At my wits end

Kimberley82

I have 2 children 7 and 8 and until 6 months ago had been a sahm since my oldest was born.

I now work full time, and my 7 year old daughter has turned into the child from hell, she is rude wont do as she is told answers back.

I feel like I am running on empty and have tried everything i can think of. Its got to the point I dont want to come home any more.

delain

I've got one of those!

There is a pastoral care worker at the school who chats with her which helps.

try talking to her about why she's upset and angry. Maybe she just misses you?

If it helps my older one is starting to grow out of it now although we do have the odd awful day still lol.

sassyblue

Your daughter is missing you or feeling left out, she also just getting older and maybe trying it on. I know because l was the same with my mum at that age, she worked full-time and l have 3 younger siblings. :cool:

Maybe try and have some one-to-one time with her and make her feel special again?

I'm not criticising, l bet she just feels she has less attention, Good Luck, l'm a school-hours working mum, it's hard! x

balletshoes

OP what have you tried already?

Kimberley82

Thanks for the suggestions, I have got to work and calmed down a bit, my last post was maybe a bit OTT.

I am trying to give her one to one time, though its not as much as it was. We have a girly day planned for half term too.

I have tried talking to her, tried doing things differently, threatened and removed privileges like TV, seeing friends, activities etc. She isnt like this for her dad but as he works crazy hours he is never there in the mornings which are the worst times.

Amanda65

How do you think if she was involved in your morning routine a bit more? Perhaps you could spend 15 minutes together the night before checking her school bag / making packed lunch (if applicable) / sorting out clothes, hair srunchies, PE kit etc. and the bargain could be an extra 10 minutes of chatting / reading / TV in the morning.

It may involve you getting up 15 minutes earlier so that you are ready when she wakes up and can spend your time concentrating on your children (sorry that sounds really critical and like you don't at the moment and I don't mean that at all - I know how hard it is).

The trade off for smoother mornings could be staying up a bit later on a Friday for some one to one time (painting her nails, washing her hair in nice smelly shampoo and drying it for her, reading a nice book together).

It sounds as though the mornings are what you are both struggling with at the moment and maybe she just feels a bit rushed. COuld you get the children up 10 minutes earlier as well just to make things a bit more relaxed?

Going from being at home to FT work in one fell swoop cannot be an easy transition for any of you, especially as Dad isn't round much either so huge admiration for you on giving it a go. It will probably just take a little getting used to for everyone.

And just out of curiosity, how does your 8yo cope ?

balletshoes

My DD and I often used to butt heads in the mornings, neither of us are morning people, and we're always rushing out the door it seems.

I now wake up and give my DD 5 minutes warning (ie I go into her room, wake her and say "5 minutes then you need to get up and get dressed"). Then I leave her, get dressed myself, and go back after 5 minutes with "time to get up now".

5 minutes before we have to leave the house (she goes to breakfast club at school) I call upstairs and ask her how she's getting on, and we need to leave.

Now, I will say, that before we started with this, I used to be literally pulling my hair out and shouting every minute to her to get a move on, because she had no sense of any kind of urgency and that she needed to move it to get out on time. We've been doing this for about 3 or 4 months now, and its definitely made for a much calmer household in the mornings.

Amanda's suggestions are great too for getting her involved and ready for school the next morning.

Do your girls have their own alarm clocks? That works for my sister with her kids, they have their own clocks set to the times they each need to get up in the morning to start getting ready for school.

As far as your DD not doing as she's told etc, you do need to be consistent and in it for the long run.
My DD now knows, without me having to tell her, that if she doesn't tidy her room, she's not allowed to invite any of her friends to play, or accept any invitations either, until its done. I told her when we started this process that I have no problem at all telling her friends thats why she's not getting to play, and she knows this is true .

summerday

Kimberley I've pm'd you x

Spendless

What time are they getting up/being out of the hosue for? I went back to work around the same time as you. My kids are 7 and 10 and though I now have school hours, for the past fortnight I've been without a car, so the kids have had to be out of the door for 7.30 upto an hour earlier than usually. I've noticed a difference in how more tired they are. I find waking mine up but saying you can have 5-10 minutes more in bed is helpful, so is having all their stuff ready.


Perhaps your daughter is just in need of a rest from her regular routine- are you working next week?

P.S IMO dark mornings don't help.!!

Kimberley82

Spendless wrote: »

What time are they getting up/being out of the hosue for? I went back to work around the same time as you. My kids are 7 and 10 and though I now have school hours, for the past fortnight I've been without a car, so the kids have had to be out of the door for 7.30 upto an hour earlier than usually. I've noticed a difference in how more tired they are. I find waking mine up but saying you can have 5-10 minutes more in bed is helpful, so is having all their stuff ready.


Perhaps your daughter is just in need of a rest from her regular routine- are you working next week?

P.S IMO dark mornings don't help.!!

we get up and have to be out the house at the same time as always.

no im not

Kimberley82

Well my husband had a long talk with her and she has been a lot better since so I am hoping it lasts.