Married, Kids, Common Law, Debts, Death

SandC

Agree with the others, it sound like your mum's partner John was not very good with finances. In essence, your mum did support him throughout this and that is to her credit. What is interesting is that John was paying the entire mortgage for at least 25 years - did he actually extend the length of the mortgage since taking it out? Did he split up with his ex almost immediately after buying the marital home?

That is not relevant to the points in question but highlights how he has dealt with finances over the years.

It is unfortunate that your mum was so kind hearted to have given her everything to him whilst not receiving the same back, but you have to just let go as she did what she wanted to do. John's children, grown up or not, have played no part in this scenario and shouldn't be made to feel bad that they might have an inheritance.

cgk1

coupleuk wrote: »

Lucy divorced her husband and put her share of the settlement toward the 25+ year co-habiting relationship with John.

There are no longer any assets from the relationship - therefore, Lucys kids will get no inheritance.

However, John didnt divorce his wife until he realised his creditors could claim against his matrimonial home. Once he realised, he got divorced. It took him 25+ years of seperation to get round to it.

Now, his (ex)wife has a house with no mortgage and his kids will stand to inherit the house.

The reason it is "unfair" is that Lucy did the decent thing and her kids will suffer. John didnt and his kids will see the benefit.

As I said, Im not trying to get money as its far too late to be worrying about all that, but Im just trying to get thru a grief process and understand why events happened the way they did.

You can guess that Im one of Lucys kids and I'm questioning whether john actually loved Lucy (mom) at all during their 30 years together.

Well maybe he did but simply buried his head in the sand about what would happen after he was gone. Also maybe like you he thought there was such a thing as a common-law wife?

Bogof_Babe

Maybe he felt guilty for abandoning Jane for Lucy if Jane hadn't done anything "wrong", and salved his conscience by at least making sure she would be provided for. Also if I'm understanding correctly John's own children will receive an inheritance, which is how it should be. He had no blood ties to Lucy's children.

coupleuk

Thanks for the replies all.

Especially "podperson" - your post just about sums it all up perfectly, thanks