PRAISE: church minister defeats Maf1a!

Lirin

I had some surprising news from a Nigerian minister last week. Apparantly, I'm the last surviving heir to a 22million fortune- it was very nice of him to tell me. He did stress very emphatically that he wasn't asking for money in the slightest, but I did need to send him my passport so he could confirm who I was. Very nicely, he promised to hand-deliver it back to me when he would be over visiting the next week.

NiallB

PhylPho wrote: »

Excellent news, and how nice to hear from someone genuine.

The money requested would be on its way to you but by coincidence PayPal emailed me this morning with a request to input my password and details of any linked credit/debit cards so they could be confirmed, and my National Insurance number and car's registration to authenticate everything. It's all to do with routine security maintenance which won't take more than 48 hours to complete during which time, quite naturally, I mustn't use my PayPal account.

I think it's really good of PayPal to be on the ball like this even if its spelling is a bit naff ('sekurity', 'maintenonse' etc.)

Good man, we will also need your mother's maiden name and your inside leg measurement.

I mean Paypal will.

PhylPho

Mother's maiden name was Bull. Her first name was Gully. My friend the Reverend says I take after her. How nice of him. If you check your records, you'll see I've already sent my inside leg measurements to you / to PayPal together with my bank account details. This security check seems to be exceptionally comprehensive.

Azari

PhylPho wrote: »

Mother's maiden name was Bull. Her first name was Gully. My friend the Reverend says I take after her. How nice of him. If you check your records, you'll see I've already sent my inside leg measurements to you / to PayPal together with my bank account details. This security check seems to be exceptionally comprehensive.

There have been problems with dopplegangers with short legs masquerading as recipients of various sums of money worldwide.

NiallB

Indeed, the good Rev and I are constantly plagued by stumpy scammers, alas.

PhylPho

Just a quick updatre on the way things are falling apart in Nigeria -- first the Rev Lotus Cortina warning of the Maf1a, now the United Nations stepping in with a further horror story.

The fragrant Mrs Inga Britt-Alhenius (for it is she) of the United Nations Office of International Oversight Services has kindly emailed me today to say that Nigeria is in a right ol mess. Inga, as she likes to be known, works for the UNOIOS's Internal Audit, Monitoring, Consulting and Investigations Division.

(She's going to send me her business card by Fedex as it's too large for normal post.)

On behalf of the UNOIOSIAMCID, she wishes to remind me that "as you are well aware, many foreigners have investeed Thousands of United States Dollars into Nigeria transactions in Hopeless Dreams to have none of them become a reality."

Well actually no. I wasn't aware. But this is awful. First Nigeria is the Land of The Maf1a. Now it's The Land of Hopeless Dreams as well.

It's quite obvious, the day of the Nigerian scammer is over, and everyone should be grateful for the courage of people like the Rev Lotus Position and Mrs Unhinged Batty-Allsorts of You Know I Owe Siam, Sid.

Unhinged has been directed by her boss, Mr Ban Ki-Moon (crazy name, crazy guy) to facilitate the repatriation of Gawd knows how many millions of dollars back to the West from The Land of Hopeless Dreams and specifically, straight into my bank account. Via Western Union, natch.

I'd love to oblige but I'm still tied up in that deal with the Rev Mondeo Titanium involving the $100 million he's smuggling out under the noses of the Nigerian Maf1a.

If anyone can hep the United Nations in this, its hour of need, then let me know. As for The Land of Broken Dreams, it's obviously beyond help (though inexplicably, still seems to have more spare cash knocking about than the whole of the UK.)