Solutions for partners that can't stop spending above their means?

necronaut

I gave money to my girlfriend to pay off her overdraft and cancel it.

She did so, but soon after she applied for another on her internet banking as it's only a couple of clicks away. She was instantly accepted for another £1000 overdraft. Now she spends again and incurs the same £5 overdraft usage charge every month so it's back to square one. :lipsrseal

Any ideas?

gunsandbanjos

necronaut wrote: »

I gave money to my girlfriend to pay off her overdraft and cancel it.

She did so, but soon after she applied for another on her internet banking as it's only a couple of clicks away. She was instantly accepted for another £1000 overdraft. Now she spends again and incurs the same £5 overdraft usage charge every month so it's back to square one. :lipsrseal

Any ideas?

Don't treat her like a child. She spent the money, she has to work to pay it off.

If you keep giving her the money to get herself out of trouble she will never learn to budget for herself.

Get her to keep a spending diary for a month, that may shock her into realising how much money she really spends.

Apricot

Get her to pay you back the original £1000 since she clearly didn't want to be out of debt. Until she realises there is nothing you can do unfortuntely (except don't get any joint credit with her)

balletshoes

necronaut wrote: »

I gave money to my girlfriend to pay off her overdraft and cancel it.

She did so, but soon after she applied for another on her internet banking as it's only a couple of clicks away. She was instantly accepted for another £1000 overdraft. Now she spends again and incurs the same £5 overdraft usage charge every month so it's back to square one. :lipsrseal

Any ideas?

keep your finances completely separate and if you truly want to help her, stop bailing her out. Harsh maybe, but if you're there to fall back on financially when she's spent up, she won't have a reason to stop and re-think how she spends.

Tish_P

1. Don't give her any more money.

2. Let her know how you feel about her taking the money you sacrificed to help her out of debt and spending it. If she wasn't planning to accept your help and change her habits, she should not have accepted the money.

3. Don't give her any more money. This was worth saying twice.

How financially entangled are you? If you've got joint finances you have a duty to each other not to spend more than you have, and if you haven't got joint finances there shouldn't be large sums of money passing hands between you. Either way she owes you a huge apology, I reckon.

necronaut

I did forget to mention, she is direct debiting me that loan money back bit by bit monthly and i'm not lending her anymore money.

We don't have a joint account.

I just told her how I felt and she ran out the door in a ball of tears and i'm !!!!ing glad.

RAS

Glad she is paying you back.

If she is upset about her finances, one suggestion is that she comes over to the debt free wannabee forum and people can help her budget. She would probably prefer to do this privately?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Dump her.

Harsh, but if she runs away in tears because you've threatened to stop her pocket money (which is what bailing her out boils down to), you're probably well rid.

laurel7172

(But get your money back first):rotfl:

DVardysShadow

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Dump her.

Harsh, but if she runs away in tears because you've threatened to stop her pocket money (which is what bailing her out boils down to), you're probably well rid.

On the whole I agree with this. But it could be that being straight with her has brought home something that she just did not get, so she might sort her ideas out in a day or 2.

Pixiechic

Your girlfriend sounds like a spoilt little Princess. If she wants to get herself in debt then let her, it's her choice and she is an adult. Just ensure that her financial situation doesn't affect you and obviously, don't bother to bail her out anymore.

"I just told her how I felt and she ran out the door in a ball of tears" - I would find that very irritating and childish.