What do you do when you don't agree how to budget?

hackedoffatthem

We are entering a new period in our DF plan. So we have decided to sit down in the week between christmas and the new year to plan our 2011/2012 budgets. Hopefully DFD is 31/12/12, if not sooner.

The thing is I already know from experience that my husband and I differ when deciding where the budget should be spread.

For example, the children having their weekly after school club is very important to me (and him but he always chokes at the cost so I know this would be something he'd rather get rid of.) He on the other hand won't take a packed lunch to work (he has reasons and I understand them) but I still hate the constant debit card/cash withdrawals he makes at work.

There are other areas in the budget which we differ greatly on.

How do you compromise? It isn't a stress on our relationship as we are on the same timeline in terms of paying off the debts and we don't disagree on the order of those but sticking points seem to be more about where we loosen the belt for luxuries.

JimmyTheWig

I agree it's tough.
Would it help if, for example, you offered to make his packed lunch as a compromise?

I'd say start with what you agree on, the absolute necessities.
Then see how much money is left for the things you don't agree on. I guess it's then just a case of choosing things off the list fairly between you.

JimmyTheWig

Also, if you do decide that he'll still buy his lunch, I suggest setting a budget for it.

partist

Ditch the plastic, set up separate accounts with your allocated monthly amounts in each.

hackedoffatthem

Thanks for your replies.

The packed lunch thing- I'm not sure I'm going to convince him. He's a police officer and so rarely makes it back to the station for a scheduled meal break so just grabs something where and when he can. Occasionally he'll take left overs to heat up at work which is good enough I suppose.

I've briefly spoke to him this afternoon and I think a compromise might be 'pocket money'. We'll have an allowance in cash each week and we can use it as we please. Mine will probably be spent on the house and kids but I don't mind!

I've done a basic budget which I'll get him to take a look over. Two heads are better than one. I would rather he agreed and stuck to it than co-ercred him into something he will never be able to.

We're pretty good as using our strengths between us. I'm truly rubbish at food shopping, spend way too much and get nothing to show for it whereas he is great. I'm better at keeping the spreadsheet up to date and forcasting how much debt we can over pay etc.

I set him a task of calling Sky to tell them we were cancelling unless they could reduce our monthly payment. We knew many peopke with the same package as us who pay far less. He came off the phone having been sold Sky plus, multi-room, and HD channels, for another £20 a month. He thinks he's got a bargain! And I just think :eek:

Never mind- I'll keep working on him!

JimmyTheWig

partist wrote: »

Ditch the plastic, set up separate accounts with your allocated monthly amounts in each.

But which pot does kids' after-school activities come from?

pickleiamin

The pocket money would be the best idea for him. Get him used to spending whats only there rather than blindingly using the plastic.

whiteguineapig

i was going to suggest , that if he must take money to work to buy lunch , then he has a set amount each week, see if you can agree on the amount between you

hackedoffatthem

I think that cash is definately the solution for him. He'll be fine with it as he prefers cash anyway but I hate the feeling of giving him pocket money as it feels a bit like mothering him. Still needs must!

whiteguineapig

tread on eggs, try and be tactful

ViolaLass

OH and I have a set amount we spend on food for the house per month. From this food, we are allowed to make packed lunches for work. Anything we buy from, say, Subway, for lunch comes out of our own 'pocket money'. This means that if OH wants to treat himself (and boy does he like Subway!) then he can and it has nothing to do with me provided he doesn't spend more than his allocated amount.

Trickier for you, though, as although OH doesn't like to be as careful with money as me, we do tend to agree, at least in theory, on what we should and shouldn't be spending our money on.

What are your OH's reasons for not wanting a packed lunch. Is it that he can't be bothered to make it or forgets? Or is it that he passes a place he really likes going to? Would it be worth adding up the yearly amount he spends and presenting it to him that way? Is it really an issue if he doesn't make it back to the station? Couldn't he carry sandwiches or whatever with him? Maybe he doesn't feel he has anything appetizing to take with him and need ideas?