New Year New Me, the journey continues.........

thrifty_fifty

Good Morning and welcome to my shiny new 2011 diary.

I'll pop the link in for the old one as soon as I can figure out how to do it. As you can see by the title, this year sees the final push for me becoming debt free (hoping to do it by September). I do hope you'll join me along the way. I'll be posting more here when the new year arrives, as I'm going away for a few days. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2246353

See you soon in 2011!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR. :j

thrifty_fifty

Ah a lovely crisp sunday morning. Feeling very motivated today. Have planned out the new diety food for the week, so just about to go off and get the ingredients, lots quinoa and fresh veg and fruit. If anyone has any nice recipes, I'd be glad to hear from you.

Have put some more entries into January's plan, including a lunchtime trip to a free local museum on wednesday, and a local walk with historic sites for sunday. I figure that if I have plans, then this keeps me motivated to do things, and also stops bad thoughts about lack of money, credit crunch doom etc from creeping in. Also decided that I'm going to stop watching the news in the morning with OH. It's all doom and gloom and this puts me in a negative frame of mind for the day. Call this burying my head in the sand, but if you don't change what you do, you don't change what you get, and this year is all about change.

Hope everyone has recovered from new year hangovers.

I'll swing by later.

Bye for now

xx

little_h_2

Hi thrifty, happy new year and happy new diary!

I think your plans sound great, i have been wondering about doing similar with sociable/fun stuff that's one of my aims for the year, more friends and fun :j (budget conscious of course!)

good luck with the final push of the debt busting! :beer:

thrifty_fifty

Thanks and welcome little h.

Today has been a productive and emotional one. I mentioned in my previous diary that I self sabotaged so that I wouldn't succeed, because I was afraid of succeeding and being good at something. I have had to really fight with myself today to order some of the craft items that I wanted in order to make the things that I have put on my list. In fact as I was paying for the items on ebay I was nearly in tears. This might sound a little OTT but to try and untangle deeply rooted aspects of your personality is and will continue to be quite a hard thing to do. But this is part of my self help therapy I have prescribed to myself.

As part of my task list, there was a job application that I needed to complete, I finally made myself get round to this after procrastinating all day. I don't really want the job, and it would be a step backward for me as it is a grade lower than I am currently on. However I thought that this would provide more security for me. The closing date is midnight tonight, and I was all set to apply for it, then as part of the application I had to state my current salary and that which I expected to receive, I realised that I would have to drop what I expected to receive by nearly 2k and that would put me at the top of the scale for the new job. As hard as it is to let this pass by, part of my therapy has taught me to value myself a bit more, and I want to go forward, not backwards. By changing that salary I was saying that I was willing to accept anything. Now obviously if the situation were critical with me likely to lose my job in the next month, then clearly I would have had to take it. However I could have my job for another 7-12 months, and in this time I need to bust my debts and need all the money I can to do this. Also with the studying that I'm doing, it looks as though I could get a grade above what I'm on now within the next three years. So I'm biting the bullet and letting it pass me by. I may live to regret it, but we can't predict the future, so I'll sit tight for the moment.

The final item on my task list for today is to do some research for my new OU course starting in May, and for potential further research, so must get off and do that so I can have my relaxing day that I promised myself for tomorrow, before going back to work on tuesday.

thrifty_fifty

Back again.

In response to the above I have created a list of things which I believe I am not good at, and things I need to do to have another try at these-so for example drawing and painting- I can buy a paper pad and some pencils and have a go. The end column asks if I had achieved this, and my guess is that there will be more yes's that nos.

I have also found a book on CBT therapy, and this looks good for sorting out why I self sabotage. Two of the big things that stand out are the fact that I have lost my self confidence because I don't often get out into the world and achieve the things I want to. A major part of this is not wanting to spend money when I don't have to, because I want to get out of debt. The other thing to do with the spending is that everytime I buy something for myself I think I am being wreckless as in the days when I was getting further and further in debt and dreading the consequences. So I guess there is a bit of panic disorder thing centered around that. A lot of this will go when these debts are paid off, and I'm on the straight and narrow again. I have got to accept though, that from time to time, I will need to spend a little cash on myself so that I can do crafts, which will in turn give me confidence and hopefully open up opportunities for me to run my own workshops or have a shop.

I'm dropping the research for this evening, as it is getting on a bit, and I can postpone this until tomorrow. I've been on here working on various things all day, so now I deserve a bath and to use that free sample face mask that I have been meaning to get around to.

