Breakdown of Marriage Advice.

activist3

Hello All,
Looking for some advice for my brother if possible. His relationship with his wife has broken down over the space of several years. He has a child from a previous relationship. During the early time in new relationship he cheated on his new girlfriend with his old. Since then he has tried to sort himself out, his girlfriend forgave him, they got married and they now have three children. However as a condition of his marriage my brother was stopped from seeing his daughter from his previous relationship and our mother (because she was still seeing the daughter).
His wife has stopped him from working as she is paranoid that he is going to cheat and controls him by giving him no money to do anything. everyday she threatens to kick him out because she knows he has nowhere else to go. He doesnt want to leave the family as he doesnt want to mess the live up of any more children..(his words). He also doesn't think he would get custody and is worried as the kids are not well looked after if he is not there.

So a few practical queries.
1) They are married but the house tenancy is in her name. Can she kick him out?
2) If they split I am presuming that it is a 50/50 split on possessions because of the marriage....what would happen to things on HP in her name?
3) Would he be able to get local authority/housing association accommodation based on him having the three children as he would like to have at worst shared custody?

Any other advice you can recommend?

Plans_all_plans

I know this won't help now, but the writing was on the wall when she stopped him seeing his own flesh and blood: his other daughter.

I'd advise seeing a solicitor and CAB ASAP so he knows his rights.

activist3

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I know this won't help now, but the writing was on the wall when she stopped him seeing his own flesh and blood: his other daughter.

I'd advise seeing a solicitor and CAB ASAP so he knows his rights.

Yeah he realises that now. His major concern was not to end up with not being able to see the three he has with this wife.

Errata

His wife has stopped him from working as she is paranoid that he is going to cheat and controls him by giving him no money to do anything. everyday she threatens to kick him out because she knows he has nowhere else to go

Reading that ^ ^ it would seem that he needs to contact his local domestic abuse unit and ask for help and support to get his life back on track re accommodation etc.

Imp

Seems like he needs to take himself and his children out of an abusive relationship.

activist3

Imp wrote: »

Seems like he needs to take himself and his children out of an abusive relationship.

Yeah but he worries that he wont get the children and then they wont be looked after well if he is not still in the house.

churchrat

If it is a shared tenancy he has as much right to ask her to leave. But I dont think either has the right to force the other out. He could always contact Shelter, they are very helpful and find out about the half hour free scheme with a local solicitor.

hngrymummy

If he was a woman then there would be plenty of help and advice from women's refuge etc. If the realtionship is abusive from the man, then it would be seen as acceptable for the woman to walk away with the children. It would be nice to think that the same applies when the woman is abusive and the man walks away with the children.

He needs to see a solicitor asap to see what he can do. He needs to start putting things in place - go to see the council about housing for him and the children, see what benefits he's entitled to, get a bank account set up (preferably with paperless bills or bills sent to your address).

If he's not working, then surely he's the primary carer of the children which should go in his favour. If he does leave, he needs to start trying to rebuild his life and his realtionship with his other child. He shouldn't be afraid of seeking some kind of couselling to help.

I really hope that, if what you say is true, he manages to extract himself and his children safely.