Helping my wife! Please help :(

Gallstones

Hi all
To cut things short, my wife gave birth to our child in November, and since then has suffered a prolapse down below, and shouldnt lift over 10 pounds! Im currently in full time employment (just started a new job) and my wife is a stay at home mum, and it looks like im going to have to help her at home, is there any benefits I can take to look after her? We have 4 children and currently claim tax credits. Someone please help, its really upsetting

dmg24

Prolapses are normally treatable (depending on where 'down below' refers to), so I assume this will not be a long term need. How long will it be until she is more mobile?

Gallstones

Its a Vaginal prolapse, Its going to be a good few months depending if surgery is needed, if so 6+ months.

dmg24

She won't have care needs for long enough to qualify for DLA, so your options are very limited. Could you cut your hours, so you will qualify for WTC, and get help from friends and family? Also ask for an OT assessment, they should be able to offer adaptations to help her out.

karenx

There is nothing you can claim to stay at home and look after her unless she claims DLA but it doesnt look like she will be eligable.

Gallstones

Hi

Its the front and rear vaginal muscles and she is awaiting assessment from a specialist to ensure the vaginal cavity is not affected as this is too difficult for a GP to ascertain. Shes in quite a lot of pain with it. Our daughter was over 10lb born and now weighs 16lb. this plus the weight of the baby car seat and household chores is making it a lot worse for her. Its really bad timing as I've just started a new job so I don't feel able to ask to cut my hours. I'm just not sure what we can do but obviously I don't want her getting any worse. Apparently she is quite likely to require corrective surgery after which she won't be able to lift for almost 3 months.

dmg24

I know you want to do your best for her, but many people have to manage like that permanently, so you need to look at making short term adaptations to help. Ask her Health Visitor or GP about getting an OT assessment.

Gallstones

thanks I will

crutches

Although not officially disabled you can get a lot of advice about adaptaions and coping from here.

http://www.disabledparentsnetwork.org.uk/discus/messages/9/9.html?1293719257.

And also get her to post on someof the baby networks to get advice from other mums who've dealt with it.

Good Luck.! It is hard with a newborn anyway without complications but many of us manage because there is no other choice.Unfortunately by the time most help kicks in many problems are sorted.

Youll have to do a lot when you get home I expect too.!

crutches

And if you have just started a new job make sure GP,consultant,Health Visitor are aware she is on her own at home now too.They may assume its all ok because you are in their minds as unemployed.