wife about to find out about my debt

smidge40

I'm totally at my wits end over this, dont know what to do apart from run away from it all. I ran up massive debts while i was in a previous relationship, bank loans, credit cards, overdrafts. I contacted an iva company (always on the tv) they advised me to get a new bank account which i did, the IVA was agreed, but the bank which i joined at that time did not take standing orders, so couldn't set up the payments, that was almost 7 years ago, so no payments have been paid to any of my creditors what so ever.

I moved areas very shortly after and moved in to my partners house, we later married and have a 5 year old daughter. My wife knew that i was in debt and she was under the impression that i was paying it off and she now thinks my last payment was in Jan. So as far as she is concerned i am now debt free. She is about to go from full time to part time as she thinks my payments are finished. I am so scared about telling her that i am not debt free, cause it'll be prob be the end of my marrige and she will kick me out, after all it is her house.


The other problem i have now is that i have started to recieve letters from a solicitor demanding payment or they will take me to court or send round debt collectors. The debt by the way they are demanding is for £30,000, but i know there is more. I have no idea how the hell they have found me, as i dont or cant get anything on credit anyway.
i have no idea what to do for the best, do i just come clean and maybe go bankrupt, if i did that how would that effect my wife as the debts are mine and not hers, i wouldn't want her to lose her house or should i go the statute barred route as i have had no contact or payments have been made for over 6 years. The last contact i had with the iva people was in June 2004 and the last payments was prob in April 2004. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.

tealady

Right. If you really don't wan't to tell your wife then the 1st thing you need to find out is are the debts statute barred. If you can post the solicitor letter (without the identifying details of course) then we can have a look and advise you.
It might be worth getting copies of your credit reports as well.
You may wish to reflect on this proverb (think its Chinese)

Trouble knocked at the door
Fear called out "Who's there"
Courage opened the door and there was no one there.

Good luck

eyeopener2

First things first.

Tell your wife. Trust me on this, it is better she knows everything otherwise you will always be looking over your shoulder, or hiding post or worrying everytime the phone rings.

She will go mad, mine did, she may kick you out, mine did. However we worked things out, got a plan together and you can see from my signature the progress i've made.

Tell her, she doesn't deserve being lied to anymore and it will be a relief to you. The truth always is.

saffronflowers

Please tell your wife, as someone who not less than 10 days had some horrendous news from her husband, I can tell you that she would rather hear from you than find out! She probably will go balistic and you will wonder what the point of being honest, but it would be worse if she found out as then there would be deceit and dishonesty involved. Bite the bullet, please

As previous posters have stated, check to see if they are statue barred as they are over 6 years old and if you have not acknowledge or paid anything then they may well not be able to claim on them

SFx

bugslet

Just wanted to say that yes, tell her. If it were me and Mr bugslet told me, I'd be interballistic as well but when I'd come down from the ceiling, I'd still be around and taking some of the strain of sorting the mess out. The deception must be difficult for you and it's better if you can get it out into the open.

Good luck.

WelshPaul

The creditor can seek a legal judgement against a creditor even if the debt is over six years old as they moved and failed to update their details, in other words ran and hide.

As long at the creditor has followed steps to track the debtor down then it can be enforced, i was told this by the CAB.

Basically if you lived at the same address and the creditor knew your contact details and no contact or payment is made in six years the creditor is screwed, however if they do or you move and fail to update your details and they still attempt contact your liable.

EDIT: This was around six years ago mind, things may have changed?

thumperrabbit

Tell her, from someone who has been in your position... you will be sick with worry everytime the post comes through the letter box, phone rings etc. I hid debts for years and as soon as my husband found out he did go ballistic, I slept on the couch for a while! He did help me sort it out in the end and we are a much stronger couple for doing it.

Before you tell her though I would work out the true extent of it.

winner12

Hi
I agree with thumperrabbit its hard but once she knows it will be a weight off your mind I did not tell my OH for years it all came out when he rang the bank when his card was refused
How bad was that but we sat down put togeather a plan with the help of National Debt Line and I now have a self managed DMP its been running for a year with only 1 creditor hassling me still all the others have accepted.
But I dont get any calls, hardly any post and I sleep at night and
Life goes on its only money and you need to ask yourself whats more important if you have a strong relationship thats all that matters

Percy1983

Just as a general rule lies (or withholding the truth) always spiral the sooner you stop the spiral the better.

As it is a told my fiancee before I even proposed as I thought it was best to deal with it then, as it is I was never in trouble but numbers where high and due to rate jacking I wasn't making much headway at the time. As it is we have since been working together and its nearly all paid now.

RAS

Hi smidge

You need some very very careful advice about bankruptcy.

If your wife owned the house outright when you mioved in there is no problem.

if it can be shown that you have contributed to the mortgage since you moved in, you may be considered to have a Beneficial Interest, even if you are not on the deeds. Please please get expert advice on this.

And you really are going to have to tell her.

What did you do with the money she thought was being used to pay the IVA?

Sparklyfairy

I don't think Welshpaul's advice is correct...although I'm unsure how things stand re: IVAs (aren't they a legally binding contract?). If IVAs aren't legally binding then I'd presume they are the same as any other debt where the 6 year no contact - no payment (statue barred) rule applies. They CAN chase you for the money after the 6 years are up but they CANNOT take you to court over it. Also, as long as you're not on the mortgage or house title, they cannot request a charging order. They may try to make you bankrupt although from what I hear it is very expensive to do & I'm unsure they're even able to after the 6 year limit anyway...then again the IVA makes things very confusing as that may make it easier..? I have received bad advice from the CAB in the past & I suggest contacting National Debt Line to see what they suggest as they may have seen this situation before. Also post in the IVA/Bankruptsy board below this one as there may be people there that can help as well...I hope this helps somewhat & I agree with the others, tell your wife (perhaps after you've had some more advice re the details)..SF