Marriage over-advice needed on finances

jaksmc

Hey all, I am new to this forum. My husband told me 3 weeks before christmas that he doesnt love me any more and has found someone else. I have a 4 year old son.

I need to know what to do next?

I have arranged a free consultation with a solicitor.

If he says he is going to pay me a private maintenance payment, will this affect my future rights to benefits if he subsequently withdraws the payment amount?

I currently work part time as it was agreed i would be the main carer for our child. Matters made worse because my son may be autistic or have aspergers and we are soon due to see the paediatrician.

Any advice is gratefully received.

(bit gloomy!)

Plans_all_plans

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Expectingorbringingupchildren/DG_10018808

Hi OP follow the link above, it tells you all you need to know. Maintenance doesn't affect benefits. Good luck, what a terrible thing to cope with. You'll get through it, but it will take time. Best wishes.

dizzyblonde82

jaksmc wrote: »

Hey all, I am new to this forum. My husband told me 3 weeks before christmas that he doesnt love me any more and has found someone else. I have a 4 year old son.

I need to know what to do next?

I have arranged a free consultation with a solicitor.

If he says he is going to pay me a private maintenance payment, will this affect my future rights to benefits if he subsequently withdraws the payment amount?

I currently work part time as it was agreed i would be the main carer for our child. Matters made worse because my son may be autistic or have aspergers and we are soon due to see the paediatrician.

Any advice is gratefully received.

(bit gloomy!)

Hi,

I can't offer any help on the finance side of things but am sorry that you are having to go through these problems

I am also currently going through the process of getting my son assessed for aspergers/autism as since he started school it has become more and more apparent that he handles things differently than other children. We saw a paediatrician last week who told me that my son displays signs of ADHD and ASD. It is so much harder to care for a child with ADHD/ASD - it takes on average 4 hrs per night to settle my son to sleep and he needs 1 on 1 support all the time.

Do check out local support groups for advice and also your local education authority will have details of a parent partnership service which can offer extra help and advice.

Sarah

jaksmc

Thanks for your post dizzyblonde, my son hasnt started school yet, he is due to start this sept. His nursery say he leans more towards aspergers because of his social skills but he also has severe communication delay and speech and language difficulties brought on by hearing problems. He had glue ear from 9 months til 2 1/2 years old when grommets were fitted but his understanding has taken a very long time to catch up.

As you say, it is the frustration they feel that leads to anger and poor behaviour. I cant believe my husband is walking out on us now when we need him more than ever!!

RAS

Hi

makew sure

1. That you do not have any joint bank accounts or savings accounts that he can clear out, or joint card accounts.
2. Get your own bank account urgently and get the CB paid in there.
3. You will need some money to tide you over until your benefit support (WTC, CTC etc) get paid. Make sure that is in your sole account.
4. Apply for WTC, CTC, council tax rebate, housing etc ASAP.
5. Work out what the CSA payment will be (15 percent of his income) and ask for that as the minimum. If it is missing two month's running apply to the CSA and make sure that he knows that will happen.

princeofpounds

Do you/did you own a home?

jollyme

In addition to RAS' comments above: review all regular payments you make, are they in respect of his agreements as opposed to your own? If you have a mortgage - in joint names - then talk to your lender , particularly if you will not be able to meet payments yourself, he may stop any payments he makes.
If you have a tenancy agreement - then whose name(s) it in? The name on the agreement will indicate who has responsibility for payments and who has the right to remain.
Solicitor's can charge lots of money - some offer a free 20mins appointment - you should request this when making the appointment, Record any payments you make or receive - cash payments are hard to evidence.