Sever weather and childcare arrangements.

kittiej

liney when did I say I'd used eto for dependants on a number of occasions?

This was an instance (ie 1) which came about during the recent bad weather, I was not the only one who had to stay at home with their children. I always use holidays if I know I need to be off.

Why do people always read more into a situation when the words don't say this? Human nature I expect.

OK can we forget about my DH earning more since his wage doesn't come into this 'household', the amount he gives me a week comes into the house - no more, no less.

I feel that i am being de-valued because I'm in an admin role. If DH worked for a different company then this would not happen and I would be able to go to work. Why should it be down to me to have to stay at home?

On this day DH was in his department's office, he wasn't actually driving that day which annoys me even more tbh.

liney

kittiej wrote: »

Hello all

Basically my DH and myself work for the same company now whenever there's severe weather and the school is closed my employer always insists that I must stay at home with the children and my DH must be the one to go into work, (we have different roles in the company, he is retail focused and I am office/admin based).

But it has happened only once?

I am reading what you wrote.

If what you are actually saying, is my employer will not allow my DH who is in a senior role to take holidays at short notice, but they will allow me as by job is less responsible, then yes that is allowed.

Hammyman

kittiej wrote: »

Hello all

I have been a bit hacked off with this weather lately (haven't we all!) but it has left me with an employment question.

Basically my DH and myself work for the same company now whenever there's severe weather and the school is closed my employer always insists that I must stay at home with the children and my DH must be the one to go into work, (we have different roles in the company, he is retail focused and I am office/admin based).

I am always the one to lose pay and it annoys me.

Is there anything I can do about this? Or should I just accept it since my DH's job is more important to the running of the company?

I'm sorry, you're a couple aren't you? As a household you'd still lose the same amount of money if you're on pay. However you're back office and he's the one that does the job which brings the money into the business so quite rightly he is asked to stay.

Sambucus_Nigra

How does your husband feel about these arrangements?

KiKi

Hi OP

I agree that if you were working for different companies it would be for the two of you to decide and make that decision between you.

Unfortunately you work together, with the same senior manager who approves the leave - and therefore work know your family business. If it's for the kids (for whatever reason), then the Senior Manager knows this, and is likely to ask the person most critical to the business to be at work. I don't think it's anything to do with 'The Wife' stays at home, though, or seniority - it's about the needs of the business.

It might not seem fair, but unfortunately that's often what happens when couples work together. Managers can choose to approve leave or not, and legally tell you when - or not - to take it. If your husband calls work and says he needs a day for the kids, the senior manager has the right to refuse your husband leave. Therefore you are forced to stay at home. Of course, if the senior manager wasn't aware that it was okay for you to stay at home (ie, if you worked for a different company) it might be different, but this is the consequence of working together, I'm afraid.

Sorry that's not what you want to hear.
KiKi

RedSoleShoes

Your annoyance seems more to do with the fact that your employer views your partner to be more important in the workplace than you, right?

If you are asking whether they can 'legally' make this demand then no, they can't - unless there is something written in your contract (which I doubt) but, is it something you should make a big deal of? No, I don't think you should.

Do you come across other issues from working in the same place as your partner (such as not being allowed holidays together etc)? If not, and this is the only issue you have had, I think you need to just let this go over your head and get on with things.

mountainofdebt

Of course the emplloyer could be a right sexist pig and be merely concerned about a woman driving in the bad weather

kittiej

Hi OP

I agree that if you were working for different companies it would be for the two of you to decide and make that decision between you.

Unfortunately you work together, with the same senior manager who approves the leave - and therefore work know your family business. If it's for the kids (for whatever reason), then the Senior Manager knows this, and is likely to ask the person most critical to the business to be at work. I don't think it's anything to do with 'The Wife' stays at home, though, or seniority - it's about the needs of the business.

It might not seem fair, but unfortunately that's often what happens when couples work together. Managers can choose to approve leave or not, and legally tell you when - or not - to take it. If your husband calls work and says he needs a day for the kids, the senior manager has the right to refuse your husband leave. Therefore you are forced to stay at home. Of course, if the senior manager wasn't aware that it was okay for you to stay at home (ie, if you worked for a different company) it might be different, but this is the consequence of working together, I'm afraid.

Sorry that's not what you want to hear.
KiKi

Thanks KiKi, if only my employer had put it this way!

Communication isn't a strong point tbh.

Of course the emplloyer could be a right sexist pig and be merely concerned about a woman driving in the bad weather

MOD - He'd be right

Lilystar

Kittie,
I had a similar situation when I worked in the same company as my DH, but in that case, I had a meeting with the MD shortly before I went on mat leave, and was told that while we were both valuable employees, DH was quite a bit more crucial to day to day operations, so in the event of childcare/sickness issues, could we agree in advance that I would be the one to take time off, and in return, this would never be used against me by any department managers etc.

I found it to be very useful tbh, as DH did earn a lot more than me, but it also meant that there was never any argument, or sarky comments from line managers, as my terms of employment were set by the MD and the line managers were told to deal. It was also obvious to most people that while my job was important, there was a whole department doing the same work, whereas DH was part of a much smaller group.

I also know that we were not the only couple to have such an arrangement, as there was a strong history of related employees, and in at least one case, it was the woman deemed to be more important, so I suppose it depends on the way the company communicate with you.

MrsTinks

Really I think there are 2 problems - how your company deals with you needing time off, and your financial relationship with your husband/childrens father?
If he isn't willing to stand up to your employer about taking his turn then he needs to add more to the coffers when you have to have unpaid leave or understand that it's YOUR holiday entitlement that is being used...
In our house we have seperate finances - merely because it's easier! But neither of us lets the other go short - we share the burden of the bills and of having a family. I usually take leave if our daughter is poorly - bad weather has never been an issue for us, the childminder is happy to have her come rain or shine and we can both work from home if it's needed. However my husband earns twice what I do so if later I need to take unpaid leave it definitely makes sense for it to be me doing it and not him. But then I know if as a result I was short he'd happily part with money to make sure I was ok - after all it's his child I'm looking after too!