No Bridesmaids

danielle1977

Please can I be a bridesmaid. I was only one once when I was a kid.

I got married last year, including my hubby, me and our two kids there were 13 people (and one was the builder at my parents house, he also had christmas dinner there, he's kind of been adopted). I didn't have any bridesmaids, we wanted to keep it small.

After the registry office we went to a pub for dinner and it was great cause everyone got to choose what they wanted for dinner, not limited to 2 or 3 choices.

My mil keeps going on about this big wedding they went to shortly after in a big old house, 100's people etc and how wonderful it was-it sounds like my idea of a nightmare I was stressed enough in front of 12 other people!

Don't be pressured into what others want. I know someone who had the great big wedding, is still paying it off and all the debt and stress caused her and her hubby to get divorced less than 2 years later.

Have it however you want, its your day!

*hellie*

I'm not having any bridesmaids. The main reason is my Mum is walking me down the aisle and helping me get ready so I don't see the point in having them. The other reason is that although I have female friends none are particularly close and I would just be choosing someone for the sake of it which I really don't want!

minerva_windsong

I'm only planning on having my best friend as my bridesmaid when I get married. My sisters will be involved in the wedding somehow, either as witnesses or doing readings, but I'm pretty sure my eldest sister would say no if I asked her to be a bridesmaid (she said no when our other sister got married, I'm not entirely sure why but I think she found it a bit weird being a bridesmaid for her younger sister). Other sister was maid of honour for eldest sister but I don't know if she would also find it odd to be her younger sister's bridesmaid. Similarly, I can't see my boyfriend's sister being a bridesmaid as she wasn't when my boyfriend's brother got married, again because of the younger sibling thing, but she will be involved in some way.

Personally I think you can have as few or as many bridesmaids as you want, including none. Like everyone else said it's your day, do what you want not what you think you're 'supposed' to do because someone else says you should.

White_Sapphire

minerva_windsong wrote: »

I'm only planning on having my best friend as my bridesmaid when I get married. My sisters will be involved in the wedding somehow, either as witnesses or doing readings, but I'm pretty sure my eldest sister would say no if I asked her to be a bridesmaid (she said no when our other sister got married, I'm not entirely sure why but I think she found it a bit weird being a bridesmaid for her younger sister). Other sister was maid of honour for eldest sister but I don't know if she would also find it odd to be her younger sister's bridesmaid. Similarly, I can't see my boyfriend's sister being a bridesmaid as she wasn't when my boyfriend's brother got married, again because of the younger sibling thing, but she will be involved in some way.

Personally I think you can have as few or as many bridesmaids as you want, including none. Like everyone else said it's your day, do what you want not what you think you're 'supposed' to do because someone else says you should.

I'm in a similar situation - my sister is nearly 8 years older than me, and although we get on very well, we just don't have that kind of dynamic in our relationship that would make it feel natural for her to be my bridesmaid. I also get on very well with my SIL2B, but we are not close friends so she won't be asked. They will both be involved in the wedding in some way, but my best friend will be my MOH, and I won't be having any other bridesmaids - no-one else I'd want!

amus

No I dont think its weired at all I also dont have a 'best friend' as such and no sisters. I have neices and nephews but it would cost me a fortune so I decided to get married abroad and not have any bridesmaids. Even if Id got married at home I wouldnt of bothered, no point wasting money on bridesmaids dresses just for the sake of it!!

sharpee

I'm not planning on having any bridesmaids eithe. We're only having a small wedding, don't have any close female friends, sisters etc.

We're having my partners son as a pageboy:T

However my H2B suggested my closest friend (male) could be my man of honour! His theory is that I will want someone close to look after me and keep me calm!:rotfl:

Kittendreich

My brother and SIL didn't have any - they walked each other down the aisle and had each of their sisters as their witnesses, but not BMs. It didn't look odd as it suited them.

Dekazer

I wonder what it is about having bridesmaids/MOHs that matters to people. I've been a BM many times (adult and child) and IMHO it's really hard work being a BM:D !! I think the reasons for having BMs are these:

• To help with preparations before the day (organising the hen, helping with jobs - this is probably the most important bit!).
• To help you get ready in the morning - it's fun having a gaggle of girls around.
• To help during the day (helping you go to the loo in a big frock, doing odd jobs that arise, keeping you calm).
• To walk down the aisle before you (what are they, fluffers?) or behind you.
• To hold your bouquet during the ceremony.
• One of them may be a witness and sign the register with you.
• To look nice in photos.
• To pair up with the best man and ushers for the first dance(bit old fashioned that one ).
• To enable female family members to be included in the day (sitting on the top table, getting presents etc).

If you have alternative solutions to those problems, and other ways of doing things, you go for it - no one will judge you for it.

In my case I don't think I'll have official BMs/MOH. My closest friends are mostly married and many have children, and we don't have many young female relations who need to be included. I don't like the idea of making my pals sit on a top table away from their partners and kids, and I don't particularly want to impose outfits on them. I hope that my female friends and relations will feel included enough through, respectively, being a witness, doing a reading, doing a speech, coming on the hen, being included in preparations and joining me in the morning.

If I call on them for significant help before and on the day, I shall honour them in my speech and get them gifts, but I'm not concerned about appearances or photographs.

Unless any of them complain and I have to buy them frocks after all!!

Good luck deciding, and don't worry what others think, just you concentrate on what you and your fiance care about

CherryPerry

I'm another thats not having any! A good friend of mine didnt have any at her wedding a few years ago and at first I thought it was a bit odd, but on the day worked absolutely fine.