Any suggestions??

BillTrac

Been married for 30+ years. We both agreed last year that we no longer feel the need to pretend we are happy together. I am not going to go into the details, but suffice to say things 'ain't good'. The original idea was for me to buy her out and then she could get a place of her own. Last summer (2009) we had a mortgage offer but couldn't find anywhere suitable. And of course, this year things have changed considerably.

We now 'share' a 3 bedroom house. I did think last year that I had met someone else, as had she. And we both thought we could move on with our lives. Both possible relationships crashed so we are stuck back in the exact same situation we had before.

Is anyone else in the same situation? And how do you cope without wanting to commit murder..:rotfl:

We both want to try and do this as amicable as possible

BitterAndTwisted

Sell up, split the proceeds and move on.

McKneff

Can you go back to your original idea of buying her out, surely she could rent somewhere.

Could you just sell up and split the proceeds, and both rent (seperately of course:D)

Only you both know your own circumstances.
Why not sit down and talk about it. See if either of you can come to some sort of decision.

Buddingblonde

Are you divorcing at this point in time?

If not, is there a mortgage on the current house? Why not agree to sell the house when the market picks back up, you stay in the property and pay her rent elsewhere (if you bought her out you would be paying a mortgage anyway) or you move out and pay your own rent and move out.

Once the market has picked up - subject to say a 1yr review (so you dont put off selling cos you are settled) then sell, split the proceeds and you/she can then purchase a property.

Reggie_Rebel

Roller skate, stairs, broken lightbulb

Pee

It will be much easier to sort it our before one or both of you enters a new relationship. Even when a relationship is dead, third parties being involved can be tricky when everyone concerned remains reasonable, and I have to confess to having had a few unreasonable thoughts about ex's new girlfriends that could really be put down to jealousy and my own issues.

If I was you, I would proceed with the divorce and the financial split slowly and carefully and under discussion now.

Otherwise, do you need some suggestions to get you out of the house? I lived in the same house as my ex for a few months but fortunately we had a number of lodgers which was a bit of a buffer. I found getting away for a weekend gave me some space and helped me be nicer to him when I was back home, although he did misread this as new relationships so I had to be a lot nicer when I got home!

rachbc

Sell up and move on would be my advice...the 6 months I spent living in a house with my ex were hellish!