Will I ever be able to get a second cat?

easilydistracted

I have a lovely cat called Bernie who was been re-homed before, has had a few changes of owner and apparently was homeless for a while - none of them really her fault, the owner before her got allergic to her and she had a fosterer at Cats Protection. We think she is around 4 and have had her since April.

Bernie is scared of her own shadow to start with and has slowly settled in but is still very oversensitive. She got bullied by the cats in her last home and so wouldn't go outside. She will only go outside here very occasionally like if we go out with her. She is bottom of the cat hierachy, the queen bee cats of the area live next door. If Bernie meets a new cat she immediately hisses like crazy and wont let them near her. She also has a broken tooth from where she was homeless, vet thinks from a fight. She generally has a very sweet nature though and is good as gold. I think she is just scared that the cats will be mean to her. She is sometimes a little socialable with a tiny new kitten thats only just allowed out.

I've read a lot of tips on introducing cats to eachother but wanted to ask more experienced owners if they think some cats are just meant to be only cats. I'm really tempted by the idea of rehoming another younger cat in the hope they'd become friends in time. In fact I'm rather in love with a seven month old kitten at one of the sanctuaries whose also described as being very shy but has lived with other cats before.

Does anyone think this could work? I would love to home another cat and for Bernie to have a friend but would feel guilty forever if it ruined her slow to develop sense of security. Thanks for any points of view

spike7451

I myself would love to get a second cat but Daisy is a one cat cat,she doesn't get on with other cats & when she was at the ASSISI,she spent most of her time in the her pen

Good luck & I hope it works out for you & the kitten.

You might want to have a look at the boards on Purrs;

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/board,63.0.html

oldandhappy

It can certainly work. I would say that cats strongest feelings are through smell which has advantage because if you leave a small material item with the kitten to enable the scent to digest then take the item for your Cat to get use to the smell/scent. That I believe breaks down a lot of barriers when they first meet.
We have a glass door that we found good for first few meetings...were they can see and smell each other but not touch.
We have two completely different personality Cats in almost every way really and they do get on just fine...It was scary at first when we went from 1 to 2 because of our fears but honestly the meeting was overall very good and would never ever want to me without them both.

The worst I know that can happen is Cats when distressed will wee inside...:eek:hope that helps your decision. Dianne

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

A small kitten would probably be the least threat to her. She'd still hiss and grumble a bit, most likely, but babies don't tend to get treated like fully grown adult cats, especially by females even when neutered - they trigger a tiny bit of memory/instinct that hasn't quite gone away.

mellymeep

I always wonder this, my cat Lily is different though because she IS queen bee.. she's top of the hierachy in this house and definitely has both me and my husband under her paw. She's been introduced to my parents cats when I go visit them but that went disasterously, they fought and Lily retreated upstairs for the rest of the week, not letting anyone go near her.

I'd absolutely love another one (or two!) but I don't think it'll be possible!

snookey

Iv four female cats two of which were adult when I got them. All my cats have different natures and get on fine. My advice would be to go for an older laid back cat. Iv found that it has a calming influence on a highly strung cat as they tend not to see the older cat as a threat.
Another tip would be to never get involved when and if the cats fight as they are just finding their order in the pack Lots of hiding spaces also help so they each have their own space.
Male cats can become domineering as they mature so thats one thing to bear in mind if you get a male kitten.

Im sure with lots of patience and reassurance she will grow confident. All of mine sleep next to each other now and are best of buddies.

juliebunny

hello, as I was reading your post I was thinking that you need another shy cat, preferably a kitten and then you said you had your eye on a 7 month old shy kitten!

I've got several rescue cats and apart from the odd hissy spat, they all get along fine. I also foster mum cats and kittens. I currently have a VERY timid mum cat and her 4 month old kitten. I don't usually mix my foster cats but I am keeping this mum (who I would describe as feral) and her kitten is up for re-homing but no interest as yet. They get along fine with my cats, I've never had any problems mixing in kittens or very timid cats because they aren't trying to be top of the pecking order- and I think because the kitten aren't sexually mature, they don't see them as a threat.

The only time you really have a problem is if there is physical violence - if I have a new cat and it growls and hisses, then they will settle in eventually. But I've had foster cats (who have escaped from the foster cat room) and physically attacked - then they had to be moved to a new foster home or back to the cat shelter.

easilydistracted

Thankyou all for the advice even if its confused me a bit more (:

This is my greatest fear:

'The only time you really have a problem is if there is physical violence - if I have a new cat and it growls and hisses, then they will settle in eventually. But I've had foster cats (who have escaped from the foster cat room) and physically attacked - then they had to be moved to a new foster home or back to the cat shelter.'

I worry that Bernie might be really aggressive to the little cat till she gets settled in and that the poor little kitten would have to go back. She's had a very long wait already by the looks and I couldn't bear to make her even harder to home. I think if I go for it I'll have to take some time off and keep the cats well apart. Hopefully I can follow some of the other tips and make it work. Any other ideas to prevent physical aggression?

'The worst I know that can happen is Cats when distressed will wee inside...:eek:hope that helps your decision. Dianne'
Hmm I'm sure there wont be a problem - other than I live in a rented house with reclaimed victorian floorboards!

I'm going on holiday on Tuesday and poor Bernie is going to have to go into a cattery for 8 days so I will see if she's in any sort of mental state to be meeting new cat when we get back. We took her to look at it and she sulked for the whole rest of the day. If she's not back to square one and the little cat is still available when we return I think that'll be fate. I think she's been at the cattery a while and is mostly black as well as shy so could wait a while. Hopefully I'll have some news on return.

easilydistracted

Well there has been rather a turn of events since my last post. The cute kitten was re-homed just before we went on holiday, then Bernie's identichip paperwork which had taken me a while to sort out came through with her old details on, turns out she is 7 and a half. So am having a major re-think. Am budgeting for some better quality food for her instead at the mo, may think about another cat a little down the line. Thanks again for all your help

rising_from_the_ashes

Glad the kitten's found a new home - I thought I'd write my own experience in case anyone else is thinking of this.


I had an older rescue cat when I got Mr A (as a kitten) - Mr S was 10 and had always been an only cat apart from when he'd been in the rescue centre (which was someone's house and had about 50 cats - he spent all his time on top of a wardrobe).

They curled up together when Mr A was wee but once he grew up they tended to ignore each other (never fought).

I lived on a farm and there were about 15 cats in the row of houses (and only 2 of them didn't get on) so Mr A grew up surrounded by other cats and loved the company.

Then I lost Mr S and moved house and Mr A was moping around - so I got another .....

Again, when Miss M was wee, they got on fine but I have horrendous problems now. She is a little minx (a tortie with a temper to match) - loves the dog & people but absolutely HATES all other cats (including Mr A).

There have been several fights (thankfully not major injuries) and I had to keep them in separate rooms for 3 months last year which was a total nightmare.

They now tolerate each other (most of the time), he tends to stay upstairs and her downstairs - he's not allowed in the lounge or she goes ballistic. It's always Miss M that starts it - he's so laid back if she left him alone he'd never start on her but when she does, he does stick up for himself.

So, I'd say that some cats are def meant to be "single" cats - Miss M is one, while others like Mr A like the company.

Good luck

missmontana

I love it, I always knew I was a cat in a previous life, reckon I must've been a tortie....

I'm currently fostering a cat, thought I wouldn't have any trouble introducing him to mine, but its not been going well, even tho they are quite happy for the neighbours cats to come in and eat the biscuits out of their bowls, they can't even tolerate the foster kitty being in the same room as them.

So it really is a case of picking the right cat!