I want to be an individual!

margaretejenkins

Sorry about long post but I have just had a very distressing interview at local Job Centre. My husband has been supporting me for 2 years as he is on Pension Credit (I am 58 by the way). When we made the claim then we were told I could not sign on for JSA as it would be included in my husband's money. This suited us as I had been ill in hospital and needed the time to recover. We now wish to separate but can't afford the costs of moving house or paying individual rent. We have set the house up as 2 separate households, told the DWP, Council etc and I made a claim. I have a number of interviews and there is a lot of agency work in my field. They called me in for an interview and I find it is almost impossible to be treated as an individual where you have once had a relationship! I have to prove that we do separate laundry, ironing, cooking, cleaning, cat feeding, eating etc. We are not allowed to share friends or go out together, even for shopping. If we do any of this we would be treated as a couple and I would not be able to claim JSA but would have to rely on him to support me EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!!. I pointed out that I had shared a flat in London with my best friend and we shared all the expenses, shopping, did washing together and I was told (WAIT FOR IT) that under those circumstances we would be treated as a couple!! I explained the reasons I couldn't move (JSA doesn't allow for rent in advance, deposit, agency fees, removal costs you get the idea) but this went over their heads. It looks like the only way I will be treated as an individual is if I move out. If I start work all that happens is that my ex will lose all his benefits and I will have to support him EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!! Sorry for the whinge but all I want is to be treated as an individual, go to work, look after myself, not be treated as half of a bad relationship.

If anyone knows anybody who wants a cat loving 58 year old flat mate in mid Devon please let me know ...
:T:T:T:T:T:T

FBaby

How about starting to save money so you can move soon. Surely living in the same house than your ex husband who you want to be separate from is not ideal? Why would you want to do shopping, washing etc.. together anyway? The idea of being a 'couple' is that you share things, and therefore costs, so you don't need a total of two individual revenue.

Costs of moving don't have to be huge. Don't you have friends/family who could help? If you have so much furniture/items that you would need a removal van, how about selling some of these to come up with your deposit/removal costs (which will be less as you will have less).

katygeorge

from what i have learnt today you can get a budgeting loan to pay for moving expenses, if it is a non council property

zagfles

They will always make this hard because you can get so much more in benefits as a single person than as a member of a couple. So this sort of setup will always be looked upon with suspicion.

Whiteknight

On the 23th December you posted the following in another thread -

margaretejenkins wrote: »

We don't spend much as there are only 2 of us, we have no parents, children or siblings. For those of you with big families, would gladly swap and spend the money. Also, being diabetic, don't have any Xmas cake, puds or chocs (but I do a mean low carb choc mousse)


:cool:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/39606764#Comment_39606764


It is quite possible for relationships to breakdown fairly quickly but I hope you can understand why when you have the various interviews with the job centre and they do the living together decision it can be very difficult for people who have been in a relationship to show that they are living separate lives and are not financial dependant on each other.

You don't mention if you have any income yourself at the moment so your husband is supporting you, so not really two separate households as I guess he has to pay the bills and buy the food etc.

What you need to do is move out, ideally get yourself some work and find somewhere cheap to live like a bedsit or similar.

stu12345_2

I got divorced and my solicitor said you can still be classed as seperated living in same house but diff beds to relate to the 2 years min seperation for grounds for divorce,
in my past when i lived with partner the dss said if we share same bed, postal address etc more than 2 mights a week we are a couple.
get them out to ur house to see that their is two beds and bedrooms
yes prove there is 2 beds and it should shut them up
I feel ur an honest person, years ago a married couple seperated i knew,she went homeless, got all individual benefits and a new flat, then went back to her hubby afew nights a week to make up, so be carefull, i do feel for you tho, im in devon btw, but id say prove you sleep seperate or walk out and declare yourself homeless.