Asking a partner for money!! Would you?

Nottoobadyet

ryuken21 wrote: »

out of embarassment even when i really needed that £20 I declined.

Don't be embarrassed! if she offers and £20 is a real help, please take it, especially if its a contribution to a shared activity or meal. I don't think anyone expects the fella to pay for everything these days, and I think its a sign of a healthy relationship when you can talk about money openly.

Talking about money honestly is different from asking for a loan, mind. Are we talking about a large sum that she would be unlikely to give up without reducing her lifestyle, or are we talking about having her pay for your groceries for a week, which is much different?

If you have a nose around the boards you'll see lots of people who have been burned by loaning money / guaranteeing loans for their OH's who later defaulted or !!!!!!ed off (obviously you wouldn't, that's not what I'm suggesting!!) so forgive us if we seem like a cynical bunch on the ways of love and money! :A

ryuken21

I absolutely agree with every point you guys have made here. I think I will not ask her and speak with the university first and see what im entitled too. I think you all speak sense when you say alarm bells would ring at 3 months, and please believe me when I say I DO NOT WANT TO ASK HER. I just asked if I should because before knowing about the ALF from caroline I had no other options.

I'm only talking about possibly a max of £100 for a couple of weeks shopping and my gas and elec bill which are due very soon. I would work a whole week and give it her straight back if thats how she demanded repayment

I would not fuk off or default on her because I do honestly care about her. Plus even if i wanted to there is no way I could do that, considering other than the debt she knows every little detail about me haha

GEEGEE8

Are you due a bursary from uni? I'm in my first year and have just been sent a letter awarding me a bursary payable in Feb.. I checked on my student finance site under correspondance.

I don't know who gets it and who doesn't, but worth a check?

weeclick

I personally wouldn't! I was with my ex for 3 years and even though my ex had a big savings account I wouldn't even ask for £2 to buy new underwear when I badly needed it! I think when you bring money into a relationship it could cause problems and more so in your case with your relationship being so new! Its probably not what you want to hear but its not something I would do!

ellesbellesxxx

I would run a mile if a man asked to borrow money from me... maybe if we had a house and children it would be different but at this stage, I think you are risking a lot.
Good luck to you

ryuken21

alright women. way to make a man feel a bit better when hes alrady at an all time low lol

Nottoobadyet

ryuken21 wrote: »

I would not fuk off or default on her because I do honestly care about her. Plus even if i wanted to there is no way I could do that, considering other than the debt she knows every little detail about me haha

Oh come now, I wasnt saying that at all!! I was just trying to give you some perspective on the comments that might have otherwise seemed overly cynical.

The size of the loan does matter - if she can afford the £100 and you can realistically pay it back, I would ask her nicely and obviously not hold it against her if she says no. I thought you were talking about thousands, tbh.

PNPSUKNET

Its a bit soon to be borrowing money from each other, but if you have respect for each other I cant see a reason why not. When i had a large unexpected back tax bill in my gf helped me out and I paid her back. Now my wife we help each other out when ever needed.