partner spending out of control - what steps can i take

tenkas10

My partner is going overboard on his overdraft and has no control over his spending. most goes on booze / addictions etc. (i am currently saving up to leave). we have a 3 year old and a joint mortgage in which i put in £30k deposit. I understand if we do sell the property i can't claim the deposit back as mine as he refused to sign any contract to that effect. Anyway, he refuses to consider selling so i can't really access that equity to help leave.

However in the past 2 months he has gone a further £2000 into his overdraft, however our jobs are not also secure. I am worried the bank might call in the overdraft or if he is made redundant he won't be able to make any payments to the overdraft. Also he is in no hurry to stop spending and is beyond reasoning with - am not sure where this overdraft is going to end up.

Will the bank come after the house and what does this mean to the joint mortgage. Will me and my daughter be forced to leave the property?

Does anybody know the answer to these questions? would be very grateful

BitterAndTwisted

I'd kick his backside out and change the ruddy locks. Why are you considering leaving when you have a small child to keep a roof over the head of? If anyone should be going anywhere it's not you and your child.

How much equity do you have in the property? It's not likely that the bank will foreclose on the mortgage to call up the overdraft but it could happen.

tenkas10

Thanks - that's made me feel a bit more at ease re: m/gage and overdraft.

Yes, common sense would say kick him out but i don't think i can afford the house bills on my own. also, given his lack of self-discipline and tendency to be quite a little bit of a bully when drunk - i would be nervous in the house - henceforth fresh start has been my plan:)

We have only been here 2 years so have not much of mortgage has been paid off so hard to be sure about equity given recent economy and falling house prices etc.

BitterAndTwisted

Yes but once you leave you will have rent to pay and still be liable for the mortgage payments. If the lender repossesses they will chase whoever is easiest to find and who has the most money to take it from. By the sounds of it, I doubt that this will be your drink and addicted partner with the runaway overdraft...

If you can get shot of the partner there might be half a chance of getting a lodger in to help towards the mortgage payments.

tasha-debt

I agree, pack his bags and tell him to leave, arrange for a locksmith to come and change all the locks and if you want to add locks to windows etc. It will be much less disruption to stay in your home with your daughter.

Also go on to entitledto.com, when its just your salary you may be entitled to benefits plus your council Tax will reduce by 25% plus your food and utllitie bills.

I would also consult a lawyer re your £30k house deposit...

Mojisola

As he is a co-owner of the house, you should not change the locks. If you do, he is legally entitled to get a locksmith to get him back in the house or, more likely if he's angry, break his way in.

Get some advice about how to handle this properly, eg. a lawyer or CAB.

Pee

You do realy need legal advice. Because you are not married, it is possible that you will have an extra claim to the £30,000. You really need to establish your legal position so that you are fully aware of the disadvantages of moving out and running away, even if you ultimately decide that that is best for you.

elvis86

Did alarm bells not ring when the man that you were buying a house with specifically refused to sign a contract in recognition of the fact that the £30k deposit belonged to you..?:(

KiKi

elvis86 wrote: »

Did alarm bells not ring when the man that you were buying a house with specifically refused to sign a contract in recognition of the fact that the £30k deposit belonged to you..?:(

Why would it? Most people living together with plans to have a family would either have joint finances, or not anticipate this. I wouldn't go into what I expected to be a long-term relationship with kids, get a joint mortgage, and ask my partner to sign a contract that the deposit is mine. It's like a pre-nup, it implies that you expect the relationship to break up at some point, that this isn't forever.

I appreciate that some people do it - and I'm not criticising them. But I don't think that most couples expect to contractually sign what money is theirs before they enter into a long-term relationship where they have a house together and either have a child, or plan to have a child!

Hindsight is great, but most people don't start off house-buying with contracts on who owns what money between them.

KiKi

Jinx

Surely if the OP can prove the deposit she will be able to get it back in the future?

pupsicola

elvis86 wrote: »

Did alarm bells not ring when the man that you were buying a house with specifically refused to sign a contract in recognition of the fact that the £30k deposit belonged to you..?:(

Good point