Divorce which way is best financially?

xtcc

Hi All

My question is should my partner divorce his ex or wait for her to divorce him?

He left her back in March and she stated she was going to divorce him for adultery but she hasn't started the divorce yet.

Am I right in thinking that she could divorce him and make him pay all the costs of the divorce? Including her solicitors costs?

If he divorced her for unreasonable behaviour would he only need to pay the court costs and his solicitors costs?

Big thanks to any advice anyone could give:)

clearingout

it is usual for a judge to award costs (if a costs application is made) to the person who has done 'wrong' (the respondent) in the divorce. This is just for the divorce - nothing to do with the children (if there are any) or anything to do with sorting out the financial side of things. Many couples share the cost and frankly, if the man has been committing adultery, then it would be more than reasonable for him to cover the entire cost and keep quiet about it. Has he talked to his wife about getting things moving? It can be very difficult to come to terms with the end of a marriage so if you want to avoid difficulties, best to give a gentle nudge and let her get on with it. Nothing more insulting than being divorced for your unreasonable behaviour when you were left for another woman!

pupsicola

I wouldn't recommend him divorcing her for unreasonable behaviour if the marriage ended because he committed adultery. She would probably take great offence to that and cause him no end of grief.
The break down of a marriage can hit you like a ton of bricks and she may still be struggling to face it and deal with the inevitable.

If they are not on speaking terms he could write to her and ask if she has contacted a solicitor as yet. Once she does he will be written to and can instruct his own solicitor.

I divorced my ex a few years back and we had agreed between us before contacting solicitors that he would meet all costs of this. My solicitor still required it in writing from him though before things could proceed.

iceicebaby

Maybe it might be better to wait until they have been seperated for 2 years and then as long as they both agree to divorce, they can divorce after 2 years separation with consent. This takes all the "blame" away and each person is normally then responsible for their own expenses, however the person that petitions the divorce is normally responsible for the court costs.

xtcc

Thanks for replies. No children involved and I am talking about the divorce only not the financial order.

I know that she wants to divorce him for adultery,however she hasn't started the divorce proceedings and financially he has paid enough to be honest, we are talking thousands of pounds to keep them both from being black listed on the joint mortgage and secured loans.

Just trying to save ourselves from more financial hardship.Were paying the mortgage on an empty house thats not selling, she won't agree to rent it out or let us live in it and were paying the secured loan. We also pay rent on our flat.

So wondered financially if it would benefit us if he divorced her, instead of us having to pay for the whole divorce?

They are on emailing terms only, any suggestions on the wording a "gentle nudge" ?

pupsicola

Keep any email non-emotional and dont mention the money side of things. From what you mentioned in your post it seems that she is quite happy for this situation to be crippling him financially. Why else would she not just move on and sort everything out. Just ask if she has contacted any solicitor regarding the divorce since it is nearly a year since they parted.

If your partner does start divorce proceedings citing her unreasonable behaviour I think it could cause him alot of problems. Dont know where the law would stand if he started the proceedings but admitted causing the breakdown of the marriage. Im not making any judgements here (hard to get that across on forums)

Rainmaker_uk

I suggest you pay some money to a qualified solicitor before doing anything else