Night night

xx

little_h_2

enjoy your bath!

the CBT book sounds very promising. I bought the Feeling Good Handbook (or similar title) earlier this year, it was very good indeed. Having had a pretty disastrous counselling experience a couple of years back, someone recommended CBT as an alternative and it works well for me. Good luck with it

be kind to yourself too, it's hard to find the right balance sometimes.

moo2moo

Can you borrow someone elses children for a few hours.... preferably get the willing victims parents to throw their house and toy stash into the bargain (its called babysitting) that way you'll have access to a huge array of drawing, painting and colouring materials as well as playdough and all manner of construction toys (can highly reccommend Magnetix as long as you're not the one doing the vacuuming for the subsequent few weeks). Not only will all your supplies be provided but you'll also have a very appreciative audience who are amazed that your creations are not round deformed blobs with an absence of arms. Finger painiting is fab. In fact I'd go as far as to say truly awesome, add a tiny bit of detail with a biro when the paint is dry and that blob becomes a sheep or a snowman or ........

If you fancy sketching you can cheat a tiny bit and buy sketcing by numbers kits which contain everything you need in order to shade your way to a fab finish. The DDs got an array of these from a garden centre for a whopping £1.25 for 6x4" pictures because it looked like being a bit of fun. The finished pictures are surprisingly good. Bigger versions are available too for about the same cost as a pack of pencils.

What crafts do you fancy trying because I have huge amounts of stuff ranging from Cross Stitch to beads for bracelet making or 3D bead weaving (which looked like sooo much fun but resulted in a rather deformed looking Nemo and a bit of a temper tantrum) and would gladly send you bits and pieces to try. I have an enormous pile of stuff that I've aquired over the years, the law of crafting says you only ever need a quarter of what you have to buy to get the end result you want.

thrifty_fifty

Thanks guys and Moo you have some fab ideas, and that's so kind of you to offer things to try, the kind heartedness of people on here never fails.

Was thinking of having a go at cross stitching wanted to make some reindeer type bauble things, and the 3d bracelet thing sounds cool too.

Just ordered a free (well, you have to pay postage) year planner with one of my photos on. It shows a lovely plant (don't ask me what it's called) that I took a photo of, whilst at River cottage a couple of years back. Can't wait for this to arrive . So back on the positives wahey.

moo2moo

Ooooh not even slightly jealous that you've been to River Cottage.... is Hugh F-W as irritatingly nauseatingly happy in reality?

thrifty_fifty

I'm afraid he is M, and he has skin like a baby's bottom. A thoroughly bloomin' nice chap.

Woke early this morning, despite taking some herbal sleepy remedy before bed. This happens every time on the evening before I go back to work, after taking holiday. Felt a bit panicky about that and still do a bit, but trying to keep it in check with my task lists and thoughts of craft making. It's clear what I want to do then-get out of the rat race and lead the simple life. The thought of going back to driving in rush hour traffic for an hour, and having to deal with pain in the bum personalities just fills me with dread. After saying that though, today will probably go down ok, and I'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

A bit skeptical about the whole ghost thing, but what happened this morning was weird. I thought OH was up early this morning as I heard one of the kitchen cupboard doors close, and then the bedroom door handle tried. We have those round brass onces that you turn, and they are a bit loose so they rattle as someone turns them. Eek. I admit I did pull the duvet round me a bit tighter and keep my eyes shut for a moment or two.

Today is the first day of the diet. Was busy last night making sushi for lunch, and am predictably starting the day with a rumbling tum, something I'll be experiencing quite a bit over the next few days, along with cravings for big greasy burgers with fake cheese and relish. Mmmmmm.

Anyway, all of this is rather negative so far. I must try and remember the positives, namely that this is the year I become debt free. I'm also giving up alchohol this year. Not that I drink it that much, but I would like to find other ways of dealing with a bad day, other than reaching for the vino. Maybe there's some kind of book out there to enlighten me.

thrifty_fifty

Just back to correct myself

Today is going to be a good day I'm going to return my library book at lunch, swap gift christmas necklaces for two tops and underwear that I could do with (see? sensible there), buy in weightwatchers crisps from the £ shop for the next three weeks-thus meaning I can leave my money at home, and not risk going into town and spending.

Holy carp, this is quite a challenge-no spending, no eating bad things and giving up alchohol. I'll report back later. I may be a Thrifty on the edge. No Thrifty, this is about the final cutting back on all fronts so that you can get a step closer to leading the simple life. Ok, and breathe. ahhhhh.....