2011 Make or break time

the_harrys

I feel the need to start my diary just to try and keep me on the straight and narrow. I don't expect anyone will follow it except me as I am a total MSE-fraud (and can't pretend this could be an inspiration to anyone!!) because just over 2 yrs ago I joined MSE to reduce my credit card debt of 20,000 pounds- I lasted 2 months...

Well according to my calculations today we now have a credit card debt of 41,400 pounds just over double what it was then and my husbands job is no longer secure as his company has just been bought out. I now cannot sleep at night for worry about our debt and know this is make or break time. I work in a very stressful job that I am desperate to escape from but I know it is make or break year to get solvent again.
I am desperate to keep the roof over our head. Looking at our bank statement for December, our outgoings were 13,000 for the month.
Will post later with more details.

the_harrys

The good news is that as soon as our various relatives left after staying over the Christmas period (extremely expensive week) we moved most of our debt onto 0% interest cards- I now have 3500 at 18.5% and the rest at 0% for up to 17 months so although it has cost 1000 pounds in balance transfer fees this month, at least we know that almost all payments will come off the debt instead of go into interest.

One of our major problems is that my sister and family (who live overseas) are very very wealthy and my parents, although I have tried to explain to them, also spend huge amounts of money and expect us to do the same to attend the various family gatherings during the year. Christmas, as I mentioned, cost us a total of 13,000 pounds and earlier in the year we had to spend 5000 pounds to travel to meet up for 2 family occasions and I didn't even really enjoy them knowing the financial implications!

There is another family occasion scheduled for Easter (will be approx. 4000 pounds for me OH and 3 DS/DD) and I am dreading it. Does anyone else have this kind of family pressure by being the "poor" one?

millionaire_in_training

hi and welcome. SOunds like you have hit crunch time. My family are not too bad at pressuring me but my group of friends do it all the time. THey always want to do weekends away but are not prepared to go the cheap route, want to go out and eat in expensive places when I would be happy to cook for us all. I just had to get firm with tham and say I cannot do this and if you want me to be there with you then you need to cool it with the 5* lifestyle. THey forget sometimes but I just remind them . Speak to your mum and let her know that you are worried about all this spending on socialising when your hubby may not have a job and I am sure she will have a solution or at least help you out with making your excuses.

Are you managing all your debts? Can you do any overpayments?

the_harrys

My signature is currently way out of date...just trying to remember how to edit it.

Meanwhile a bit about me. I am 40 something with 3 very cheerful DCs, 1 not always so cheerful OH who works away during the week, which is hard for us all, some chickens, a dog and various other furry/ feathery dependants.

Just need to get some inspiration for how to stay focussed.

jwil

Good luck with the debtbusting the_harrys, to edit your siggie, go to 'user cp' then 'edit signature' on the menu on the left.

the_harrys

Hi M-I-T, at the moment we can manage everything and overpay a bit beyond minimum payments but if OH loses his job we would go under very quickly. I suppose we are in the same situation as lots of others from that point of view, but the (unexpected) takeover happened only very recently and for some reason I did not think it would happen to us.

My parents are lovely but just don't seem to understand the concept of economising as both they and my sister have always done everything 5* (6* actually ..). If I suggest doing something slightly more cheaply (e.g. in the Summer I wanted to miss out a helicopter pleasure flight we all took costing 900 dollars for just me, my OH and DCs) she and my sister say "don't worry about the cost, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity we will sort something out " but then don't mention it again and I feel I cannot then start asking for money. It is incredibly difficult as I look like the skinflint/ stick in the mud who would spoil it for everyone. Our friends are more "normal" and not in the same wealth league thank goodness. I need to be stronger but don't want to hurt my family's feelings by being the one who won't turn up/ join in.

millionaire_in_training

This needs to be sorted before your next time away. Definitely speak to your mum whilst no pressure being put upon you. Tell her your worries and the fact that you want to clear your feet in-case the worst happens job wise. Explain that you are sticking to a job you hate just to keep up with them. It's a hard thing to do and I hated doing it when I had to say but when push came to shove my family came first. Good luck with this. FRom what you are saying you must have a healthy income so should be able to sort this out very quickly and then you can relax a bit.

My friends are lovely but were just being a bit thoughtless. MUch better now

the_harrys

jwil- thanks for the tip- have now edited my signature to reflect the awful truth!
M-I-T- yes need to think carefully about how to tackle my family.

The situation is just crazy and getting worse. My sister complained to me over Christmas that last year I had dared to request that we both keep to a maximum limit of £50 each on our respective DCs (i think this is plenty and I tried to do this tactfully and explain that we were trying to rein in spending a bit and they already had so many things) - the trouble is that money is no object for her and it is quicker/ easier if she spends more and of course the DCs are happy!

She seems to have taken it as an affront to her generosity when I tried to rein things in previously, but if we can't agree to spend similar amounts I feel like the mean Aunty if her DCs get much smaller/ cheaper presents from us (and we all opened them together).
This year I estimate she spent £150-200 on each of my 3 children. I am just being ungrateful?

the_harrys

I have been thinking about this week- I willl tackle some kind of plan to pay off the CCs later but will try to focus on one day at a time at first to stop everything overwhelming me.

Goals:
Stay in credit at the bank (O/D was £11000 !!! in December and we paid this off by switching it on to a 0% CC so determined not to go into the red again). We have £60 cash to last the rest of the month for food but this should be doable really as we still have cupboards full of food from Xmas and should only need milk, bread and some veg.

Claim all outstanding work expenses (should be around £250)

Keep car journeys to absolute minimum to save on fuel.

DCs are taking packed lunches (saves £35 per week).

Stay positive

millionaire_in_training

Wow. What a lot of money to spend on kids for CHristmas. No wonder you feel pressurised. Very difficult for you. Have you popped your CC's into the snowball calculator to see what way is the best to pay back your cards. It will work out one to pay off first to save you money in interest. It will also give you an inkling into when you could expect to be debt free. I love it. It is very motivating. Good luck

the_harrys

Yes- I will try the snowball this evening and see what it says.

I had my first no spend day for quite a while yesterday. I nearly succumbed looking at the mini Boden website- there were quite a few cute things still in the sale but however much they are discounted they still cost more than not buying them at all!

I had to buy DD2 a pair of shoes and a pair of trainers at the weekend. I felt quite guilty as she had been wearing 13.5s (bought in September) and now measures a 2!! I got them both in the sale so the trainers were £17 instead of £39 and the shoes £14 instead of £39- still gets very expensive with 3 DCs. DS got a pair of trainers reduced from £49.99 to £6 (to replace the ones with a hole in them). DD1 got nothing much to her disgust but clothes and shoes will be on a strictly "needs" rather than "wants" basis this year.

Will need to buy milk today and I have some stressy meetings to look forward to at work today so will have to avoid the comfort eating. And creme eggs are on offer at Tesco (£2.90 for 12)....