Big or small, what's your favourite kind of house?

avenida

harrup wrote: »

Am I still looking for my "dream house"? Sure I am! The pivotal difference is I no longer think my level of happiness is intertwined and determined by it.

Harrup, how did you finally settle yourself? Was it just because you realised you could have holidays you wants, cars and no mortgage?
I'm finding it difficult, and yes if we moved we couldn't go on holiday but still have a huge desire to move, thing is I'm really stuck as everything is so expensive where I live, thinking maybe doing up the house might help

Gwhiz

harrup wrote: »

What a fun, interesting question - thanks for asking it EltonJohnfan!

To me a house has to FEEL right. A difficult thing to quantify but it really isn't determined by the look or size.

When I was younger I really yearned for one of those pretty "Country living" type of houses. Not a swanky mansion, mind you, just a really pretty house ( detached, 4 beds!) surrounded by a pretty garden ( 1/2 acre).

Oh and, of course, this visual delight had to be exactly WHERE I wanted it to be ( close to town but with great adjacent country walks right on the doorstep).

Totally within our reach - IF we would have been prepared to compromise on our things. Time spent with family, dogs, friends. Travelling abroad. Going out. And most importantly - having a high mortgage.

So we didn't. For many years I thought we made a BIG mistake not going larger, better. Now I cherish my rather ordinary, un-posh house. My neighbours are lovely, the neighbourhood is a safe one, we have no mortgage , a great life style and plenty of savings. The trade-off for living smaller is that, in our case, we can live better. I can furnish and equip my home exactly how I like it without having to worry about the cost. OH can drive a car he likes rather than the most economical one.

And best of all - my house feels like a big, comforting hug to come home to. It's warm and cosy and comfortable and - at least on the inside !- exactly what I wanted.

Houses are tricky beasts - too many things which can elevate or ruin them for you. Lovely neighbours, crappy neighbours, incessantly barking dogs, too crowded or too isolated - we had friends moving to their "rural dream home" a few years ago and they couldn't wait to move back to a more populated place. She said she felt "buried alive". Totally knew where she was coming from and it was the most beautiful house I had ever seen. A house that feels too cramped can feel as wrong as one where one rattles about in.

It's all about "the feel "! Hence to me - if you feel comfortable and happy in your home and surroundings you've got it exactly right. No matter whether the house is big or small, postcard pretty or totally average looking.

Am I still looking for my "dream house"? Sure I am! The pivotal difference is I no longer think my level of happiness is intertwined and determined by it.

Absolutely right!

Hermia

I would want a house that is just big enough. I don't want to feel cramped and would love a room for my sewing stuff etc, but I don't want loads of rooms. I want somewhere low maintenance. No way do I want to have to clean rooms I only use occasionally or mow an enormous lawn. I definitely don't want the council tax and electricity bills associated with a large property either.

I know a few people who are obsessed with eventually getting the biggest house they can afford as they see it as a sign of success, but I wonder what they will do with it. None of them have loads of family or friends who wills stay over or hobbies that require lots of room.

Gwhiz

avenida wrote: »

Harrup, how did you finally settle yourself? Was it just because you realised you could have holidays you wants, cars and no mortgage?
I'm finding it difficult, and yes if we moved we couldn't go on holiday but still have a huge desire to move, thing is I'm really stuck as everything is so expensive where I live, thinking maybe doing up the house might help

I'm in the process of deciding to move from a very expensive area (Poole, Dorset) to a more moderate one simply to enjoy life more.

A lovely house is nothing more than that, lovely. It will not ease your stress or improve your life if it pevents you from doing all those things in life that make you happy!

avenida

Gwhiz wrote: »

I'm in the process of deciding to move from a very expensive area (Poole, Dorset) to a more moderate one simply to enjoy life more.

A lovely house is nothing more than that, lovely. It will not ease your stress or improve your life if it pevents you from doing all those things in life that make you happy!

