need some advice

Redrose

I want a divorice (sp) my soon to be ex husband as been seeing someone for a few months now, but he promised me its was over, well tonight his mobile was on charge, and it went off, it was a text from this other person, i want to end the marriage now, i can not take anymore lies...

Where do i stand, i can not take anymore of this

flossy_splodge

That's tough! Suggest you take a deep breath and think through carefully. What do you want to achieve? If you are sure this is the end of the line for your marriage then URGENTLY seek out professional advice. Most solicitors give you the first half hour for free. This is really important as you need to feel they will work for you in the way YOU want. This may seem obvious but I tried 3 solicitors before finding one that I felt would fight my corner without being unreasonable. If I want to live my life with integrity then I want my solicitor to act that way too. Doesn't matter whether the other half works that way - you have to live with YOU at the end of the day. Just please please please don't separate and then just leave doing the legal bit. That way leads to disaster. If you've made your mind up do it steadily and with professional help. One day you'll look back and it won't hurt so much. Honest. Sending you strength and support. Good luck. You're not alone.:o

needaspirin

If there are children involved. If there is property involved. You should see a solicitor as flossy advised. Before making such a decision, however, sleep on it and talk it over with him. How about family mediation? Check with CAB for your options. xx

Redrose

Thanks for the advice, i really think my kids are as sick as i am of all this i say kids, but they are 19 and 17. And as for talking, hes made promises after promises. I really don;t think i can trust him again.... this was hes last and final chance. There is property involved, but he says and can stay in the house until iam ready to sell it. we have talked about this before. The sad thing is i just phoned her, and she says she doesn;t want anything to do with him. she is happy in a relationship.....

sorry can not write anymore, crying but i think its for the last time

RoCas

I feel for you, Redrose. Sorry I have no practical advice but wanted to send you a (((((hug)))))

Rachie_B

(((hugs))) i am so sorry redrose

needaspirin

I'm so sorry too. x

Motherof1

Redrose I really feel for you. My husband lied to me about affairs he had. We have been in a troubled marraige for over 2 years. I have a little girl involved in all this. I think men just don't realise the impact these sort of actions have on us and our children. We are seperating this weekend as the lies, put downs etc were just to much. This is very traumatic and I have had to be on anti-depressants and still carry on with life like everything is normal!

If you are able speak so someone about this. Don't be alone.

Big HUG for you.

needaspirin

I keep coming back to this post to see how you are. I see you haven't posted anywhere else since this.
I hope that you are all right.
Please take care.

WelshWoofer

I've just been through a very similar situation with my OH. It's the hardest thing to have to cope with.
I have no advice really apart from don't keep it bottled up - talk to someone, friends, family or us on here.
Take care and try to keep in mind that things will get better eventually - it won't feel like it now but it does improve with time whatever you decide to do.

Good luck
Rachel.

Crazychik

Sending you ((((( ))))) - you need plenty.
Hope you are ok.
Live life as normal, carry on as normal, dont let it eat you away, in the meantime, seek legal advice. Yu have proof on the phone - via text, what about adultry? The local courts offer a D.I.Y divorce, usually happens within in 4weeks, not sure of cost, as this was about 10yrs ago when my mum used this. I no its much cheaper than going through the solicitor. But you have property to consider, are you in a position to buy him out? or carry on paying the mortgage? Perhaps you could sell and set up home somewhere else. "your home".
At least the children are at the age to not fight about access etc...
Know your rights before you do anything. But dont let him get you down. You deserve better
Take care - and keep us posted of your progress -