moving house travel and school ?

londonirish_3

Afternoon everyone, I have a dilemma and am hoping someone may be able to offer some advice as I cant seem to work out what to do.

I am hoping to move to the city soon as this is where I will be at uni and work, however my daughter is at secondar school here and doesnt want to leave.

She has the option of starting a new school or getting the train to the school she is currently at. This worries me but I wonder if I am babying her. she is 14 at christmas, and is a sensible girl bt I admit I panic about her getting on the right trains, getting in the right compartment, being stranded , being stranded on a train in snow like we had in dec. (obviously we will do the route, but she is a quiet girl and i worry she wont ask for help if she needs it, i saw a teenager crying because she was in the wrong compartment, hence this sticking in my mind)

I am worried as I dont drive I wouldnt be able to get to her if something like this happened.

Or I could insist she starts a new school ten mnites from where I am at uni and work and thus none of the above problems would arise.

I feel evil for making this move but it really will make work/uni so mch easier and I will be around £350 a month better off in the new place.

I worry she will not make friends as its year8 and they will already have their friends. I hated school and I know this is wh I am worried sick but it is starting to make me ill.

thanks all x

Becles

My sons go to school 12 miles away. They get a school bus usually but if they stay for after school activities, they have to get the public bus home. It's a bus from outside school to our nearest town, then a short walk to catch a bus up to our village.

They have a small card each with the relevant bus numbers and times on and before they started I showed them the bus stop they needed to use outside school.

Then we went to the town. The bus stops on the high street, so I made they know where to get off the bus. We walked down to the market place and I showed them the stop to get the bus home.

They've both managed fine from age 11.

Go through the journey with her a few times and I'm sure she'll be fine.

Has she had a look around the nearby school? If you take her for a visit she might decide she likes it after all.

Tish_P

How long would her commute be?
A sensible 14 year old should be able to manage a short train journey. I'd be more worried about the effect of a long commute on her studies, as it can really eat into your free time. Of course if it's possible for her to work or read on the train that might not be such a concern.

Spendless

I have a 10 nearly 11yo to start Secondary school in September. I have every intention once it gets nearer to him starting to have trial runs with him using public transport alone, both bus,and train. I would do the same with your DD.

Can you explain more what you mean by 'the wrong compartment'. To me there is only the difference between 1st and standard class on a train and you'd know if you were in 1st class, the seats look posher-lol.

tanith

I think a 14yr old would be perfectly capable of doing a train journey once they have had a trial run with you.. most kids I know have to travel on the tube and/or bus from age 11/12 to school here in London so its thousands of kids doing this every day from much younger than 14. I do think you are putting your own fears/apprehension onto your daughter, if she is happy with it then so should you be and glad that she't turning into a confidant and independent person.. she may even find a friend to travel with if only you let her

onlyroz

How far are you talking about, and how long would the journey be? Would it involve changing trains/buses etc? What would the travel costs be?

skylight

Firstly, have you checked with the LEA of the area to see if they potentially have a place for your daughter? Around here, there simply wouldn't be a spare place so that would simply stop any arguements/issues surrounding a change of school anyway!

I agree with the poster that suggested a visit to the new school; if there is a place available a good look around would help. Plus be Mum and have a chat with the school before the visit and explain your wishes but your DD is not keen, so could they make the visit great?! And the surrounding area to show her the shops for lunchtime etc! Point out the good looking boys.......

Yr 8 - she will make friends. Kids and teens make them incredibly quickly. Check out local clubs in the new area too as there could be teens at the school that attend different clubs. Would Army or Sea cadets be of interest? St Johns Ambulance or anything???

We are moving to the other side of town and my 16yo DD is not too happy, but there is a different cadet group very close to the new house and that clinched the deal!! (Not that she had much of a choice!)


And if all else fails, she is old enough to get a train on her own. You can go through the trip with her a few times and chuck in some "what ifs". I think you will be pleasantly surprised in what she can/will do!

soupdragon10

Does she have a mobile phone? If she does then she can easily make contact in the event of disruption/snow etc etc.

I used to do a train commute and found the time useful to do reading etc. but less useful for written notes etc due to the motion.

If the new school is a non starter then the train may be the best solution.

londonirish_3

thanks everyone for each reply, I appreciate it.
the commute will be 26 minutes. when I say get in the wrong comartment, the train that she will get splits up half way throgh the journey, you have to check the screen to see which coaches to get in , first 4 or last 4, it changes too.
I of course will do a few run throughs with her on the train, but I think I am just worried about not physically being able to get her/her to get home if something like snow happens, silly really but its really worrying me. my daughter is unfazed lol. I will be paying about £18 per week travel thats ok though. she will need to leave the house at 7.40am, but I have been told by my friend friend that her children are at the bus stop waiting for the coach at this time . so she will not be the only one getting up earl iyswim. our new place is a stones throw from the station too.

we will look round the new school, which hhas an excellent reputation, and a waiting list, so she probably will need to continue where she is anyway.

she has a mobile and I am going to find somoeon I trust that she can go to in the event of snow/disaster etc.

Yes I do worry about her probably too mch??, I panic alot but my own mother let me run wild and didnt have a clue about what happened to me, as long as I was out of the way thats all that mattered,

I have spoken with my daughter and she is confident she will be ok, so I am going to make sre we take a few shopping trips there so she can tell me how she looks up the right compartment, and I will be throwing in a lot of what ifs!

I will also get her a card for emergencies so she can get a taxi or whatever if an emergency hapens. she is sensible and I dont expect her to come home with a bag full of shopping and no emergency fund lol.

also I know loads of kids get the train tbe etc bt alot of them I see are gobby mouthy rude little sh£ts!!! but again I am probably putting my own fears to light here from my school memories.

onlyroz

Well I think a teenager should definitely be able to cope with a 26 min train journey, and a 7:40 AM start is hardly the middle of the night. When I was at school I had to leave at around 7:50, and school was a 30 min bus ride away. My suggestion would be to keep her where she is for the moment but both of you go and have a look round the new school. If you like the new school and it has good Ofsted reports etc then you could get her on the waitinglist and see what happens.

If she was 15 or 16 with GCSEs imminent then I'd definitely say keep her where she is, but year 8 is early enough in her education for switching school not to matter so much.

Savvy_Sue

londonirish wrote: »

also I know loads of kids get the train tbe etc bt alot of them I see are gobby mouthy rude little sh£ts!!! but again I am probably putting my own fears to light here from my school memories.

I think you will find there are a few of these in all secondary schools. What you have to remember is that secondary schools are full of teenagers, pushing boundaries and generally being obnoxious at least some of the time. The mouthy ones draw attention to themselves in public, but generally they are outnumbered by the charming and delightful. Oh, and the grunters. Of course the grunters are charming and delightful to everyone else's parents, they only grunt at home ...