Its hard to do a u-turn when Ive craved to move for so long, but I just wanted a bigger living room and bedrooms and perhaps a bigger bathroom with a walk in shower however will have to make do, as you say at the end of it all it would stop me doing the things that make me happy like holidays etc

Thanks for your input much appreciated:D

harrup

avenida wrote: »

Harrup, how did you finally settle yourself? Was it just because you realised you could have holidays you wants, cars and no mortgage?
I'm finding it difficult, and yes if we moved we couldn't go on holiday but still have a huge desire to move, thing is I'm really stuck as everything is so expensive where I live, thinking maybe doing up the house might help

No, it wasn't like that.

Boring as it sounds I suppose it was just a combo of "counting your blessings" and the observation that the people we knew living in the lovliest of houses truly weren't the happiest ones.

That isn't to say that people in gorgeous houses can't be happy! I'm sure that many are. But I've seen so many people's happiness diminished or destroyed by an unhappy relationship, financial worries, a loss of a loved one...and their gorgeous house was no comfort. What use is a dream house if you are heart broken? Or if you always have to worry that you might loose the very roof over your head if you are stretching yourself?

I guess the most important realisation I made - in my case this was later rather than sooner - was that more often than not , sometimes the best part of a "dream house", "dream car", "dream holiday", " dream outfit".... or whatever else I covetted ....was the DREAM of it. Once we have it, it's JUST a car or holiday or whatnot. The actualisation of most dreams is frequently a huge letdown. Know what I mean? I suppose we all know the "this was so much better in my head" kind of feeling.

I still get itchy feet. Frequently! But I don't feel malcontented anymore. I appreciate what I have despite its limitations.If something better comes along - fabulous. If not - also groovy.

My only advice - make your current home as comfortable for you as you possibly can. Doesn't have to cost the earth either.

The ONE thing I truly, deeply regret in hindsight is that I didn't do just that MUCH sooner than I did. I was so determined and posesssed by "oh, it's not worth it - I just want to move" that for some years I neglected to maximise what I already had rather than to stubbornly focus on something that I didn't. What an idiot!

avenida

harrup wrote: »

No, it wasn't like that.

My only advice - make your current home as comfortable for you as you possibly can. Doesn't have to cost the earth either.

The ONE thing I truly, deeply regret in hindsight is that I didn't do just that MUCH sooner than I did. I was so determined and posesssed by "oh, it's not worth it - I just want to move" that for some years I neglected to maximise what I already had rather than to stubbornly focus on something that I didn't. What an idiot!

Thanks harrup!!!!

I was like that too, I had put off for so long getting spindles in my house, as b4 I had horrid 1970's rails and what a difference it makes with spindles, have a long list of other things that I would like to do e.g. new bathroom but will have to wait, as we have a holiday to pay for.

Thanks for your advice, a bit of keeping up with the jones is creeping in too, all my friends have big fancy houses! Will keep myself grounded and thank my lucky stars I live in a nice neighbourhood, close to school and work in a detached house

mojoman

When our children were small we had a seven bedroomed house(6 children) with a very large garden and an enormous stone outhouse used for storage and as a playhouse.As they started to leave home we gradually down sized.First to a 4 bedroomed,then 3, then2.We now live in a brand new 2 bedroomed flat almost in the town centre.Very easy to heat and to keep clean,low(ish)council tax and for the first time in our lives we actually have spare money,which is something I never dreamed would happen.

Gwhiz

avenida wrote: »

Its hard to do a u-turn when Ive craved to move for so long, but I just wanted a bigger living room and bedrooms and perhaps a bigger bathroom with a walk in shower however will have to make do, as you say at the end of it all it would stop me doing the things that make me happy like holidays etc

Thanks for your input much appreciated:D

Just be careful not to get caught in the trap of always wanting bigger! If you get there then you will never be happy.

Brallaqueen

With my wage and no Mr.BQ on the horizon, my dream is house is exactly that- just a dream.
However I am happy in my little two bed flat, it is quiet, in a safe area and I am slowly putting my mark on it.