Terrified and don't know where to start

Merrylegs1969

I'm going to go off on a bit of a tangent here but, I was watching a programme through the week about Nicholas Winton (the British Schindler) and it told the stories of some of the children he saved. One lady described her last memory of her father running behind the plane trying to take a photo of it as she was being brought to England. She, like almost all the others, lost her parents to the death camps. My tears flowed freely at the horror they faced.

What a lot of us consider to be disaster really isn't, it is infinitely sort outable, it's all a matter of how we see things. Take a deep breath and wade in, talk to everybody, be reasonable but put your family's needs first. Above all, do not allow yourself to be browbeaten and keep things in perspective. You have each other and that is really what counts. You'll come through this.

chevalier

hope you find the strength today to make a start
chev

tallyhoh

Your husband should take sick leave from work due to stress. Best not to just leave, it would be more difficult to find a job. Things may look different or he may feel a lot better after a few weeks off.

[Deleted User]

Hi,

As said by the previous poster (tallyhoh) your husband needs to see his doctor and get signed off sick from work rather than quitting his job directly. If you go over to the benifits board you will get clearer and better advice by more knowedgeable people but I think than even job seekers allowance would be postponed if you choose to leave your job - but seek clarification on this from those more knowldgeable on the benifits board.

Whilst he is off sick he needs then to re-consider his options - what work he would find less stressful, which employers are recruiting in your area etc

Also, fill out and post a Statement Of Affairs: http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html to find out exactly where you stand financially, and then take it from there.

Hope that helps

RAS

silverapple wrote: »

We have always made our payments, but my husband is about to leave his job (or will suffer a nervous breakdown), which will leave us completely unable to pay our creditors. We hope that he will get another job, though probably less money as he is unable to cope with the stress of his present level.

silverapple

Please do not allow your husband to just leave a job. Even if you is eligible for contribution based JSA, it would be sanctioned, for up to 6 months (not paid). He might get a hardship allowance instead 60 percent of JSA) but that is not guaranteed.

It might be better to get signed off sick and then if he loses his job, he might be able to get JSA without a problem.

silverapple

Have just spoken to the cccs, they were very calming and I feel slightly better. I just can't believe we are in this situation!

Thanks again everyone.

tilly2484

Best of luck. I was/am in a similiar situation. I was the main bread winner bringing in £37k a year but there were a lot of problems at work and had a nervous breakdown and left.

I paniced about how we would cope but we did and now i have just started a job- £15k less but i'm happier.

I used CCCS and they have been great. bascially We have only been paying £1 a month to creditors as priority payments have to come 1st. I'm now having to deal with collection companies but it's not been as bad as i thought it was. You have to remian firm with them- they cannot take from you- unless it's a secured debt.

Now i'm working again we are re-looking at our plan and going to talk to CCCS again to work out a debt repayment, i won't be able to pay what I was before as my salary is a lot lower but it's better than nothing.

xx

mkaibear

silverapple wrote: »

Thank you, half the problem is that we don't know what will happen with his job. We had decided to tackle this issue for good this year and now this...it all feels like too much:(

I'm sitting here desperately trying not to cry in front of the children. They are blissfully unaware that I am about to ruin their childhood.

Don't know if it helps, but my wife's family went through something different when she was young... (she might be reading this - uh, when she was *younger*)

Her Dad got made redundant and they had all sorts of financial problems for 8 months until he managed to find a new job.

She says it was the best time of her childhood because her Dad was around all the time.

gratefulforhelp_2

dollybeads wrote: »

regarding your situation, is there any option for your husband to take some sickness leave as break from work? I appreciate the situation may be beyond this point, but if he is feeling desperately stressed his GP could give him some time out from work, which might give you some breathing space, as he (should) receive sick pay? But also give him some support either medically or via talking therapies.

This would be a much better option to buy you both some time. Is he in a union, and if so can they help?

silverapple wrote: »

I'm sitting here desperately trying not to cry in front of the children. They are blissfully unaware that I am about to ruin their childhood.

No you are not, put that thought away for good, right now.

chrissie52

Silverapple

we are a bit long in the tooth to have to start again (37&47)

I don't post often but just wanted to offer support and say you aren't long in the tooth, I had to start all over again at your age ( my partner spent what we had and then some! So i ended up divorced and in debt with a son to care for) I'm just about to pay off my mortgage and I have no debts. I don't pretend it's been easy, but just wanted to say you can pull yourselves out of the pit. Your children will also benefit from having parents that are not stressed out all the time!

Which ever way you decide to tackle you situation sending you good wishes and kind regards.