so confused and feeling crap...

jobneeded

Hi

I really unsure as to what I can do for a living.
As I have no A-C grades and have no intentions of going to a college or school to possibly rectify this.
As I personally found "School" work hard to understand (no matter how many times I asked for help).
I don't know what type of job I would be best suited (or more capable of).
As the past 2-3 jobs I had ( i was sacked from)
2 jobs were Order Picking which I was constantly making mistakes such as (writing numbers down in the wrong order and not realising (even when pointed out to me,i still read them as being in the correct order.)
and was picking items which weren't needed (and couldn't understand this as I was using a barcode scanning unit and can't pick wrong items as such)

the other job I had was a general laborer (which again,i was sacked for making the same mistakes.
and generally hated the job with a passion as to when i was asked to do something (and couldn't (either through not being strong enough or not knowing how) I was then frowned upon and later sacked.

I don't know now as to what job would suit me best. where I feel that
A) i can stick at it
im capable of doing the tasks

I would like something easy (that pays what I need) such as a car valeting person (car cleaner) but can't see this being a good job in years to come.

I have struggled and always have with numeracy and english.

The jobcentre have assigned me to a course for SIA badge in security but really have no interest in this line of work as I would be dealing with people in day to day work (such as customers) and their is nothing about the job that really enlightens me.

I don't want people to think that I am just a lazy person who dosen't want to work.
As I do genuinely want to work and have back my independance and self esteem.

As i have had these thoughts of worthlessness running round my head while applying for jobs and it is really begining to get me down.

ontop of which the last job I had as an order picker one of the staff (first 10 minutes of working on my own) said "are you dyslexic" ?
to which i didn't reply as i didn't know what to say as going through school I was often confronted by my head of year (whenever i changed schools) "do you suffer from dyslexia"? to which the school would phone my parents and them the same question.
As I was tested for dyspraxia as a child (again through school when i was around 5 years old)

I am really unsure as to what I can do (and don't have a doctor or GP to ask about any of my learning difficulties either)

what should i do?

rob

Googlewhacker

Don't just do a job because you think you should be doing, go for jobs that have something you enjoy in life, it may pay crap money but at least you will be happy.

Think of why artists are artists, not for money but for the job.

Pursue your interests.

DVardysShadow

jobneeded wrote: »

....

I have struggled and always have with numeracy and english.

....

As i have had these thoughts of worthlessness running round my head while applying for jobs and it is really begining to get me down.

Can't comment on numeracy. But your post is very readable, understandable, well laid out and well thought through. It is a question of finding your strengths and working with them.

Savvy_Sue

dyslexia and dyspraxia are not the same thing, although often linked, and dyscalculia is different again, if it's a problem with sequencing numbers or not being able to get them in the right order, it could be that.

ask at the job centre about how you could get help with your specific difficulties.

there is nothing to stop you getting a GP.

and you can either let your experience of school put you off all further learning, or tackle your problems.

when you read something, does it make sense? I agree that what you've written is readable and understandable.

Snoozle

jobneeded wrote: »

Hi

I really unsure as to what I can do for a living.
As I have no A-C grades and have no intentions of going to a college or school to possibly rectify this.


rob

I thought your post was very readable too, I think you are being hard on yourself. But.....its the bit above that jumped out at me as soon as I read your post. Saying you struggle with something and then almost in the same breath that you have no intention of trying to improve the situation is not the sort of thing that impresses potential employers. Don't be too hard on yourself, but at the same time, don't just write yourself off with a 'tried it before, didn't like it, its too hard' attitude. If you are afraid you may have a learning disability, then register with a GP and talk to him/her, ask for help - it won't come to you, you'll have to look for it, and you'll have to be determined, but if you don't ask you don't get.

jobneeded

Sure enough you read this easily enough, If this had been a written letter,Then it would have been a different matter (as my hand writting is poor).

the difference in "Dyspraxia and Dyslexia"

being I was tested for Dyspraxia when I was 5 and already in school. Which I wouldn't think at that age and time would show up as

low self esteem
feeling useless and no purpose
anxious when doing "new tasks"
"feelings of I wish everybody would leave me alone and stop talking to me I want to be left alone to do my own thing" (as i feel sometimes now 18)

dyslexia shows those stated above.

the situation was made a whole heap worse when the Jobcentre sent me to a "Direct Training" course and was given an induction and met the staff at the course and so on. the next week I turned up, was put in front of a computer to do a basic skills assesment,and then dumped in a class room "Full" of people and told to do what was on the board! which.. when "the tutor" asked me what the answer was, I gave a "well im sorry but i have no idea" to which then,she tried then explaining what was on the board (something like "multiplication deminiating" ) something like that.

