Adjusting, Husband Coming Home

Thumper7

My husband is due home from Afghanistan next week. It was difficult when he first went, being on my own but I have adjusted quite well and have got quite used to him not being here.

I want him home desperately, but at the same time, I'm apprehensive. Has anyone else suffered this.

Fergie76

Just remember to move all Winston's stuff out, before he comes home!

martinbuckley

https://www.keepithush.co.uk/offerdetails.aspx?urn=1970

£1 for a room at certain DeVere hotels for returning servicemen.

BAILEYS6904

OP, its more than normal to feel like this!! You have spent the best of 6 (ish?) months apart, have built your own life, your own routine, and got used to being on your own. Doesnt mean you dont love him, dont want him back, or anything as serious as that, just know thats its going to be 'different'.

ITS COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!!!!

It'll probably be alot easier than you think its going to be. Its purely a case of getting 'used' to each other again.

When they come back from the Sandy Place, its a lot for them to get used to, and vice versa. He'll be aware of it as well. Just take it easy, make the most of him being home, and you'll soon 'fall' back into things ok.

Support our Soldiers is a registered forces charity that look after the troops and their families, but they also have a forum and chatroom, where most of the members are either Other Halves or some parents of serving members, and so have either been through a tour, or going through it now.

HTH xx

Thumper7

BAILEYS6904 wrote: »

OP, its more than normal to feel like this!! You have spent the best of 6 (ish?) months apart, have built your own life, your own routine, and got used to being on your own. Doesnt mean you dont love him, dont want him back, or anything as serious as that, just know thats its going to be 'different'.

ITS COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!!!!

It'll probably be alot easier than you think its going to be. Its purely a case of getting 'used' to each other again.

When they come back from the Sandy Place, its a lot for them to get used to, and vice versa. He'll be aware of it as well. Just take it easy, make the most of him being home, and you'll soon 'fall' back into things ok.

Support our Soldiers is a registered forces charity that look after the troops and their families, but they also have a forum and chatroom, where most of the members are either Other Halves or some parents of serving members, and so have either been through a tour, or going through it now.

HTH xx

thank you, I should have realised that every one goes through this.

I am not with the regiment so for the last 6 months, i have been totally on my own, sorry my friends and family have visited 3 times. I have got so used to being on my own.

jungliemac

Know what you mean. It's a bit awkward at first but after a few days I'm sure you will get used to it again. It's hard for them as well so just take it slowly. We have 3 children who are very excited when OH comes home and he finds it a bit overwhelming with the noise etc. It's so exciting and I hope you have the most wonderful time. xx

AFF_company_representative

Try this link to the De Vere hotels offer - This one includes the invitation code: http://www.aff.org.uk/linkedfiles/aff/20100526-welcome_home_for_heroes-u.pdf

Esoog

AFF_company_representative wrote: »

Try this link to the De Vere hotels offer - This one includes the invitation code: http://www.aff.org.uk/linkedfiles/aff/20100526-welcome_home_for_heroes-u.pdf

Sorts of defeats the point of "keep it hush", perhaps a PM might have been better?

13Kent

It is difficult getting used to having someone else around again, leaving things around, moving things that you left in a certain place - silly things like that can cause tension, but just expect that it will happen and be prepared for it! When my OH comes home within minutes it's like he's never been away, and then the bickering starts!!!

But it's so nice to have him home, to share the responsibility of the children, to help out with household things, to talk to/argue with!! And most of all to make a cuppa for me whilst I stay sat down - it's a real treat to have someone make you a cuppa when you've had to do it yourself for 6 months!! Don't worry - as soon as you see him it will be fine!!

Take advantage of his leave and have a break somewhere neutral as you have been the boss of the house for so long and enjoy!!

birduk

Exactly what Baileys said!

Take some time to go somewhere else where the two of you aren't in 'your territory'. I found it too difficult to adjust after my OH came back and I wasn't the only one. Some really really strong marriages suffered too.

It may seem like a strange suggestion- but maybe he can find time to go and visit some of his family/stay somewhere else for a bit, so you can get used to it gradually, after all you didn't move in together straight away when you were first seeing each other.

Most of all, I know you are busy (if you are anything like me, you will have filled up your time with activities to combat the loneliness) but MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER. Go out together, have dates and have fun together.

Lots of love!

dbt3mummy

It really doesn't take long to fall back into step - regardless of how long he has been away.
DH now does short stints in Afghan and they are still really hard when he goes and takes us a while to get back in step.

When he left for Iraq he left at a really bad time, not long been married, me being 100's of miles from family and knowing no-one etc etc. When he eventually got back it was a struggle for the first month or so but it got easier and he learnt to adjust into my new routines.

It is a lot harder now we have a family but we're always so relieved when he gets home.