PurpleJay's Journey to be Morgage Free by 50

PurpleJay

I have just posted a long reply on Abundant's thread 'A Journey to the Emerald City' Having read his diary it got me thinking about why are we the way we are with money and I thought I would share it here too as there is quite a bit of background.

I grew up an only child with parents who believed wholeheartedly in saving up for everything. Money was tight when I was growing up as my parents had stretched themselves with the mortgage not expecting to have a baby. My mum was 39 when she had me and they had long given up on the idea. Mum gave up work for 4 years and then went back evenings and later school hours to make ends meet. We had holidays but some of them were out of season in Mablethorpe when most things were shut, you get the idea. We used to take our library tickets and go to the library - you couldn't make it up

I remember when my dad had a small bank loan for a car it was a big deal for them. Every piece of furniture they bought, the cash was put away week by week and great deliberation took place as to what they wanted and then where to get it the cheapest. Neither mum or dad were afraid to haggle!

I am an only child. I left home at 20 and moved into a house with a friend. I was offered and applied for 2 credit cards from my bank, one mastercard and one visa. They were for £1500 each. I was like 'yay free money!' I had no idea but I went shopping. My dad lent me the money for my driving lessons and first car.

When I got engaged and wanted to save up for a house I moved back to my parents and took out a consolidation loan. We were offered a deal on a new build and moved in with no money. We bought new everything on credit. Carpets, curtains, sofas, bedding, kitchenware. We ran up the credit cards again. I was so overdrawn, my bank closed my account. We split up. I took out a new consolidation loan. We sold the house and I moved back to my mums.

I thought never again. My lightbulb moment was when my bank refused to have me as a customer!

I met my now husband. I saved up, paid off the loan and a year later bought another house. Soon after he moved in. This time it was an old house and to start with we managed with what we had or bought cheap. Hubby who I thought was fantastic with money when we met has also got in a mess with credit cards too a couple of times. It is so easy to overspend and then having to make the payments just makes it worse.

I always think I should have known better given how careful my parents were but then they were brought up in a different time. I was never warned of the dangers of credit cards. I never told my parents I had them or the loans. My mum would have been mortified!

Our current house was bought with my mum so she could live with us but as you know she had to move to a care home. Because of her putting equity in the property, our mortgage is affordable. We couldn't have afforded to live here otherwise. I sometimes feel guilty about it but we wouldn't have come here were it not to help her. After my lightbulb moment which was a few years ago now, I turned into a bit of a control freak about making sure I can pay the bills (not a bad thing at all IMHO) and that is why I have control of the household bills and hubby pays board. This was especially important after having our son and moving in with mum who by that stage (if ever) had no real clue about money, unless it was in cash in her purse.

I am now 40 and hope to be mortgage free by 50. I am sure having a goal is half the battle. You know where you are heading and even if you have a few lapses you are already on the road if you know what I mean.

Anyone care to share their thoughts on how they were brought up to think about money and whether they are the same as or different to their parents? I suppose we have far more material goods than they ever did. Mum used to save for things and then buy as good a quality as she could afford (some times better than others) and then look after it and make it last. We are much more of a throwaway society these days. I have a friend who changes her sofas every couple of years lol. I did at least have my last ones over 10 years!

Buying is so easy, earlier I was buying school clothes online for my son as well as a few bits of general wear. I looked at the sale things and then summer things for me. I had things in my basket and then took most of them out. I have to make a conscious effort not to spend money and if I don't think about it - it will all be gone :eek:

PurpleJay

And now I really am off to make pasta sauce after spending another hour on here lol!

linz

My parents were never really that well off. My mum didnt work until my brother and I were almost secondary school age so we just had my dads wage. Lots of our clothes were hand me downs from my cousins and holidays were staying with my aunty down south or camping or caravanning. I never went on a plane til I was 14. Having said that I wouldnt change my childhood for the world.

My parents encouraged us to get paper rounds and saturday jobs so we could save up for things we wanted once we got too old for pocket money and because of this I have always saved for something I want, never get stuff on credit cards unless I can pay it in full the next month.

Im thankful to my parents for showing me that you dont need to be big earners to be happy.

PurpleJay

Hi All.

