Summer Solstice Sensation

lessonlearned

Hi Everyone

Not the best of days.

OH not too good, he's been off it for a while now. His swallowing etc has been getting worse and he has had a couple of very scary choking episodes today.

I've also noticed that over the last few days that he is finding it increasingly difficult to feed himself due to his lack of co-ordination. I now have to feed him to make sure that he get's adequate nutrition. He can only manage small snack size meals so this has to be done several times a day. Each meal takes a long time and it takes up such a chunk of my time.

I just don't know what to do. Is a nursing home the answer - I don't know any more. Don't feel all that strong tonight Mrs W.

I also think I've got a lurgy waiting in the wings - have a sore throat and feel shivery etc.

The final straw tonight was that one of my tooth crowns has just dropped out and I doubt very much that it can be fixed. That probably means yet another tooth lost. My teeth are the bane of my life and always have been.

I am so sorry to whinge on but I feel so low tonight. Oh well - off to bed with a dose of 'Night Nurse" and a hot water bottle. Hopefully things will seem a little less bleak after a good nights sleep.

Will have to ring the dentist first thing and see what she can do.

DS2 also having problems with his teeth - he has an abcess that won't go away. We'll be keeping each other company at the dentists tomorrow. What a pair.

DS1 has beautiful teeth, 27 and not even a filling. DS2 on the other hand has inherited my awful teeth. Poor lad.

So sorry for such an abysmal post.

Hope you've all had a lovely weekend.

G'night all x

maman

Hello LL

I can see your light is still on so just had to post and send you :grouphug: (I know they're a bit dodgy but very well meant). I'm so sorry to hear things aren't good for you and DH today. Like MrsW I admire you so much for coping even if you're not feeling like it today.

You did make me smile about you and the teeth, I'm imagining you and your DS at the dentist together. Hopefully you'll get an appointment tomorrow to get the crown fixed. My DD1 has a problem with her teeth, she's always there having crowns sorted or fillings or whatever. My teeth aren't brilliant but I think she has a problem with tooth grinding at night etc which doesn't help. Even though she's 42 she needed a wisdom tooth out last year and wanted her mum there to hold her hand. DH and I pay a family membership for Denplan because our dentist went private a couple of years ago. We could probably get NHS now but DD1 has such faith in this dentist that we pay up happily.

Fancy your family calling you Michelin Man, MrsW:eek: but it is so lovely being complimented on weightloss. We're all doing well thanks to LL giving us the motivation!!:A

lessonlearned

Thanks Maman - feeling a bit brighter now - must be the Night Nurse;)
although a couple of G&T's would have been even better:p.

We have a family Denplan too. Worth every penny - it would have cost DS2 and I thousands of pounds by now.

I once got a quote for implants in Spain - 10,000 Euros - would have been at least double that here in UK. That was only to fill in the gaps - not a whole mouthful. Really don't fancy the Eastern European option I'm afraid, although one of our friends did have a lot of work done in Poland and was very happy. However, his wife is Polish so she was able to interpret & supervise everything.

My denist assures me that it won't be so very long until stem cells allow us to grow our own replacement teeth. They've done it successfully with mice apparently. In the meantime the words "Toothless Old Hag" spring to mind.

Now I really am off to bed.

MrsWoolfe

Morning Ladies.

LL- I'm really sorry to hear you sounding so low and I hope you had a good night's rest:grouphug:.

I'm not surprised things are getting to you, if you OH is deteriorating like that. Have you talked to your DS's what do they think? I wonder whether there is any way for someone to come in a couple of times a day to help?

I know the idea of a home must be hard- but you need to try and look at it all when you are a bit calmer, are you able to give OH the kind of care he now needs?and how is it impacting on your health? there is no shame in being honest and admitting that it's too much if that is the case, has OH had a recent assessment? if not would it be a good idea to request one?

I don't really know too much about this sort of thing and I'm sure that you already know how to navigate all of this given the kind of juggling you have had to do in the past so sorry if all of that is really unhelpful.

Hope you manage to have a good day today- despite the dentist!

MrsWoolfe

lessonlearned

It's a new day, it's a new dawn

I just love Nina Simone and whilst I'm not actually "Feeling Good" I don't feel as bad as last night. It's surprising what a night's rest can do isn't it.

First the good news - OH seems a little better today - not brilliant but a little brighter. Carer has taken him off to Costco for a mooch and to pick up a few bits for me - I'm sure their fabulous coconut and cherry cake will find it's way into the trolley, along with his favourite choc croissants etc.

The second bit of good news is - dentist managed to re-attach my crown - so not quite such a toothless hag as I had feared. Will have to eat "easy" foods for a day or two to give it time to really set. (Maybe having to take extra care will help with the weight loss - if so then every cloud has a sliver lining;)

Still feeling rather grotty - that lurgy is still lurking so I've postponed my free massage and facial till next week when, hopefully, I will feel well enough to really enjoy it rather than just endure it.

