How can I help my children who are struggling with school work? Feel like a let down

rinroo

I have two children who are 9 and 5 and they are both struggling at school.

My eldest son (9) has Dyslexia and i've been battling with school for help with him. I've had to provide coloured strips to help his reading and penagin pencils to help him develop his tripod grip, which in turn will help his handwriting. He currently receives speech therapy in school too. Tonight he has come out of school and told me his teacher screwed up his literary work and threw it in the bin and kept him in during his break to re do it. This apparently is the second time this week. I've rang and spoke to the school teacher who said she didn't screw it up but admitted to throwing it away and to keeping him in to redo it as it was a display piece and she said she knew he could write better! I am quickly approaching the end of my tether with her.

My youngest son (5) is apparently struggling in both reading and literacy. I knew he found a few things difficult but not as bad as the teacher has informed me, he does have a bit of a stubborn streak but is happy to learn and do both reading and writing.

I just don't know what to do. I read with them every night without fail, I read to them, i sit and do their homework with them, I feel like i'm failing as a parent and I'm not sure what to do. I feel guilty for working full time as i'm not always there to drop them off and pick them up from school.

I cannot afford private school, home tutors i'm struggling to find. I've tried to get them into a catholic school but as they are not christened and the waiting list for that school is so long, I'm not counting my chickens.

I just wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation and can offer a bit of advise as to how best to help them.

building_with_lego

I don't have much advice for you but I'm devastated that the teacher threw away your son's work. Did he know? (I guess so from what you said) What a blow to his self esteem.

Keep doing what you're doing with them re reading etc; does your LEA run any extra courses? I did one when DD was in reception which taught us parents how the children were taught reading and numeracy so that we could reinforce their learning. Good luck.

Counting_Pennies_2

I would suggest you ask for a meeting with the SEN (The special Needs co-ordinator) for your school, one of the teachers will be assigned this role, and ask to go through the children's needs.

If you are looking for outside help look into Magikats, it is a tutoring group who assess the child's needs and once a week they will go along for small group work.

My son does it and it is helping him no end.

hth

vixarooni

One thing that helped me A LOT when i was younger were two things. First of all, watching countdown and secondly, at night time before bed my mum would put on a tape of someone reading a book and then i would have the book to follow as the person on the tape read it aloud. It really improved my reading and the speed at which i read.

I would go and have a meeting with the head at the school, tell him/her your concerns about your children and how they need some extra help. Mention the teacher screwing up the work, thats hardly installing confidence into your child!

I think you're far from failing as a parent. All you can do is your best, and although your children might be struggling with english, they are probably really good at something else!

Fang_3

I'd kick the teacher in the fanny personally and inform the silly mare that if she did that again I'd be wearing steel toe capped boots and taking a run up the next time.

ManicMum

Take out a formal complaint. People like that should not be teachers.

Don't count on Catholic schools. My daughter goes to one and have found it more of a hindrance and damaging to self esteem. They seem to focus on negative behaviour. Not much emphasis on positivity. Also, they hate any criticism of them - you don't seem to be allowed to disagree. That's just my experience anyway.

Makes my blood boil this sort of discrimination against kids wiht special needs. My DD undergoing assessment for ADHD.

stumpycat

That was really horrible of the teacher to throw out his work!
I would request a meeting with the head teacher and ask exactly how they are supporting your son. I'm not sure whereabouts you are, but if your son has been diagnosed Dyslexic then there should be a plan in place (it can be called different things in different areas) to help him.

Take a list of points with you - and you can include the fact that it only seems to be you who is providing aids; whether your son should be kept in to re-write work and exactly how your son felt when his teacher threw his work out.

If you haven't already used it, this website has a section on how parents can help Dyslexic children - though it sounds as if you're trying and it's the school that needs to read it.
http://www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/about-dyslexia/parents.html

soupdragon10

I would agree that the SENCO should be your first port of call, but in the meantime it might be worth having a look at the SEN code of practise which sets out clearly the help that should be provided in school for children and young people with all kinds of special needs.

http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/sen/sencodeintro/

There is a specific section for parents which can be downloaded as a PDF, so it might be worth looking through this before you go into the school.

I can't understand why your son isn't recieving extra help and support in class, and the teacher quite frankly shouldn't be in the job if she demoralises children by throwing away their work. Displays are far less important than children.

Hope you manage to get something sorted out, do keep us posted with what happens.

Gingham_Ribbon

The SENco is the best person to approach in my opinion, as counting pennies suggests. The teacher has thrown his work in the bin twice this week? That sounds extremely upsetting for him. Does she understand dyslexia?

There are some dyslexia support organisations that look very good. Dyslexia UK I think one is called? Sorry I dont' have time to look it up for you.

And different learning needs aren't anyone's fault. You sound like you're doing all the right things for your children.

pupsicola

The school senco (special educational needs co-ordinator) should be arranging extra help for your 9 year old. There are all kinds of methods that can be applied to help a child with dyslexia develop and improve.

I am a teacher myself and whether a child had dyslexia or not I would never throw a piece of their work in the bin. If something they have done could be improved I would spend time with them and work through it with them. Your sons teacher is behaving in an unproffessional way.

You are doing everything right in regards to helping both your children. The best way to improve their reading and writing skills is to read with them as much as you can. The more they read the quicker they build up a word bank and the kids with the best imaginations and writing skills, steal their ideas from the books they have read.

Get your child to look at the front cover and ask them what they think the story may be about. Read through the book together at first so the story flows. Stop every now and then and recall the story with them so you know they are understanding what is happening and not just listening to/reading the words. Read the same book several times. Let them read more and more by themselves to you as their confidence grows. Get them to predict what may happen in the story next.

This improves their reading skills very quickly and also their writing skills later on as they are learning how writing is constructed.

If I can be of any extra help please feel free to pm me.

kingfisherblue

Your son should have an Individual Education Plan and you should have been invited to see this and agree short term targets for progress. See the class teacher and the Special Needs Co-ordinator (SENCo) about this. You and your son should sign this if you agree with the targgets and timescales, or it should be revised if not. Targets should be clear and specific, they should be achivable in a relatively short space of time (no longer than a term) and they can be non-educational targets relating to your son's needs - so perhaps one relatinfg to his speech therapy may be relevant.

I would also speak to the class teacher about the demoralising effect that she has had on your son when she binned his work. This should not have happened - if it needed to be re-written for display, she should have approached it in a tactful manner. Perhaps it would be possible for any future display work to be either shorter, worked on over a longer period of time, or produced on the computer. I would consider making a formal complaint, especially if she has treated your son so abysmally on other occasions.

Children with dyslexia often do not want to read or write, as they are afraid of failure. It might be worth encouraging your son to choose a book (he's more likely to read it if he chooses it) - joke books are often a good idea. The jokes will drive you mad, but the short and often simple language, combined with the humour, can be a winner for a child who does not usually enjoy reading. Also encourage reading comics, the back of the cereal packet, etc.

Contact the British Dyslexia Association for further support

http://www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/

Finally, don't let this teacher make you doubt your ability and importance as a mum - you're doing a brilliant job and nobody can tell you otherwise!