Just Treading Water

joeblack066

Usually I try to be a really postive person, and I do have a lot to be thankful for - 4 lovely kids (3 grown up, 1 13), beautiful Grandaughter with another due any day, I have work at the moment, am self employed and may not have any work after March, but I'm fairly sure I'll find something, so not too stressed about it yet. But every so often I find I can only focus on the bad stuff, and it gets me so down that it's a huge effort to drag myself back up again.
- No partner (and I'm really sick of being single)
- Struggle to lose weight as when down I stress eat, have lost a stone and a half in the last year, and a now 13.5st and a size 16 instead of an 18.
- No life, all I do is work and spend time with the family.
- Just feel like I am treading water, waiting for the chance for life to begin properly again.
Then I feel guilty cos I have so much to be thankful for. Any advice as to how to get out of this cycle? Thx.

BitterAndTwisted

Gee I dunno, working and spending time with family sounds like a life to me.

I think you might need to break up your routine and give yourself nice things to look forward to. There's nothing like having a plan to focus the mind.

joeblack066

Thanks B&T, you're right of course, it IS a life, but it's not mine, IYSWIM? I like the thought of breaking up routine, wwill have a look at that.

nzmegs

Being self employed can be isolating so joining a club might be a good idea.

I do find it difficult when people say they are always down in the dumps even when they know their life is perfectly fine. it sound more like a depression problem than an actually problem with your life. if you fail to see the good even when good exists then it may be a chemical issue, rather than something wrong with your lifestyle. See your doctor.

cobbingstones

Well done on losing the weight!!!! :-) Someone special will come along in time when you least expect it but how pro active on this have you been on sorting this out? Internet sites etc Also why not make yourself begin a class in something that would interest you or go for a walk each day? Your children are old enough for you to have time for yourself after all the years you have given them. Enjoy it!

twi1ight

Volunteer work? It doesn't have to be much but can be fun, challenging and rewarding not mention how it helps put things in perspective. I've been volunteering for a couple of hours a week for a few years now. I've made some lovely friends and it forces me out of the house.

Treading water sometimes is nice because it gives you a chance to absorb life as it happens without always looking on to the next thing but it sounds like you may be feeling a bit trapped.

soupdragon10

Why not make a list of things that you have done in the past and enjoyed but not done recently? Could be things you did with family, friends or even on your own. Often bringing up a family puts your own interests at the back of the cupboard, so why not dust off the old interests and see if there's something you could take up again.

I do agree that a chat with your GP might be useful, even if it's to eliminate depression.