Tax credits overpayment to ex-girlfriend of 18 months ago..

carl0s

lorelai34 wrote: »

When you phoned the tax credit helpline did you ask for an explanation of the overpayment? They will give you an explanation of the overpayment and you should then have been asked if you understood why there is an overpayment on the old joint claim. If you understand and accept the explanation then they would expect you to make payments or if you disagree with the overpayment then you can dispute the overpayment in writing by filling in a dispute form.

I have just done exactly that, and the lady seemed a little surprised that it hadn't been explained to me on my previous phone call, but to be fair I did call up with a specific agenda "It's nothing to do with me", and probably didn't give the lady an opportunity to explain.

I asked for an explanation and she said it wasn't clear on the system why an overpayment had been decided upon, and that she was referring it to the officers who would be in touch with me. In the meantime I will be paying £34-ish from 31st of this month.

carl0s

dmg24 wrote: »

You do realise that you are liable for the whole amount if she will not pay towards it.

No. Cheers for that.

What about moving in with a man with children, or indeed moving in with anyone? Any relationship has financial implications.

Well of course, but I was speaking hypothetically from my point of view. It's unlikely that I would be moving in with a man with children.

zagfles

What were your circumstances when you left, and the year before? In terms of income (yours and hers), and kids, childcare etc? First off you need to make sure the overpayment isn't simply a case of them not having the correct information.

For such an overpayment to have arisen there would have had to be a fairly big change in circumstances in the year or so *before* you split.

Sixer

carl0s wrote: »

I'm sorry to say though, the lesson here is that moving in with a girl with children can have unforeseen consequences, unless you go so far as to open up your bank accounts to each other completely, i.e. a joint account. One can't simply move in and take things gradually..

I'm afraid not - at least if you will rely on/need/claim benefits, in any case. Besides which, perhaps homes with children - which is for whose benefit your tax credits were awarded, after all - are better served with stability than they are with parents and partners who just want to dip a toe in some relationship waters without any risks or comebacks, just to see how it goes. Not a criticism of you, just the bigger picture painted, you know?

A lesson learned, Carl! If you want to make a home with someone who has children, it's best all round if you're sure about it before you do it, and do it only if you're in it for the long haul.

carl0s

zagfles wrote: »

What were your circumstances when you left, and the year before? In terms of income (yours and hers), and kids, childcare etc? First off you need to make sure the overpayment isn't simply a case of them not having the correct information.

For such an overpayment to have arisen there would have had to be a fairly big change in circumstances in the year or so *before* you split.

She got a new job that paid ~£5k above the previous one. I made sure she informed them at the right time though. There was a short (2 month maybe) period where she was working as a temp through agencies, which muddied the figures a bit but I'm pretty sure we gave reasonably correct annual figures.
I am paid a small salary plus a dividend so my figures are/were awkward to predict, but my accountant told me what to put as a total.

I wonder if I would be able to go after her in small claims court for "not dividing up fairly, both during and after the relationship" ? I would rather just get on with my life, and have had no contact with her. I have ignored her nasty messages, and she got the point in the end and has left me alone, so I'd prefer to maintain zero contact and move on, but things like this are not helping me towards my target of buying a house this year. Its two weeks into the year and I have had this, and a private parking ticket of £147

zagfles

Sixer wrote: »

I'm afraid not - at least if you will rely on/need/claim benefits, in any case. Besides which, perhaps homes with children - which is for whose benefit your tax credits were awarded, after all - are better served with stability than they are with parents and partners who just want to dip a toe in some relationship waters without any risks or comebacks, just to see how it goes. Not a criticism of you, just the bigger picture painted, you know?

A lesson learned, Carl! If you want to make a home with someone who has children, it's best all round if you're sure about it before you do it, and do it only if you're in it for the long haul.

This sort of thing explains why the UK has more single parent families than every other EU country

halibut2209

If the payments were made between the date you said you had moved in (the date of moving, not the date of actually telling them) and the date you moved out, then you are legally required to pay half. Sadly HMRC have a tendancy to balls up when a partner moves in or out, and overpayments at such times seem to be the norm.

I hope for your sake that both your moving in and moving out were reported within a month of said dates, otherwise you may be liable for more.

On a personal note, I feel sorry for you that you were clearly unable to bond with the children, given your animosity towards them. None of this is their fault, and are probably quite confused and upset in the change in their environment.

Edited to add:

"I wonder if I would be able to go after her in small claims court for "not dividing up fairly, both during and after the relationship""

Don't. Count your losses and move on. It's the children who will suffer if you pursue.

carl0s

Sixer wrote: »

I'm afraid not - at least if you will rely on/need/claim benefits, in any case. Besides which, perhaps homes with children - which is for whose benefit your tax credits were awarded, after all - are better served with stability than they are with parents and partners who just want to dip a toe in some relationship waters without any risks or comebacks, just to see how it goes. Not a criticism of you, just the bigger picture painted, you know?

A lesson learned, Carl! If you want to make a home with someone who has children, it's best all round if you're sure about it before you do it, and do it only if you're in it for the long haul.

I was in it for the long haul, and we were together for 3.5 years, but it became apparent that there were issues. The way she brought up the children irritated me, and she became a psycho nut-case towards the end. Things were great at first, but kids having no set bedtime or homework time. Mum disrespecting school teachers to the child "your teachers a f-ing xxx for setting homework that doesn't make sense" blah blah.

Yes, I picked the wrong one.. but I was pretty dedicated and wouldn't say I was just sticking my toe in.

carl0s

halibut2209 wrote: »

On a personal note, I feel sorry for you that you were clearly unable to bond with the children, given your animosity towards them. None of this is their fault, and are probably quite confused and upset in the change in their environment.

I bonded with the young boy, and felt bad after moving out, especially as he'd just started at the school that I worked hard to get him moved to, (letters, personal referral from the local vicar whose wife was a customer of mine) but what has to be just has to be. The two older girls, well, I found it hard to bond with people whose proud ambitions were to be blonde bimbos.

Sixer

carl0s wrote: »

I was in it for the long haul, and we were together for 3.5 years, but it became apparent that there were issues. The way she brought up the children irritated me, and she became a psycho nut-case towards the end. Things were great at first, but kids having no set bedtime or homework time. Mum disrespecting school teachers to the child "your teachers a f-ing xxx for setting homework that doesn't make sense" blah blah.

Yes, I picked the wrong one.. but I was pretty dedicated and wouldn't say I was just sticking my toe in.

But Carl - in that case, why are you upset about being asked to pay for half of the benefits your family received in error? You had a family which existed for 3.5 years and during that time, your family received help from the government to support the children in that family (Child Tax Credits). There was an error in payments and your family was given too much money. Your family has now broken up and you're being asked to pay back half the extra money your family was given while it existed.

Honestly - I don't see your beef.

I get it you might resent the way your ex-partner spent money, or regret the way you and your ex-partner arranged control over the family's finances while the family existed, but I can't see anything wrong with the benefits system (assuming it's not a mistake and there was an overpayment) - it gave your family money to help you support the children living in it.