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Unmarried Rights

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Comments

  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,531 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    LydiaJ wrote: »
    Child maintenance, yes. But divorcees can claim spousal maintenance for themselves too, and ex-cohabitees can't. If my divorce had gone through, I'd have got child maintenance for my kids, and some spousal maintenance for myself as well, in recognition of the fact that I was only working 65% of full time in order to spend more time bringing up the children.
    Thats exactly what I would try to avoid if I was a bloke. This world becoming mad. I understand why your husband maintains you while you live together but why on earth should he mantain you once you parted your own ways.
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,531 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    toby3000 wrote: »
    Seems very sensible to me. Especially since lots of people seem to believe that common-law marriages exist under UK law.

    If I was going to move in with someone and they asked me to sign a contract I'd probably reconsider, since it probably shows they're a money-grabbing !!!!!!! who would try to screw me over and think the I'm the same.
    It shows that you would have tried to screw them over, otherwise you would not mind to sign a contract.:D
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • LydiaJ
    LydiaJ Posts: 8,083 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    justme111 wrote: »
    Thats exactly what I would try to avoid if I was a bloke. This world becoming mad. I understand why your husband maintains you while you live together but why on earth should he mantain you once you parted your own ways.

    Because caring for our children makes a serious dent in my earning capacity and didn't affect his. I certainly wouldn't have expected or wanted any spousal maintenance otherwise.

    He was only going to pay any significant amount of spousal maintenance until the youngest was 12, after which I was supposed to be able to increase to longer hours without getting clobbered by massive childcare fees.
    Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
    Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
    Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
    :)
  • ILW
    ILW Posts: 18,333 Forumite
    LydiaJ wrote: »
    Because caring for our children makes a serious dent in my earning capacity and didn't affect his. I certainly wouldn't have expected or wanted any spousal maintenance otherwise.

    He was only going to pay any significant amount of spousal maintenance until the youngest was 12, after which I was supposed to be able to increase to longer hours without getting clobbered by massive childcare fees.

    Surely that is a choice you decided to make.
  • paddedjohn
    paddedjohn Posts: 7,512 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture
    ILW wrote: »
    Have to agree.

    I saw a woman smoking a cigarette in the street the other day. No wonder the country is in the state it is.

    I'd wager a guinea she was without a chaperone. The country is going to the dogs, they will be wanting the vote next if we're not careful.:rotfl:
    Be Alert..........Britain needs lerts.
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    ILW wrote: »
    Surely that is a choice you decided to make.

    A choice maybe both of them decided to make?
  • ILW
    ILW Posts: 18,333 Forumite
    paddedjohn wrote: »
    I'd wager a guinea she was without a chaperone. The country is going to the dogs, they will be wanting the vote next if we're not careful.:rotfl:

    Most women would give up the vote for a new handbag (a nice one).
  • ninky_2
    ninky_2 Posts: 5,872 Forumite
    This worries me immensely.

    I work very hard for a living; I'm well paid and I do the job I do for my future. I'm currently waiting on the result of an interview that would mean a few grand more a year, but much more responsibility and stress. I certainly didn't apply because I thought I would enjoy the job. I want it to have an even more comfortable future.
    My girlfriend, who practically lives with me, earns half as much as I do, doing a job she loves. She could earn more elsewhere but does the job for enjoyment, not money.

    In my view, under these proposals, if she moved in with me, after a few years she'd be entitled to my money. Money that, for five days a week, for years and years, I have worked my !!! off for. How is that fair?

    When I get married, I will happily have the majority of my salary paid in to a joint account as we would be a team. It would then be 'our money'. Marriage would be a sign of my commitment; until that point, what's mine is mine, and what's hers is hers.

    (I do like to treat her occasionally and don't resent that she earns less than me at all! I'm really happy that she loves her job and wish I could have my dream job of working in an independant hifi shop but taking a pay cut of thousands a year won't bode well for my future.)

    but presumably you are happy to have sex with her, let her clean the home, wash clothes and generally enrich your life? whilst she is with you she is also prevented from meeting and marrying a richer person who might provide her with more. if you are really worried about it i suggest you only have cohabiting relationships with people of a similar earning level and asset ownership as yourself.
    Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves. - Lord Byron
  • ninky_2
    ninky_2 Posts: 5,872 Forumite
    ILW wrote: »
    Most women would give up the vote for a new handbag (a nice one).


    and most men would give it up for a bj (a good one).
    Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves. - Lord Byron
  • ILW
    ILW Posts: 18,333 Forumite
    ninky wrote: »
    and most men would give it up for a bj (a good one).

    I would....
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