Im addicted to gambling.

david39

I had a problem gambling at casinos on roulette. This was before the days of on-line gambling, so had to physically attend. After a few years of losing loads of money, I came to my senses and went to GA.

They were very helpful and they stopped me gambling for about six months. Then, in one of the sessions where you stand up and talk about yourself, I said that I had put away some of the money I had gambled and put it into premium bonds. I said I thought this was a good way of stopping using the money for gambling as it was not immediately available to spend on a whim, if the gambling bug suddenly got to me again.

I was immediately reprimanded for this because although you get all of your money back, you are still gambling with the interest you would have earned if you had put the money in the bank.

That was the moment when I realised that gambling (for me) was not ALL bad and it just needed will-power to overcome the excesses. That was 20 years ago - I've never been back to a casino since nor been into a bookies. My only flutter is a weekly lottery ticket (£2) and occasional visits with my wife to bingo.

But - all credit due - it was GA that got me thinking straight in the first place and I would thoroughly recommend a visit to them for those with a serious problem. Eventually, you will decide if you need to keep attending every week or not. Like AA, they say you are never cured, you just keep the urges under control.

GillianY1

First, well done for admitting you have a gambling problem.

Please make sure you do tell your wife as I am sure she will understand (probably after shouting at you for being so stupid in the first place!) and will want to help you.

I am currently going through a difficult phase with my husband as he has been gambling for a number of years and ran up a few debts that he didn't tell me about. We recently separated due to something else happening but I have since found out about the gambling and was really hurt that he hadn't spoken to me about it. He is my husband and I would do anything to help him. Yes, I would have been shocked and probably shouted at him about it, but after that I would have tried to help him beat his addiction and pay off the debts.

Good luck telling the wife - she deserves to know whats been going on before its too late.

tomterm8

Check out http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/ (it is a charity - basically the sister group to the AA)

malkie

Afternoon Engeroosi,

Well for a start well done for admitting it that is one of the hardest things to do and I would say tell your wife she might shout and scream but if she loves you then she will help you sort it.

I have had the exact same problem, Gambling it took over my life.. I got myself into about 40k of Debt with gambling. I would gamble on anything casino,bookies,poker, football I mean anything. So abit about me I am 33 years old and earn about 100k a year and have lots of spare time on my hands. So I went to GA and it was good, but it was not for me I have to sort things out byself just the way my brain works. So you have to work out what is best for you as some things work for some people and not others. For me the challenage was to pay off the debt. I woke up in June-2010 and today I have about 13k left to pay I have set myself a goal of June-2011 to pay it off. Hopefully I will get there. So I got a self ban from the bookies and the Casino so I am not allowed in.

It is a really hard thing to crack but you will get there just try and think of something positive to fill your time with. Get out there and get hobbies start doing things with your wife go out more do things enjoy life, do not get annoyed because you gambled and lost....

Change your thinking and mind set

Malkie

mdr86

Hi, if you're using online sites I would recommend K9 Web Protection - http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ - I haven't actually used it to block gambling sites, but it's very good at lots of other things, also once you've told your wife, get her to change the password so you can't get round it.

mandrake75

You've taken the first step, well done. Its a year ago this month i did the same.
I blew my rent money on roulette machines and was in a ery dark place with a mountain of debt on my shoulders
I told two close friends about my addiction and went to my first Gamblers Annon meeting (highly recommended) and i haven't looked back (or gambled) since
A couple of suggestions. Once you've told your missus maybe get her to look after your cash cards. No money equals no gambling. She can always give you enough for basics should you be apart.
Also, if you go into any local bookies, go in one last time and ask the staff to ban you (known as self exclusion)
All the very best!

dancingfairy

Your wife may have known there was a problem but may have thought it was something worse-like you having an affair or some serious illness or something. Hopefully she will support you if you have any weak moments.
df

PontyEnd

There's some good advice in this thread. Especially from padington about it not being a weakness. The weakness is doing nothing about it.

I have some experience in this area, personal and through work. I think only the person involved can determine their state of "addictiveness". If they literally can't go a day without gambling then it's not gonna be easy to go cold turkey all on their own.

The first step is definetely admitting there is some problem to begin with.

The OP has hit the nail on the head when he says gambling is not a way to make money. It is mathmatically impossible to win long term in a casino, as it is betting "blind" on racing and football. However, I think a lot of people know this, anyone decent at maths or with a brain should know this but if it was so easy to stop then no one would get in trouble. People know smoking kills but they still do it.

The OP hasn't given much detail so the only advice I could offer is that if you are scared you won't be able to stop then you should contact one of the organisations mentioned on here, they can give better, professional advice. If you are determined to stop on your own, do it, mark today as day one.

Any man can make a mistake, but only an idiot will persist in error. Good luck.

mostlycheerful

You might consider doing some endorphin raising displacement-replacement activity such as 10 minutes a day or half an hour or hour a day or a week of each of some or even most of the following :

1 Exercise
running on the spot indoors, running around the block, running to the local park then round it once or twice, exercise bicycle, swimming, squash, tennis etc

2 Meditation
Simple technique is just to close your eyes for 10 minutes and think of sunshine in the park and some nice experiences you’ve had previously.

Another common technique is thinking a one or two syllable mantra, ie a word such as good or love or sunshine, and thinking the word(s) on each breath out. The first few times you do this your mind will likely have various thoughts bubbling away but when you’ve done it a few times you’ll likely find your mind starting to clear a bit which can be refreshing and empowering.

There are also various detailed techniques, lots of websites and books available, various groups who meet and do it if you want to learn some more powerful stuff and do it with a group and a leader or even guru if you want to get right into it.

3 Hobbies
Painting and drawing, pottery and sculpture and any kind of art, writing your diary and life story, writing poetry, writing short stories, writing pieces to post on this forum or for any other websites or magazines, any kind of writing, music, any kind of music, on your own or with friends, singing in a choir is very uplifting, making music on a computer, making short films either just using your mobile phone’s camera or with an actual video camera, any kind of sports, golf, cricket, swimming, tennis, squash, jogging, anything.

4 Yoga
Lots of types, lots of stuff on the net, in books, lots of stuff you can do for just 10 minutes on your own at home for no cost. Or go and join a group and get stuck in.

5 Taichi
Again, you can do it yourself out of a book or off a website and or you can join some classes and learn off teachers and do it in a group with other people.

Anything at all that focuses your mind, fills up a bit of time and gives you pleasure and stretches your mental and or physical muscles is good.

Preferably stuff that you can do a bit of at least once a week and preferably, if possible, at least half an hour a day.

If you set a “you” time for each day and try to do at least 10 minutes and preferably half an hour or an hour of one or two or three of the above suggestions then you may find that this fills you up and empowers you in a nice positive way. Exercise, meditation, yoga and taichi can be quite radically good for some people, you can get a real inner glow off them when you do them regularly.

Hope this helps, good luck.

tealady

PontyEnd wrote: »

Any man can make a mistake, but only an idiot will persist in error. QUOTE]

What a fantastic saying! Must try and remember that