Frustrated with Boyfriend - should i be?

alipops1986

Please Delete this post.

melancholly

could he have said he was thinking it might be an option and his friends have heard 'i'm definitely moving in'? if you don't believe him then this has nothing to do with living arrangements and is actually about something more fundamental in your relationship.

the important question is do you want him to move in?

romylou_2

Sorry, I agree with melancholly. You've only been with him for 9 months. Do you really want to be moving in with him?? He doesn't sound very reliable.

Tropez

I'm not sure I understand this fully. His rented house is "coming to an end in 5 months"? But the housemates are talking about finding other people to fill his room? So I guess you're saying the tenancy agreement is due for renewal in 5 months time and that the current housemates, bar one, intend to renew the lease and so he isn't in a position where he needs to find somewhere else to live in the next five months?

Nine months to me seems very quick to be moving in, to be honest, but I'm sure there are others who will say they moved in after 9 weeks and are happy together.

74jax

I wouldn't be frustrated.

You have 5 months yet, maybe a month before the agreement ends you can re-assess if he moves in with you or continues to rent himself.

You could decide now what will happen in 5 months time and then everything change down the line.

Just enjoy your new relationship, plenty of time for frustrations etc. when you're not in the 'new' phase of the relationship.

McKneff

Stop pushing him for a decision and just get on with it as things are.
Wait till a time when he has to make a decision and wait for him to ask if he can move in.
You may have changed your mind when you have got to know him a bit better.
You said in your post your not sure that he is as honest as you thought, use this time to make sure of his honesty.

To be honest, I think its your past problem of trust that is making you make a mountain out of a mole hill.
Just give your relationship more time to develop.

And start as you mean to go on, get all the ground rules sorted before he moves in. ie rent, contributions to food, electricity etc.

shinytoaster

Five months is ages off when you consider that you have only been together for nine months. I'm not being funny, but it is still early days. I mean, my chappie and I have been together for ten months and, despite thinking that meeting him being the best thing ever I don't know him properly and, nor does he know me. I personally believe that you should both drop the issue and have fun. Life is too short to squabble. Get to know him properly first.

alipops1986

By the time he'd be able to move in we'd have been together for about 14mnths.
To be honest, i do want him to move in, if he wants to, but i feel frustrated that hes been telling me one thing and others another, or that messages have somehow got all confused.
I think i'm probably best just trying to put it all to the back of my mind and not bringing it up again.

maryotuam

Trust in your gut instinct. If you are in anyway unsure about being comfortable living together, don't do it. By now you would know if a new friend was becoming a "best friend". If he is not a really good friend that you can trust and rely on, then it should send out alarm bells.

An important part of a relationship is being able to communicate with each other.

melancholly

it might be worth having a look at the house buying/renting board - lots of advice on various threads there in terms of what plans you might need to make if he does move in. worth reading some other opinions on it too.

i don't know many people that will choose where they want to live 5 months ahead, so this is probably planning a bit far ahead anyway! but if you do want him to move in, tell him. if he doesn't want to, then that's ok too. it may just be a little soon for that level of commitment.

rocketdog_2

Talking about moving in together after only 9 months?! I bet you've scared the pants off him!