She tried to explain this around 5-6 times and then in front of everybody in the room just said "do actually want to be here?" and i just said back "well.. i was sent here hoping that i could do something to better myself,but no... looks like it's too much hard work as usual"

the tutor then pulled me into her office and then said"look, you might find this difficult but if your wanting to better yourself then you better start listening, (me) " i have listened to what you have said completely but just failed to understand as the instructions you gave me were too long! "do this,do that,then you get = then multiply by x then divide then.. the list went on.. "

I asked the tutor,"if you have a student who struggles with math's,feels pretty !!!!!! about himself as it is,can't find anything that really actually excites him enough to even get of bed in the morning to face another day of feeling useless,what would you do?"

to which she just gave an obnoxious look and said "you know this course is voluntary NOT (capitals as she raised her voice) mandatory?

so.. long story short,i left the course,no wiser than i went in.

as said above,though,there really isn't much that brings me round to a smile (passed my theory test for the car yesterday (failed this once before around 6 months ago) and studied it for around 2 weeks since christmas, and passed the test yesterday,when i recieved the paper when i went back to the front desk,opened the paper and it said"Congratulation MR Bath you have passed" i personally couldn't believe that what I did after, I got my things,folded up the paper,put in my pocket and just went home not even bothered.

the only slight interest I have is computers and to be able to do anything proffesionally you need qual's which i don't have.

I know how to build them,strip them,install any OS and even setup servers (that are based in datacenters) and more besides.

but I have turned a hobby into a proffesion before,which didn't work out and now i can't be arsed to even do that as a hobby anymore. as it kind of put me off. (car mechanic)

dyscalcula

I don't struggle with anything at all that is written down,but (sometimes) when i go to write something the numbers can end up in the wrong order. i.e 186 - might turn into 168.

I don't struggle with the numbers themselves such as "i.p address's of servers,computers even registration plates or serial numbers or whatever" (so long as i can see them) as memorizing numbers.. isn't much of an option (unless its a car's reg plate can remember those easy normally )

with mathematical questions such as
Multiplication
Division
subtracting (can subtract small easy stuff but couldn't work out for instance 304-163) without the use of a calculator.
and adding (same as above can't do this without a calculator.
remembering numbers can be difficult too.

thing is,it feels as though the jobcentre is putting me under pressure to the point where ( I know i must go in otherwise i won't get any allowance,but i really don't want to,to be asked questions that make me feel really uncomfortable and being told to go to places (such as that direct training ( i didn't want to go their) this SIA badge, i don't want to go and be a security guard! where il be traveling the best part of 40 miles per day on a knackered scooter in busy traffic (while trying to learn to drive) I hate security jobs and the what it entails.

but yet if i tell the jobcenter i don't want to do this,then they will think that Im just being a lazy F-er
when all i want to know is "right,you,you can do this job and i can jump in and get the job done and not feel any worse than before i started so to speak)

Oldernotwiser

I'm sorry that this is going to sound harsh but most people have to do jobs that don't thrill them that much, even when they have decent qualifications, experience and good references. In your situation, you really need to work on personal skills like positive attitude, communicating well with people and basic things like timekeeping and attendance.

Particularly in the current economic situation, you really can't pick and choose and need to get any job you can and stick at it so that you can lay the foundation for something better.

jobneeded

Hi

Yes I had tried that method of "get what you can approach" which has lead me to this mess im in now.

taking general laboring and order picking jobs,being told im basically too thick for the job and being sacked in under 2-3 weeks in both order picking jobs.

which is why im here now thinking,well what else can i do. as for the security jobs, id be having to travel from castleford to wakefield 5 times a week at around 7 am till around 2pm. with no expenses payed or anything as such.
which then half way through the course i need to then,attain a security job,then once ive begun working ( i repay the college that is training me for the sia badge) out of my monthly earnings.
which is great when i don't even want to be a security guard.have no intentions of ever being a security guard and have no interest in security work.

I would be far better and feel far better working as a car cleaner or bus or train cleaner.

tsstss7

OP if you think you would be better off doing cleaning/practical type jobs then go for it. There is no rule that says you have to do it for ever and you may do well. As an example a friend of mine messed up his exams and subsequently dropped out of college and went into gardening rather as an aside rather than a life choice but is still doing very well at it many years later. At the very least you will earn yourself a crust while mulling over future choices and then maybe you will learn more about what you want as you get older and perhaps then you can address whatever issues you may have with with learning.

jobneeded

Yes that Is what im aiming towards.

Something where I know I can start off and am capable of doing

1 foot on the ladder so to speak.

the reason behind me not wanting any security jobs and really not liking the idea behind is.

I was rather bullied at school and subsequently lost rather a few teeth because of this.
last thing I would really want now is having to confront people and being put into a difficult position and be left feeling how I was bullied at school.
if this makes any sense.

Money_maker

My nephew has dyslexia and short term memory loss which means he is unable to follow a list of instructions - rather like the ones on your course.

Have you any hobbies/skills you can persue? Everyone has at least one good ability, seek it out and use it.

You sound really nice and keen - you have my sympathies for your problems.