How can I help my mentalily ill mum get out of this bank charges circle?

emmgem

I don't , I have already taken cheque book away and am giving her the cash weekly, think the doctors/ mental health team are going to have to help me, I can't cope with this much more. Thanks for your help.

Plans_all_plans

Has your mum ever had bank charges refunded previously? If not, ring the bank (saying that you are your mum if you have to) and ask whether they will reverse the charges this time as a gesture of goodwill. If they've never done it before, they are likely to reverse them (in my experience they have done anyway)

Also, how much do they charge per day for going over your authorised o/d limit? If it's more than £5 a day, it would be worth looking into changing banks. Halifax for instance only charge £5 a day.

Oldernotwiser

emmgem wrote: »

I am dealing with it!!! I have been dealing with it for 30 years!!! I only wanted to know if anyone had successfully had any joy from the banks in this sort of situation, so thanks but no thanks for your help.!

I'm sure that you're doing your best but I'm sure that you can see that it isn't working. The financial situation is symptomatic of deeper problems and isn't the problem itself; your mother needs proper professional help as well as your support.

Penny-Pincher!!

emmgem wrote: »

I don't , I have already taken cheque book away and am giving her the cash weekly, think the doctors/ mental health team are going to have to help me, I can't cope with this much more. Thanks for your help.

There is no shame explaining to MH that you can't cope with it all anymore. Like you said, you've dealt with it for 30 years and I'm sure you have your own life to deal with and 30 years is brilliant! Many would have given up ages ago.

Contact MH, explain to them everythiing, let them do an assessment of needs and you can see where it all stands.

PP
xx

laurenjs88

please speak to your local MH or SS. they will try to help. You need to get your mum's permission first to speak to SS but they can come out for a visit and take a look at whats going on. your going to make yourself ill by the sounds of it otherwise x

kazzah60

EmGem
sorry- I don't have any practical help to offer- but just to say i had similar ( though not financial) difficulties with a mother who abused alcohol - and I know how hard it is - you are torn between wanting to walk away but also knowing that if you do, you will just worry more about it
I think you are a good daughter who is only trying her hardest for her Mum - who i am sure has no idea how hard it is for you
I send you my support - i wish I could offer more practical solutions
Karen

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

My brother has fulll access to one of our fathers bank accounts so he can make sure all his DD are paid and he has money for food which I get for him. Like your mother he is also housebound and in an electric wheelchair.

All my brother had to do was for our father to sign a form adding him onto the account so the bank will deal with him if he has to contact them and anything else thats needed. He keeps his bank book, debit card etc at his house as we did find him buying things he didn't need on shopping channels on Sky and my brother ended up bailing him out by £300 a month, simply boredom which we addressed.

So, after my ramble can you not ask mum to sign a form adding you onto her account and then keep hold of the books etc? as this may be the easiest way for you to keep tabs on her money for her.

I_know_my_ABC_and_my_CMYK

emmgem wrote: »

I don't , I have already taken cheque book away and am giving her the cash weekly, think the doctors/ mental health team are going to have to help me, I can't cope with this much more. Thanks for your help.

I'll apologise as I haven't read all the posts but are you an only child or do you have siblings that can help you?

It's an awful lot to shoulder on your own.