Crisis loan when stranded away from home

katygeorge

i sympathise with ma boswell - i have a brother who is exactly the same, hes 28 and me and my family are always having to scrap him of the ground, i always joke that he cant wipe his own bum with out help. but we sat him down about a year ago and told him 'no more' that he had to learn to deal with his own problem and ever since he has only turns to us for advise not to fix his problems for him, and has grown up and become independent and set up his own buissness and everything. i think the problem is when they know somebody else will fix your problem why do it yourself, that way they can sit back and just feel sorry for themselves while your running about for them. atleast that is how i find my brother

Ma_Boswell

Thank you Katy, you are quite right and I'm glad it has worked for your brother. I did something similar to/for one of my boys a couple of years ago ( he was a serial borrower) and he's turning his life around. This friend( he used to work with my mum and became a family friend) has been in London for years, turning up only occasionally so when he decided to move back up here following the break -up with the ex Mum and i rallied round and i got a few friends involved. Once we had helped him find a flat, sorted out furniture ( much Freecycling, attending auctions and kind people giving furniture and time), assisted him with job applications ( a friend coached him for an interview at M & S as she worked there) he decided he couldn't bear to live alone ( he was sleeping on the floor of my mum's sewing room, hogging her computer and disrupting her quiet life) and wanted to "try again" with the ex. It felt like a slap in the face - but you can't live people's lives for them - we talked him out of taking all the stuff down in a van and suggested he "test the water" by going down for christmas - and here we are, a month later... If he comes back ( this may all just be an elaborate excuse) he'll be on his own from now on.

Oldernotwiser

FleurDuLys wrote: »

He did report this to the police, yes? They would have sorted him out and made sure he got home.

On what basis? A vulnerable young person might get some help but why on earth would they help a grown man.

Edit: They obviously didn't.

Ma_Boswell

Hmm Oldernotwiser, you do have a point. I was discussing it with a friend and we agreed that if either one of us was ever stranded anywhere, the other one would come to the rescue- as i did this time last year when my son and his gf were ( genuinely) robbed while travelling in Cambodia. I think he is expecting too much.

dmg24

Would the JCP not be questioning why he is 200 miles from home if he is meant to be jobseeking?

Ma_Boswell

That could be why they wanted him to sign on down there - apparently his claim here is continuing, although i can't quite see how, as he has been away since Dec 23rd - i know there would have been a break over Christmas but he should have signed again by now. I believe you are allowed to go away to look for work - but have to admit i don't know where i heard this.