My step in the right direction

La_escocesa

littleredfairy wrote: »

My main issue is that I cut back on everything and then get frustrated and spend!

I sometimes get like that so make sure I 'treat' myself. If I feel like I'm depriving myself I end up splurging...so instead I try to spend a minimum amount every day I'm feeling like that. Last week my 'treat' was a new lip balm for £1.49! Sad but true. Got the urge to spend so made sure I kept it manageable - squash that spending urge! :rotfl:

littleredfairy

Thank you all for your advice.

I have been takign my lunch into work since the start of January. I work right beside a big shopping centre so it's very tempting at lunch. I have cancelled my gym and my mags are on subscrition, which works out cheaper, and I will only renew one (if any at all).

I currently owe about £2000 on my credit card, and have an £800 overdraft, which I am not using at the mo - the apr of the cc is cheaper than the overdraft.

I think I just genuinely thought because my monthly direct debits are not that much that I could afford all this, but when it adds up over the year - as the budget shows - I cannot. I am going skiing in six weeks, thank god it has already been paid but it contributed towards this muddle. And I have been doing a language course but for work reasons cannot do next twem, so that's £560 I won't be spending.

I've also started walking to work when possible. The problem is I always think if I do something i've 'saved money', which is different to 'not spending'. I really don't have a big going out social life, but I dont' want to miss going across london for the odd coffee etc. I explained my situation to my friends today and they know not to expect me at everything, and I won't be doing any big dinner parties again any time soon. In a silly way I think that if I am not there or not cooking for people at home (a false economy when you are cooking three courses for five!) I will be forgotten. rather daft.

Tixy

Totally understand this littlered, I used to hate the idea of friends meeting up and me feeling left out, I then used to feel that they would leave me out of future plans etc without giving me the option to join in.

Luckily from your finances it looks like you haven't got to be drastic in your cutbacks, just make a few small changes and you should be fine. And I do think its easier if your friends know that you are not there because you are trying to cut back a bit, as opposed to not wanting to spend time with them. It seems its become much more acceptable for people to admit this to friends in the current economic climate.

Working by a shopping centre would be very tempting for me as well. I try to spend my lunch hours either reading a book or online so I don't pop out to the shops every day.

Mupette

are you sharing the tv licence fee £4.00 is quite low.

£120 eating out, is that socialising.. I know I know but if this was me, i wouldn't eat out, all my friends understand i can't go out as often as them, they don't treat me any differently.

CH27

littleredfairy wrote: »

Thank you all for your advice.

I have been takign my lunch into work since the start of January. I work right beside a big shopping centre so it's very tempting at lunch. I have cancelled my gym and my mags are on subscrition, which works out cheaper, and I will only renew one (if any at all).

I currently owe about £2000 on my credit card, and have an £800 overdraft, which I am not using at the mo - the apr of the cc is cheaper than the overdraft.

I think I just genuinely thought because my monthly direct debits are not that much that I could afford all this, but when it adds up over the year - as the budget shows - I cannot. I am going skiing in six weeks, thank god it has already been paid but it contributed towards this muddle. And I have been doing a language course but for work reasons cannot do next twem, so that's £560 I won't be spending.

I've also started walking to work when possible. The problem is I always think if I do something i've 'saved money', which is different to 'not spending'. I really don't have a big going out social life, but I dont' want to miss going across london for the odd coffee etc. I explained my situation to my friends today and they know not to expect me at everything, and I won't be doing any big dinner parties again any time soon. In a silly way I think that if I am not there or not cooking for people at home (a false economy when you are cooking three courses for five!) I will be forgotten. rather daft.

Not daft at all.
You need to look very carefully at your priorities & decide what is the most important. If its' seeing your friends then cut back on drinks in the house or on your shopping for fun.
From your figures you can easily cut back on a lot & still treat yourself.

Good luck:)

littleredfairy

Yes, I know it's a bit high, but I did eat out once a week - I have now cut down. But I am sure there are other things I have not included and it is how I initially behaved in London when I moved a year ago - that's pretty much how I ended up in this state - everyone eats out, everyone drinks after work, and I didn't know anyone!

CH27

littleredfairy wrote: »

Yes, I know it's a bit high, but I did eat out once a week - I have now cut down. But I am sure there are other things I have not included and it is how I initially behaved in London when I moved a year ago - that's pretty much how I ended up in this state - everyone eats out, everyone drinks after work, and I didn't know anyone!

Nobody is judging you:)
We are just giving you impartial advice to reduce your spending.

littleredfairy

I think the other issue is that I do hang out with friends who earn double what I do - they are very understanding, but it can be frustrating - no one wants to eb the boring one who wont' order another bottle of wine.

I think my liver, bank balance and waistline will all benefit from a break! And my nervous system!

Mupette

littleredfairy wrote: »

I think the other issue is that I do hang out with friends who earn double what I do - they are very understanding, but it can be frustrating - no one wants to eb the boring one who wont' order another bottle of wine.

I think my liver, bank balance and waistline will all benefit from a break! And my nervous system!

Wouldn't worry about it.

My best friend that i went to school with, we used to do so much together, then she left the town we lived in and went to uni elsewhere....she has made a fortune, and i struggle with money.

She doesn't bail me out, I don't want her to, there is no power struggle with us... money does not come into our friendship, she was born into a poor family, knows exactly what it is like, and would never judge, never expects us to go to expensive resturants, and favours ones that all our friends can afford to go to. I never feel guilty if i don't have 'another bottle of wine' - can't seem to drink now anyway.

People are now becoming aware that people are losing their jobs and homes, who were once considered extremely well off and have adjusted accordingly. Those who scoff... have a long way to fall.

littleredfairy

I have done all this, and completely ommitted the fact I owe my dad £6,000 for a loan he paid of for me. He said I could pay it back at £6k when he retires, he retired two years ago and hasn't seen a bean. He himself is in a lots of debt and I in some ways a) still cannot afford to give him it back and also, b) feel I am stopping him spending the money.