperate ones for you and OH? Do you use an overdraft or always keep it in credit?

If you have one account and don't have an overdraft maybe you could say to OH every couple of days 'only £300 in the current account to last until payday' etc - with the amount reducing over the month. If he has it pointed out to him how much there is left for things like petrol and groceries regularly maybe he'll think twice when he goes to the shop?

bargainbetty

Either go with Tixy's advice or take it up a step further - open a household account and transfer all your direct debits to it. At the beginning of the salary period, transfer your bills/savings money over, and leave the 'allowance' for your husband (make sure you close off any overdraft facilities, obviously.)

Then when his money runs out, he can't just spend what you have set aside - maybe that will wake him up a little? If he expects you to take all the responsibility, take it!

Good luck x

RAS

jadal wrote: »

. I ask him to limit himself to wine only at the weekends because we can afford that - he says yes. he then has a bad day at work and comes home with two bottles of wine. He has a good day at work and comes home with a bottle of wine to celebrate!!

I actually think you may need to address this issue of alchohol consumption here.

Buying the kids magazines is a cover for the booze.