Linz - Funny how things work out. Maybe there is no pattern to it. My childhood was happy too and my parents set a good example with money. They did fine but had to be careful. I also had paper rounds. I left school at 15. I used to say my ambition was to be financially independent. Perhaps I just wanted to much to soon and that was why I got in a mess. I never wanted to wait for anything. I never went abroad until I was 19 and my parents never did. We always had holidays though and days out and we seemed no worse off than a lot of my friends families and better off than some. My parents achieved a lot really. Their parents always rented and were really poor but my parents both wanted to buy a house and saved hard to do it.

On general money saving, I have sold a few bits on ebay this week and have just been getting them ready to post. I am getting hungry so lunch is my next thing. Not sure what to have. Maybe some left over curry out of the fridge. We are having home made oven chips with sausage, egg and beans for tea.

My weekly meal plan is as follows:

Saturday - Rice (chilli/curry/risotto)
Sunday - Gravy dinner
Monday - Pasta (tomato and veg sauce/bolognaise/lasagne/pesto, cheese and veg etc)
Tuesday - Potato / eggs (chips/omlette/potato and cheese bake/potato and onion pie/fry up etc)
Wednesday - Pizza / freezer
Thursday - Gravy dinner
Friday Pasta

The idea is to have a rough plan so we can vary what we have within the various headings. I hoard food so am on a mission to reduce my freezer and cupboards and cut down my grocery budget. Because I told my son yesterday we were having potatoes and/or eggs for tea today he announced at breakfast that he wanted potato, cheese and beans for breakfast because it was potato day! I quickly rustled up some packet mash and he was happy! A bit of a strange breakfast but filling and probably a good start to the day for him!

This afternoon, I am going to tackle some paperwork. I am currently off work as I twisted my knee mid January when I slipped on ice. I am having to wear a splint and cannot drive. I go back to hospital a week tomorrow.

Had a letter this morning to say my new mortgage was in place and I have a number to phone to arrange the overpayments. I will try to ring them later too.

Have a great day folks.

PurpleJay

I ended up making cauli cheese and pasta bake yesterday so me an DH had that for tea. M had mash, cheese, beans, sweetcorn and scrambled egg in that order all piled on top of each other lol. I have more bake left for lunch today and tomorrow and 2 portions in the freezer. I also made cup cakes and jam tarts I like having time to bake but I spent to long on my feet and made my leg ache. Today, I am going to do more sitting down.

Not rang about my overpayments yet so that is a job for today. As well, I am going to do some filing/paperwork I have been putting off. We are going on holiday to Majorca in April, so I am thinking of having a go of learning some basic spanish to help. I will see if I can find anything free on the web.

PurpleJay

There has been another lapse in my motivation to become mortgage free. This has been a tough year. I slipped and fell in Jan and had a month off work and then at Easter had my appendix out which meant another month off. I have recently found out I have gallstones and am waiting for a hospital appointment. My mum has been ill but is doing better again at the moment and my other closest relative, my lovely aunty passed away last month. Life sometimes just gets in the way.

Moneywise, we have had some big spends. The car has cost me over £1200 so far this year and is due it's MOT :eek: A couple of little bumps in the car have meant claims on the insurance with heavy excess payments. More recently, vets bills for our elderly cat totalling about £350 have needed paying. I try to have money aside for every eventuality but these amounts have all exceeded my planned budget. I need to get back on track.

I have decided yet again that I need to declutter, budget better, be tidier, sell some stuff on ebay and stop buying more stuff. Then I need to start saving!

I will keep you posted

stewby

hey purple jay.

given my upbringing, i should have been the perfect debt free adult. my parents (like yours), saved up to get what they wanted, paid off their mortgage whenever they got "extra" money, kept within their means even when times were tough and were very careful.

i was brought up like that. yet when i started uni (i was 19), i wanted to do what everyone else was... but then i had a mortgage and bills so it wasn't really an option. however, i was very fortunate and my parents used to give me money so that i could socialise. (i did work every possible weekend to help pay my way).

i then, very stupidly, got hold of a credit card. worked up £10,000 of debt which i took out a loan to clear and have now worked up another £3,000. my dad took the credit card from me to protect me from myself... and quite embarassingly, my current account has gone to my dad as well. i now get £400 a month (on the 1st) which i decimate by the 15th most months.


the lightbulb moment for me came now (at age 29), watching my dad plan for his retirement. my mum has never worked (well, apart from her 3 hour "cleaning job" once a week in which she has a gossip and several cups of tea). my dad is amazing to watch, budgetting everything, planning out his details and working out when he can retire based on his savings and how long they will sustain them for. this has inspired me to "grow up" about how i look after my finances.

