Work Colleagues

fa123

I would love to have such nice people like yourselves as co workers!
A lot of people think what I feel, but they dont have the balls to say anything its all said behind one anothers back, and thank you so much for your advice it has put a new perspective on how to deal with/look at the situation. :T

InaPickle

fa123 wrote: »

I would love to have such nice people like yourselves as co workers!
A lot of people think what I feel, but they dont have the balls to say anything its all said behind one anothers back, and thank you so much for your advice it has put a new perspective on how to deal with/look at the situation. :T

You're welcome. I would quite happily swap you for aforementioned colleague. The key is to make sure that they can't get you on anything as they are certainly unpleasant enough to try. Best of luck and keep your wits about you.

spandangled

fa123 wrote: »

CFC I like that idea without being rude/offensive how do I go about talking to this co worker? We ignored one other for the rest of the day and I really want to be the bigger person and try to sort this out, but I really dont think there will be a change

I have this problem with someone who I work with, and I find the best way to talk to them, is not to be irrational or snappy, but very calmly say, 'I find XYZ situation difficult because...' if I went in there saying 'you did this and you did that and that really annoys me' they'd immediately become defensive and hostile, but explaining the cause and the effect it has on you, leaves them to reflect on their behaviour a bit.

You could always say something like 'I didn't realise that it would be an issue for me to have water on the shop floor yesterday as it is something we regularly do as a team, however I found the way in which I was spoken to yesterday quite distressing and I responded accordingly. I do think there are some underlying issues that our work would benefit from being resolved and would you mind if we met to discuss these issues in the presence of our/mine/your manager in order for them to be addressed'.

If they say no, then sod them, you can go back to your manager and point out that you made an attempt to discuss these issues in order to improve your working environment but unfortunately the other party are not interested and you do not see how the issue will therefore be resolved without some kind of higher intervention.

InaPickle

spandangled wrote: »

I have this problem with someone who I work with, and I find the best way to talk to them, is not to be irrational or snappy, but very calmly say, 'I find XYZ situation difficult because...' if I went in there saying 'you did this and you did that and that really annoys me' they'd immediately become defensive and hostile, but explaining the cause and the effect it has on you, leaves them to reflect on their behaviour a bit.

You could always say something like 'I didn't realise that it would be an issue for me to have water on the shop floor yesterday as it is something we regularly do as a team, however I found the way in which I was spoken to yesterday quite distressing and I responded accordingly. I do think there are some underlying issues that our work would benefit from being resolved and would you mind if we met to discuss these issues in the presence of our/mine/your manager in order for them to be addressed'.

If they say no, then sod them, you can go back to your manager and point out that you made an attempt to discuss these issues in order to improve your working environment but unfortunately the other party are not interested and you do not see how the issue will therefore be resolved without some kind of higher intervention.

This might not be appropriate...if it's someone from a different team they might have very little to do with this person and how formally/informally their team is run, depending on the shop.

fa123

Inapickle well just let me know when she has gone and I will put in my notice!

Spandangled this person is quite a defensive person. As I want to go to him as making amends not trying to make the matter worse, as right now I have calmed down and having a good nights sleep will sort me out.

spandangled

InaPickle wrote: »

This might not be appropriate...if it's someone from a different team they might have very little to do with this person and how formally/informally their team is run, depending on the shop.

But then, that doesn't make how the OP responded better at all. Realistically if it has little to do with it, then the person reporting the OP for drinking water is right. OP shouldn't have been drinking water on the shop floor, OP did, OP was found to be and OP was told that wasn't allowed, OP responded in a snappy manner. In black and white that looks much worse.

What I was trying to point out in my post was that the OP has suggested the culture of drinking water on the shop floor exists and the OP was acting within that culture. To the OP what they were doing wasn't breaking the rules, to the person not working in their team, it was. If the person not working in their team doesn't know that, then they would assume that person needs to be told that drinking is not permitted. Whereas if that person can understand that the OP was drinking because it's permitted in their team, then that person either needs to take it up with the department manager because it's a culture within the team as a whole and not just the OP breaking the rules, or accept it.

InaPickle

fa123 wrote: »

Inapickle well just let me know when she has gone and I will put in my notice!

Probably never, alas, but I'm quite happily contemplating to leave for sunnier climes way before that, so may she fester as far as I am concerned!

Best of luck at your job! :beer:

SHIPSHAPE

fa123 wrote: »

What is the best way to deal with awkward, petty, big for there boots, work colleagues?

Recently I have encountered a lot of the above from one paticular co worker, and I just dont know whats best in dealing with these sorts of people.....Im not a rude person/aggressive but I totally snapped today and gave this co worker a good few truths which he needed to hear.

Can anyone offer any advice? Have you been in similar situations?

Leave and become self employed at something.

I hated the work place environment where you get the brown nosers, people talking about work even when you have a pint after shift, office politics etc etc

The only thing you have in common with these deadheads is the fluke that you happen to walk on the same piece of ground at a place of work and thus your paths cross.

Get out and begin to live.:j

ERICS_MUM

I worked in an office of 200+ staff and managers for years and it was inevitable that there were some disagreeable people.

I have always used the maxim "Kind words turn away wrath" and found it works 8 times out of ten. The other 2 occasions would result in a bit of a row! Cleared the air and gave everyone something to gossip about.

Re the water example. I would have said to him "I know it's naughty but I was desperate for a drink" in a light hearted way. Doesn't give him anything to pick up on, he couldn't take it any further. Actually it's a bit of a put-down but so gentle that he wouldn't have realised.....

Good luck, working in that sort of atmosphere is horrid.

Linda xx

jamespir

ignore them dont rise to the bait and do your job