SOA - please help me someone

woody24

Katie-Kat-Kins wrote: »

Hmmm tough, I do think though it sounds as though both you and your partner are living beyond your means and need to perhaps sit down and look at your finances seriously and work out what savings can be made, even if you keep your finances separate.

You also need to realise that while you may think you need some things you can normally manage without. If you really challenge yourself you can normally cut out things you thought were essentials.

Your phone for example, you don't have to call all your family and friends, let them call you or email or text if it is cheaper - £35 a month is a lot for a mobile, you can get sat nav on your phone on much cheaper tarriffs. Mine is £20 a month with a £5 bundle for internet use and I use sat nav and never exceed my minutes. You just need to be disciplined. i put £35 but my tarriff is actually only £30 but i allowed £5 for any accidental overusage like when i hvae to call credit card companies using 0845 numbers! i have asked to lower my tarriff and they wont let me - beleive me, i am trying everything i can to save EVERYWHERE.

Same with TV, could you ditch virgin and go to a broadband only package with talk talk or someone else cheap? You don't need the tv, and free view gives you lots to watch. im in an 18 month contract and cant ditch anyway - i did call to downgrade my broadband package last month and cant for another 8 months.

Even if you don't have time for a second job during the week you have weekends or you can earn money with things that are flexible time wise, like delivering free newspapers or doing avon or taking in ironing. i dont own an iron or an ironing board .. seriously u should see what happens when i iron clothes!! i have been calling around about bar work on saturdays/sundays - it's just so hard when thats the only time i get to go and visit my family and when u commit to a job u dont want to be saying ur off to visit family. i didnt know my family until recently so im trying to make up for lost time. i know i should maybe just get a job at the weekends instead and not visit family, but i honestly dont know what makes me more sad. if i got hit by a bus tomorrow i would be so sad that i spent my weekends paying off debt instead of spending quality little time with family. but i do see what ur saying.

You have clearly been burying your head in the sand for a long time and it is important that you face up to the reality of your situation. Going BR isn't a magic bullet, it will have long term serious consequences for both you and your partner. this is why i have been burying my head in teh sand! i want a future and to be able to buy a house and I cant do any of that BR. its a stigma that i dont want at 25 years old and thats why after years of struggling with this debt, im here crying and wishing i didnt have to be asking questions about BR. this is no light decision.

I'd suggest reading some of the threads on Old Style for an idea of how little money people can really get by on and how to really economise, you might realise that you can do it.

If you paid your debt repayments first you would have £1080 left to live on for the whole month, that is more than some have for a whole family!

1080 ... minus £250 to get to the work that pays me that money to pay the debts and then minus £700 for rent and bill payments ... and i guess i better have some money to eat

i appreciate your help and advice and commetns so much but i feel torn apart by all these comments thinking maybe theres more i should be doing than coming on here to cry for help but i just cant think of anything more i can do without tearing my whole life apart.

Iris_Blue

I'm glad you've said that katie as although we are not here to judge anybody about their money problems, Id hate to think that if the debts get sorted that it wont all happen again. I know its a vicious circle but you also have to address why you got there in the first place, recognise why it became a problem. writing EVERYTHING down, even that odd pack of chewing gum.

I know its difficult and Ive been there up all night worrying and even now we're ok for money (thank god) if anything happens then Im taken right back to that place again. I still do daily clicks and cashback sites and save where-ever I can.

I really feel for you though Woody and I'm sat here thinking about you. Can't believe you sold the camera though, I find that upsetting but understand how desperate you must feel.

woody24

Katie-Kat-Kins wrote: »

What about a lodger to up your income? You said you have a three bedroom house, you could get two lodgers if you and your partner share a bedroom. Some lodgers only want a place monday - friday for work so you would have the place to yourselves at the weekend. we are not allowed to sub-let, its against our tenancy agreement and i would rather not risk being homeless at the moment we didnt opt for a 3 bedroom out of greed. we lived in a 1 bedroom flat before this for £800 the same price so this house was a snap up price so we took it.