anyways... i have probably gotten distracted whilst telling you my story but i cannot figure out how someone who has such financial savvy parents can make such a disaster of things. hopefully i can get a grip on it and make my dad proud of me. which is all a girl really wants really.


good luck on your journey. i am glad to see that despite some false starts, you are still keeping going. hope your mum is okay in her new home and that you are feeling better soon. good luck with the decluttering.
*hugs*

PurpleJay

Hi Stewby, thanks for sharing and congratulations on your lightbulb moment

I have bought a new diary which arrived today called The Life Book. It runs until the end of 2014 and will hopefully help me keep on track. I am going to record all my spends in there and there is a pocket for receipts. There are week to view pages with columns for different family members, birthdays, meal planning etc. There are pull out shopping lists, weekly routines monthly planners, budget pages and lots of other stuff.

I have had a big tesco delivery today £80 and spent £20 on yellow sticker/offers from the co-op. The cupboards, fridge and freezer are all full and so I will only be doing a small top up shop next week for milk, veg and bread.

Sold 4 things on ebay this week and posted them this morning. Friday is currently my day off. After the shopping came, I tidied the fridge and have been putting out the washing, putting more washing on, tidying the kitchen and trying to dry my tent outside after last weekend when we got a bit soggy!

Might write a to do list for my next post!

PurpleJay

TO DO LIST FOR THE WEEKEND

[STRIKE]Ring Megazone[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Empty dryer[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Tidy a cupboard[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Light wash on
Declutter some old clothes for me and M
Tidy a drawer (or 2)
Put all dry clothes away (friday)
Pack tent away
Finish Avon order
Clean rats out
Cafe church Sat 10.30am
Visit Mum
Go to Pets at Home
15 mins tidying in each - bedroom, kitchen, lounge
Sweep through downstairs
Hang out wet washing and do more washing - (3 more loads done and out Sun)
15 mins paperwork
Make smash scones (also made banana cake, veggie chilli and stewed apple[/STRIKE]

Clean bathrooms (1 done)
15 mins tidying in each - M's room, dining room, understairs/hall/landing, utility
Sweep through upstairs
Wash kitchen floor
Wash lounge floor (wiped obvious marks!)
Air and put away dry clothes (sat/sun)

Sew badges on Beaver jumper
Ironing (yuk)
Count NCT money
List 10 things on ebay (photographed but not listed yet)

Put all camping stuff in loft.
Drop invite at H's

PurpleJay

Current situation Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Income from Employment (after tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 876.94
Income from Self Employment (before tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . 40.00
Benefits (Inc. Child Benefit/Tax Credits & Income Support). . 383.24
Other . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .250.00
Board from OH. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .433.33

Monthly Expense Details

In Your Home

Mobile phones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35.00
TV licence. . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.12
Home phone and internet.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30.00
Cleaning products/Cleaner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00
Garden maintenance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00
Household maintenance .. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . 10.00
Electricity and gas. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125.00
Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26.91
Council tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114.17
Bank account fee.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9.50
Home insurance. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41.38
Mortgage/Rent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 404.03
Mortgage life insurance .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28.21
Life insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.58
Food and household shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250.00
Drinks for home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30.00

Motoring & Public Transport

Petrol/Diesel . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130.00
Car tax . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00
Car insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33.33
Car maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Breakdown cover . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00

Debt Repayments

Credit card repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00

Savings & Investments

Regular saving CTF. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00

Family

Pet food. . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40.00
School trips. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.33
School meals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41.17
Pocket money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.67
School Milk . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00

Entertainment

Family days out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Cinema/Theatre trips. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Books/Music/Films/Computers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00
Big days out. . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00
Pet costs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Drinking out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Eating out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00

Clothes, Health & Beauty

Optical bills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00
Haircuts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Work clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00
New children's clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30.00
New clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30.00

Education & Courses

CILEX Subs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16.25

Big One-Offs

Sofa/Kitchen/TV . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Birthdays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Winter holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33.33
Summer holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50.00
Christmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00

Odds & Sods

Newspapers and magazines. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.67
Regular charity donations CPL. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.00
Meals at work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.50
Coffees/Sandwiches/Snacks .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.00


Total monthly income. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1,983.51


Total monthly expenses. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1,858.15