Role Reversal

EllieA_3

I've always been the main cook in our house having set up a deal 12 years ago with the OH that had him doing the washing up and me doing the cooking.

However a change in circumstances has flipping our world on it's head and he's going to become a house husband while i take on a new and much more demanding job wih V.Long hours.

As such it seem's sensible to have him do all the housework and cooking, which he has agreed too.

Currently i have the food/food spending on a tight reign and with a significant drop in overall income we need to keep this tight reign in place. I plan my food a month in advance and only buy what i need.

Unfortunatly my husband isn't a food planner or a cook and he wouldn't know where to start how to budget cheaply for food or buy it. We having a running joke in our house that if dad needs to cook then we go to the chippy, but to be honest it really isn't a joke he really hasn't cooked in 12 years and before that he lived with his mum who cooked his meals.

I don't want our food quality or budget to suffer, he's willing to try and can make a few decent meals so he's not a bad cook just inexperienced. He's also never cooked for our vegatarian DS and i know the prospect of making 2 meals really bothers him. I'm willing to help out and make the transition easier but as im likely to be out of the house for long hours i want to make him as independent as possible

Any idea's how to start him off?

Sublime_2

Buy a slow cooker. Easy to use, and meal plan with one.

I use mine loads.

My sisters husband is a house husband too, as she's the high earner, and it works well for them.

marleyboy

Since being made redundant n OH getting back into work, I look after our Son (1yr old) and ensure her meal is ready for when she gets home. I have no objections to this as when I was working, she would do likewise.

We did have a rule originally the washer upper is the one who didnt cook the meal, but since our change of circumstances, its only reasonable that I take it over. Fortunately, I learned to cook\clean at a young age, my Mothers blindness n health condition ensured I learnt to cook n clean at an early age.

Budgeting for food can be difficult, assuming he is cooking economy meals (Corn beef Ash, Stew, Casserole, etc), the cooking is generally easy, as a rule I always fry any mince, diced Beef, onions or mushrooms before mixing them into a casserole, hot pot or Cottage Pie. ensuring a minimum of 2 hours in the oven at gas mark 4. If he sticks to the basics, the rest will fall into place for him.

MOst packets or food products have a basic guideline printed on them, if he gets into bother over a meal. There are also and endless supply of recipe techniques plastered online for economy meals.

His only attention to detail should involve the cooking of meat or poultry, but the golden rule is the meat falls from the bone, or does not bleed when thoroughly cooked.

Izzy.

Teach him how you meal plan.

[Deleted User]

We are in the same boat as I am laid up with a very poorly leg at the moment. Normally I cook and he does the cleaning. However, he is having to do all the cooking and shopping at the moment

I am still planning the meals and then we write the shopping list together ( I can't get up to check the fridge or cupboards to see what needs to be eaten up so he is doing this whilst I write the list). I would start off the planning together and then slowly hand over this task over time. Don't forget to mention things such as use-by-dates etc, checking what needs to be eaten up before buying new, how to buy the best fruit and veg, buying seasonal and so on. One of the things we do is have an ongoing shopping list so if you are cooking and then use the last of something you immediately add the item to the shopping list for when we next go and that way we never run out.

I started off teaching my husband how to make an easy tomato sauce. We can then have pasta (lasagne, spaghetti etc), roast vegetables in tomato sauce with cous cous and so on. Then we went on to soups and things such as mashed potates, baked potates and roast spuds etc. Each week we added a few more recipes and he pulled a blinder and cooked a great christmas dinner and I even talked him through making some pizza dough last night.

Our food budget has blipped a bit, but we have agreed to talk though the shopping when he brings it home (without him feeling as though I am having a go). So for example he bought home a big selection box of biscuits. I only ever buy the individual packets as this is a lot cheaper. It will take a while to adjust as you have 12 years of experience so give him time to get into a routine. Maybe buying an easy cook book for him to get started on?

I think the key will be to both plan, cook and shop together to start off with (will be tiring for you with your new job) and then hand over things as he gets more confident.

Good luck.

P.S. I am saving up to treat hubby to something very nice in summer as a big thank you.

Rummer

Maybe you could give him a wee fact file with your last few months meal plans, shopping lists and recipes? Then he has something to start from. Also point him in the direction of key threads on this board.

Linda32

A similar thing happened in our house, and I just wrote down instructions for OH, it worked fine.

As you say he can make a few decent meals, just inexperienced, havn't we all been there, I'm sure with this start he will pick it up in no time as all

You can still write the lists and do the plans, maybe do it together for the first few weeks, that way he will get the general idea.

culpepper

How old is DS? It could work out well I think, if he is old enough to make his own meals while your Oh is making for everyone else,just to take the pressure off a bit.

EllieA_3

culpepper wrote: »

How old is DS? It could work out well I think, if he is old enough to make his own meals while your Oh is making for everyone else,just to take the pressure off a bit.

I have 2 kids 8 and 10 the veggy one is 8 so as much as i have started to teach him to cook he really isn't old enough to make his own meals.

valk_scot

Do the meal plans together for the first month or so, plus the shopping lists. Think of it as an apprenticeship. None of us is born knowing how to do this sort of thing, we either have to teach ourselves or learn from someone else. You say he's willing to learn and that's 90% of the battle tbh. Encourage him.

Also, if he doesn't know how to make a specific recipe, write it down for him in a notebook, together with a list of standard cooking times for different veg, pasta, rice etc.

After that, stand back and let him get on with things. It's inevitable that he'll make mistakes (by your standards) or end up doing things a different way but that's fine. It's his job now. Don't try to micromanage it. It will be hard for you to let go but needs must. He's probably not going to like letting go of some of his end of things either.

Also, send him here to us. We're nice, we'll help too!

adelight

Each weekend you could bulk cook a typical meal together, something you eat a lot, so he learns how to make your basics and there's stuff in the fridge/freezer ready made just in case.
Meal planning and shopping will be easier if he knows how to make the typical meals your family eat. Do you have a collection of your favourite recipes? Having a folder on the pc(or a notebook) with your go-to meals in it could help when he doesn't know what to cook.