Yes Mrs W we do have a care package in place now. It took a while but we got there in the end:p There was a lot of toing and froing and negotiating. It was incredibly stressful and poor OH was subjected to any number of assessments. To be fair Social Services, our GP practice and his various consultants have been wonderful and I really can't fault them. It's just that there was such a huge amount of red tape to wade through but we are sorted now.

I do feel sorry for people who are sick and who have no one to stand up for them though. It's such a jungle and I've often felt I was a bit like some ferocious lioness protecting her cubs. I bet they think "Oh no, its that woman again".:o

TBH I simply wouldn't be able to cope on my own - I would be a basket case by now. When OH is struggling - like yesterday - then the transfers etc are really a two person job.

I know deep down that at some point a nursing home will be our only option, especially as and when, some form of dementia kicks in. (There are already some early warning signs - a few early symptoms such as short term memory loss, confusion, and slight personality changes). Dementia care is highly specialised and I wouldn't be able to provide what he needs - in addition to the physical decline which is inevitable).

DS2 is extremely helpful but I do feel that he shouldn't be expected to carry too much of a burden. He and I had quite a heart to heart talk last night about where we go from here.

I will have a chat with my favourite GP and go over our options. I might ask for additional help to cope with the evening/getting OH into bed routine so that DS2 doesn't feel so guilty when he wants to go out. I can manage on my own but DS2 is very loath to let me do it by myself.

DS2 and I both agreed that it would be lovely if OH could spend perhaps just one more Christmas with us and then we'll take it from there.

Ah well, going to have a relatively quiet day, a bit of posh tidying:rotfl: and a bit of domestic goddess stuff - going to make OH's favourite rhubarb crumble. Everyone knows how much he loves rhubarb and we've been inundated with the stuff - can't stand it myself.

A little bird told me that the weather is going to pick up soon and that we are due a mini heatwave over the next couple of weeks.

Bring it on.

Carmen

Hi everyone,

LL, sorry you are all having a bad time at the moment:( Did your care plan include O/H having a few days/week in a care facility? I know it would be difficult but these respite packages can really help. Sending you all hugs.
Nice to hear your jewellery is still selling:) Chin up
I finally started to look after my teeth properly after most of the damaged had been done in my youth, I hate going to the dentist:eek:

Maman, you're right, white,black and nude has it covered (no pun intended) but I find the the nice lacy one just don't have the same support I still have a few decent bra's which I will wear until I lose more weight then buy new:)
This week I lost another lb but....I have had the munchies today! However I still feel positive thanks to the encouragement I get here from LL and Maman, thank you both for keeping me going over the last 159 days. Even though I feel bloated today I know tomorrow I will be back on track:)
Beauty treatment was eyebrow tidy, and constant cleaning of nails because I am trying to help in the garden:A

It is a beautiful evening, I am watching the sun set and listening to the birds evening song, the fragrance from the jasmin is wafting through the open windows.

Right, I am going for a long shower and then an early night with my book.

Goodnight all, take care

Carmen xx

lessonlearned

Hello Everyone

Well the good news is after a pretty grim day yesterday I'm feeling almost human today.:o

Last night DS2 came to the rescue - calling at the chippy after work for a fish supper for us because I just couldn't summon up the wherewithal to even cook a meal, putting OH to bed etc. Needless to say there was no exercise or beauty treatments - does just about managing to brush your teeth count.:D

Today I have a bit more energy - at least so far - but I will pace myself. The cleaner starts on Thursday so I have been tidying up and sorting out some clutter so that she can at least get round and do some proper cleaning.

I have to confess that I have cleaned the oven and had a quick blitz of the kitchen floor to clean up the worst - partly because I would be too ashamed to let anyone see the state they were in but also because I think it's best to set some standards and raise the bar a little. I don't want her to think that I'm an absolute slattern and she can be just as slapdash. I am actually quite houseproud although you wouldn't know it just lately.

Anyway off to have a shower and wash my hair - it looks dreadful. I've been running a bit of a temperature and it's now just a mass of greasy rat-tails. Going to the hairdressers on Friday for a revamp.:j

Thank you so much for all your kind words and support this last couple of days. I know that you say that I inspire you and keep you motivated but honestly it works both ways. You all keep me going too. Just knowing that you are here, reading my musings and that you are rooting for me really helps.

My family are wonderful buy my parents are elderly and cannot offer any real practical help, my sister is fantastic but obviously has her own very busy life, sons are great but not quite the same as daughters I think and although friends and neighbours are all extremely helpful you cannot lean on them too much.