Also have you and your partner tried looking for a new job? One that pays better or requires less travel for similar pay? Could make a significant difference to your standard of living.

Im only 25 years old and already on £32k which iv built up with 8 years experience in my field ... i dont know how much of a better job i could get!

Iris_Blue

Woody why not delay the BR then and look at raising money...home cooking from scratch to reduce the grocery bill...doing daily clicks ( pennies but pennies make pounds eventually) , give yourself 3 months and then look at br?


EDIT advertising on your car if your point free..thats a good one due to the driving you do

GEEGEE8

I was 24 when I went bankrupt. It really felt like the end of my world.. It isn't. I'm at uni now, something I couldn't do with so much debt, and am building a much brighter future because I'm rid of the burden.

I waiting far too long to go bankrupt, and probably paid what I owed twice over with the interest.

woody24

my partner had £5000 inheritance which she used to pay one of her credit cards and my highest interest credit card which was truely crucifying me which was very nice of her adn i dont have to pay that back. nothing else has changed and is all still the same because of lousy minimum payments not taking balances anywhere. would hvae been great if id paid that off myself.

HappyMJ wrote: »

Looking at your previous post in August you had debt of £26,900 and have now cleared that down to £24,740 in only 4 months. That's quite good if you continued at that pace you will be debt free in 4 years with a clear credit rating.

Iris_Blue

woody24 wrote: »

my partner had £5000 inheritance which she used to pay one of her credit cards and my highest interest credit card which was truely crucifying me which was very nice of her adn i dont have to pay that back. nothing else has changed and is all still the same because of lousy minimum payments not taking balances anywhere. would hvae been great if id paid that off myself.

To be honest, we keep our finances very seperate and always have done because its an independancy thing for me more than anything - I wouldnt even know what her expenses are but she earns a lot less than me and still pays for half of everything for the house the same as I do and has her own debt.

It seems like you have a very nice partner

woody24

i already do daily clicks when i get the time which isnt alot when i work 14 hours days somedays! and yes, i do work saturdays sometimes if i dont get all my work done in teh week but thats a seperate matter completely and because i have passion for my job that i do that.

Iris_Blue wrote: »

Woody why not delay the BR then and look at raising money...home cooking from scratch to reduce the grocery bill - this makes me groxery bill more not less! buying fresh veg and fruit and fresh cuts of mean works out far too expensive for me - i have to buy freezer food to save money as i find it's cheaper and lasts longer. but im on this total food replacment diet at the moment anyway and that is saving me some cash.

...doing daily clicks ( pennies but pennies make pounds eventually) , give yourself 3 months and then look at br?


EDIT advertising on your car if your point free..thats a good one due to the driving you do

im not point free :-( but nice idea :-)

woody24

haha thanks Iris - yes she is pretty cool and I would have done the same for her had I the opportunity, she gets upset because she cant help me more but it's not her debt and it's my problem and she has no money as it is!

Ahhhh is it money or love that makes the world go round :-)

Iris_Blue wrote: »

It seems like you have a very nice partner

jennikitten

'i wish it was that simple, i certainly wouldnt be here crying about going BR if it was :-( trust me, i do EVERYTHING to avoid spending money. to the point where i have just gone on a total food replacement diet which costs £30 a week and i cant eat anything except these milkshakes or drink water. yes i do need to loose a couple of stone anyway but it seemed to be the absolutely cheapest way i could eat and still be healthy (its pharmacy controlled) because i cant eat any other foods or drink anything except water, so the only thing literally i spend is £30 per week.'

So are you saying you aren't eating actual food but doing a meal replacement plan for £30/week - not for medical reasons, but of your own choice? Food replacement milkshakes aren't healthy at all - they're really bad for you, particularly in the long term. Aside from the fact that doing a weekly shop with your partner & splitting costs is going to work out far less per meal...for £30/week you can buy everything fresh and organic!