Am i mad/selfish for doing this?

TooDee

Yep, do what you want! Its your day, your Mum or anyone else doesn't have to know how many dresses you've looked at or with who. If you think shes really going to be offened by being left out could you go for a day with her just for the sake of it. You don't have to decide on your dress on that day but you might suprise yourself.
I wouldn't want my mum there we have totally different tastes and she has no idea what suits me. Shes mortified I want to wear a tea length dress and not a long one. I will go with my oldest friend who I know I will be able to tell from the look on her face if its good or not.

shellsuit

I bought my own and never consulted anyone else nor asked for their advice, seeing as though I was the one who would be wearing it.

When and if my daughter gets married, if she chooses to do the same than that's fine with me ~ her choice, her life, her wedding!

There's nowt worse than doing something you really don't want to do out of guilt.

celyn90

I also went shopping on my own - in fact I ordered it online, picked it up from the store and altered it myself. OH is the only other person to have seen it.

I despise shopping, so the thought of traipsing around trying on stuff freaked me out quite a bit.

I am also quite top-heavy in terms of body shape, so I knew exactly what would fit me and suit me as I'm used to having issues with formal wear. I looked at loads online; then chose one and it was perfectly fine.

It never once occured to me to take anyone with me; I'm the one that has to wear it and I wouldn't have wanted to inflict my generally shopping associated moodyness on anyone. I also don't particularly enjoy wedding planning - to me it is just another to-do list that happens before I can enjoy a life of being married to someone I care about.

Logistically it would have been hard anyway as I don't live anywhere near my family. cel x

mountainofdebt

I think, as a mum, I would be upset if my daughter (if I had one!) didn't at least let me come with her to try on some dresses.

OP -as a compromise, why don't you let a friend / your mum come with you to try on the different styles but if you truely want to keep the style secret order it when you're on your own. That way you can get honest opinions but still give everyone a surprise to the actual dress itself.

Giggles_Fairy

Could you compromise. Go shopping yourself and narrow it down to the shortlist then take whoever you want with you to give an opinion. That way you get the space to choose yourself and they dont feel like they have 'missed out'

aarchk

I went to several shops on my own. I wanted to get used to the dresses and shopping for them if that makes sense. I had heard so many find it overwhelming especially with BMs and mums there. I later tried on some dresses with a BM, then I booked to see a dress I had seen in a magazine that ticked all the boxes and thats the one I took my mum to.

I know one girl who did several different shops with different people and picked a couple of favourite dresses. when she went to buy and do all the fittings she did that on her own so no one knew the exact style she had chosen until the day of the wedding. I should have done that as my mum currently flashing my dress to everyone...

floss2

I went shopping on my own, tried several dresses on and we hadn't even set a date

Then I went again with my BM, still no date set....

Then I bought my dress from ebay (it was one I'd tried on the first time out!) and still had no date set!!

Then we set the date

amus

No, not at all I was walking past my local wedding shop, saw my dream dress on sale in the window, went in, tried it on, bought it. My Mum was a bit upset with me for not including her but its my day and it was the perfect dress for me. After all you dont want anybody else influncing your dress choice, its all about what you want.

jojo2004

Agree with the others that at the end of the day it's up to you how you feel comfortable doing the dress thing. I liked the suggestion that you could take your mum for the first trying on of lots of styles, so she sees you in dresses, but the final outcome is still a surprise.

Alternatively, could you ask her to help you shop for accessories when you have chosen the dress? Veil/tiara/shoes/lingerie? Or you could make a big deal out of her helping you get ready on the day? That way she sees the dress first, and can have a cry in private, but you don't have to compromise too much?

I went the first time with three friends, the second time with a different friend; the next time I go will be with my ma, my ma-in-law to be (possibly, depending on which day we can make it!) and hopefully my sister. After that I have another appointment with a friend who desperately wanted to come dress shopping with me! Can you tell I like trying on dresses?!!:rotfl:

Danielle - why do you feel you want to go alone? Are you nervous, or do you just prefer to shop alone?

I was so nervous the first time, I had visions of the shop lady saying nothing would fit (I had it in my head that all dresses would be in size 8, and as a size 12-14, I thought they would treat me like a heffalump!!), or of them saying things like 'for the larger bride'... Nothing like that happened, and I'm glad I went with friends as they were so helpful in discussing colours and shapes, and giving me the confidence to try on styles I was fairly sure wouldn't suit me (just to check).

You could always have a talk with your mum and explain? My mum has been AMAZING about everything wedding related - she's allowed me space to do stuff when I want to, but has been super-interested whenever I've wanted wedding chats, and is coming to a wedding show with me (which I am SO excited about). We agreed from the start that it was my wedding (she said it first!) and that I appreciated her not trying to take over, but that actually, I really wanted her input a lot.

You don't 'have' to invite anyone. If you invite your mum, but not his mum, that is totally normal. Just try talking to them!

Anyway lovely, best of luck! xxxx

DanielleNic87

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I have always gone shopping by myself, i much prefer doing that than in groups.

I don't really have "best friends" that i could go with.

Maybe i should just take the mothers, my mum wouldn't be too bothered about it to be honest but MIL to be has already said she wants to come!!

It may come down to the fact that i don't feel confortable with myself, hate the way i look etc. As you can see from my sig that i am currently trying to lose weight. I don't know whether it is best for me to wait until i have lost a couple of stone before i start looking.

Danielle