So ......coming on here and venting to my new virtual friends is very good for me - who knows one day we might even get the chance to meet up in real life. Maybe a girlie thing like afternoon tea at the Ritz or something to celebrate our new Fabness when we get there.

I've not had tea at the Ritz but have managed the Dorchester for my SIL's 50th birthday - it was wonderful. I've also had lunch at the Savoy so the Ritz would make a nice hat-trick.

Hoping to have a little potter in the garden later, although it's looking rather grey and murky out there.

Have a good day everyone and once again thanks for all your good wishes and support. Keep those good vibes coming.;)

maman

So glad to hear you're feeling a bit perkier LL, hope the shower and hairwash did the trick.

I did laugh at the idea of cleaning up for the cleaner. ALL my friends do this!:rotfl:I understand your sentiments though. DH always ensures the car is really clean and tidy when it goes in for a service for exactly the same reason.

Very chilly here, certainly not gardening weather. Good news is my salad leaves are starting to peek through. Exciting!

I think your idea of tea at the Ritz is excellent. :j Like you, I've been to the Dorchester but it was many years ago. I had a (then) boyfriend who was training to be a chef there and he took me to dinner. We also had a pre-dinner drink in the Hilton further down Park Lane. This was back in the day when Hilton meant something. At the moment I'd settle for your fish and chip supper!:rotfl:I haven't had one for months and it sounds fab!

I've not done anything amazing on the fab front, certainly been very lazy on the exercise except for dancing. It's great how much lighter I am on my feet now (both literally and metaphorically:D). I suppose doing SW is my main thing as that motivates me to eat healthily, buy/enjoy my clothes, make a bit more effort with make-up and generally feel good about myself. Thanks LL:A

:wave: to all ladies and lurkers! I've got a meeting later so must go and achieve something before then.

MrsWoolfe

Hello Ladies!

LL Glad to "hear" you sounding a bit better! I think that the support/advice/general "spirit" of being on these boards does the world of good- and really does help to get you through the bumps. I know that that if I'm having a bad day and need to get it out- there'll be someone here who will offer wise advice- or if I'm doing good and achieved something fab/OS/MSE there'll be someone to cheer me on- I have a fantastic network or RL friends and family but sometimes you can't burden them and still need support and here's the place to get it!

Meeting up somewhere swish sounds like a lovely idea! I like the idea of us all celebrating once we hit our Fab targets!

Maman- Dancing is most definitely exercising- I was chatting to one of my best friends the other day and we were being nostalgic about uni days and having a moan about weight etc- and we figured out that the reason we were so fit during uni was the dancing and walking- We did no specific exercise at all and ate pretty badly at points (was not unknown for us to go through a tub of hagen-das each!:eek:) but were slim and fit BUT we walked everywhere all the time- prob about 2hrs walking a day or more, and we went out dancing at least 5 nights a week and were fairly hardcore, no flirting at the bar for us! We go out around nine, be dancing by ten and carry on through until 2-3am and walk there and back- and this was mainly rock/alternative stuff so pretty energetic lol!:rotfl: I find it funny that I never considered that I did any exercise at all when I was!

Carmen- Your description of your evening is making me jealous! I was rushing about trying to sort things for the weekend and when I get back and didn’t notice when the sun went down and it got dark! I wouldn’t feel bad about the munchies just carry on doing the good things you’ve obv been doing so far- I’m sure the good will outweigh the bad and that’s what counts!

Had a half productive day- called up my insurance and checked if I’m still good to travel give all the recent medical stuff- thankfully they said it was all fine and wouldn’t affect my policy- good as it’s the one that comes free with my current account- phew!

Managed to get an appt for tomorrow with my GP so I can get extra doses for all my meds and a letter to travel with so I don’t have any issues at customs.:A

Sent out invites for our joint birthday/belated housewarming which will be 2wks after we get back and managed to sort out someone to water my plants while we’re away!:j

Need to do some serious beauty prep so I’m feeling good when we go too- did a “de-fuzz” last night will try and do a facial tonight....

And all whilst trying to avoid getting sucked into the increasingly manic/tense/argumentative atmosphere in my dept today....happy happy joy joy!...in my evil moments I imagine forcing them to watch the Happy Happy Joy Joy song from Ren&Stimpy over and over and over and over mwa ha ha!(evil laugh)

Hope all the Ladies and Lurkers are doing good!

MrsWoolfe

lessonlearned

Part Deux

Didn't get round to the gardening - had a nice long afternoon nap instead:p

Turning my dining room into a mini gym has been rather a good idea.

OH hasn't managed much but I find I can nip in and out when I have a spare minute. Tonight I managed to squeeze in some exercise whilst cooking dinner and cleaning up the kitchen. Yep, we women sure know how to multi-task.;)

Anyway 2kms bike, multi-gym, 60 tummy crunches
Todays treatment - face massage with rose oil

Off to bed now, G'night all x