Just when you think someone is fab with money...

newleaf

forsya wrote: »

It is interesting isn't it and so true, sometimes I see young girls at work in their 20's (age when I was in debt) ................

lilylass wrote: »

Well said! The above was me in my 20s and have spent my 30s repaying it all!

No-one ever guessed about my debts, and I only confided in one very close friend when she told me about her own debts first.
I've spent my whole adult life in debt and now just about got on top of it in my 50's.

dollybeads

newleaf wrote: »

No-one ever guessed about my debts, and I only confided in one very close friend when she told me about her own debts first.
I've spent my whole adult life in debt and now just about got on top of it in my 50's.

Wow you have done so well, like all the others for me it has always felt like i must not let anyone know I am struggling, but always trying to keep up with the Jones's. i work with doctors, and you wouldn't believe how much they spend its truly hair raising :eek:. I have often thought that as I have a responsible position and earn good money I have to demonstrate that, through being overtly generous and paying for everything. The reality is i probably have less to spend each month than my children do. All of this is such a sobering exercise and does show the futility of getting yourself in debt. onwards and upwards

headoutthesand

All my debt first started when I was 18 and went shopping one lunch time and was offered a store card in Warehouse. Before I knew it I had one for Oasis, Top shop, Next and 2 catologues!

I have slowly but surely paid them off ALL through my 20s. Now my final challenge is to be debt free by 30 - this year. Basically I have spent the last 11 and a half years paying off debt with hardly anything (except my carwhich is paid) to show for it.

rising_from_the_ashes

dollybeads wrote: »

Wow you have done so well, like all the others for me it has always felt like i must not let anyone know I am struggling, but always trying to keep up with the Jones's. i work with doctors, and you wouldn't believe how much they spend its truly hair raising :eek:. I have often thought that as I have a responsible position and earn good money I have to demonstrate that, through being overtly generous and paying for everything. The reality is i probably have less to spend each month than my children do. All of this is such a sobering exercise and does show the futility of getting yourself in debt. onwards and upwards

I know what you mean! Recently there were several people at work involved in the same charity event. Most people were sponsoring them £10. A colleague & I worked out that if we sponsored everyone it would be £50 (which I'm afraid I can't afford in one month).

We ended up sponsoring them £2.50 each - she was really worried what everyone would think but I reminded her that most of them earn around £20,000/year more than us.

Peer pressure is awful.

Squirrel29

I was proud of myself for turning down a meal next weekend with friends, and even said I can't afford it and would just turn up after they've finished and have a couple of drinks. I felt a bit embarrassed but also kind of empowered!!

dollybeads

Well done guys, like you say its really hard to say "I just can't afford it" (i haven't managed it yet, but getting inspiration from all on DFW to do it this week. DFW.

newleaf

dollybeads wrote: »

Well done guys, like you say its really hard to say "I just can't afford it" (i haven't managed it yet, but getting inspiration from all on DFW to do it this week. DFW.

Don't you think it's easier in January though? You can just say 'I over spent on Christmas and I'm having to make some cutbacks', and surely no-one will argue - you might even find them agreeing with you

dollybeads

I really hope so, although not done this yet, will have the opportunity this week, and in the past when someone has said this to me I have always been mightily relieved (as usually nothing to spend anyway except on CC). Also hopeless once I have a glass of wine I am like someone possessed, thinking I deserve to have X, Y and Z as work hard etc and any common sense disappears as quick as the wine in the bottle :rotfl:

ixia

i think it is often the case I was speaking to my friend on wednesday about trying to clear the last of my debts after too many years of being up to my eyes in it. She just shrugged it off and said everyone had debts it's normal.

She was talking about a loan to consolidate her credit cards and loan tried to talk her out of it explaining that I had been there and just ran up more debts again she said that's just how everyone lives.

I hope she doesn't do it I just worry because I've been there myself. I've pointed her in the direction of the forums hope she takes it on board.

glimmerofhope

Great Post OP
I look around our carpark at work and it is full of brand new top of the range cars and I wonder how many are on tick, mine may be old but it is all paid for.
It took time for me to say no to coffee every lunch and all the meals etc, but now it is second nature and when I do go out or go for coffee it feels like the treat that they are
My mindset has completely changed - I now think do I need this, is it worth what the shop are asking for it will I get wear/use out of it and if I can answer yes then I will buy it.
:beer: