My Lightbulb moment(s)

anniecave

childcare £160.00 one child (DD) after school care 4 days

any way around this? neighbours who can help? other people you know? can either you or your OH do flexitime?

What's your credit history like, any chance of any credit card balance transfer deals less than the 15% ? Concentrate on paying this off first anyway.

Do you make sure you always pay at least the minimums on those credit cards? Otherwise your credit score will be really hit.

Is that council tax figure really per month?

evie451

Im sorry I couldnt stay up to reply to these but I was completely cream crackered last night.
Anyway thanks to everyone who is trying to help me. :T

Sorry this is in no particular order

The Sky sub does annoy me I spoke to OH who said he would pay for it from now on! I think the business is doing better than he is letting on but back to that later.

I do seem to have a lot of insurance. My fear is a big bill which i have to pay out for and end up using Credit cards to cover something this has happened before and is one of the reasons for my debt. Does anyone else have thoughts on the insurance question?

I do have this employment insurance which I took out last year. I was a local govt officer for 15years with all that job security and I left to go into private practice which pays better but is not as secure. I took this out when OH packed in his job so if i lost mine we would at least cover the mortgage! :eek: but I don't know if this is is worth it really as my employer seems to take great lengths to hang on to people.....

With my new job I got a car because I am not office based much of the time. This has been great so far as servicing insurance and road tax are paid by the company but I have no idea of the tax implications yet should I ring the revenue? The will have had my P11 d since april but haven't adjusted my code yet. I was told the car is worth £4000 or £5000 of taxable income and I am afraid of a big bill. OH got my old car as he had to hand his company car back when he left his old employer. He does upwards of 50,000 miles a year so two cars are very necessary! I am hoping he can go to a company car soon though.

Childcare this has come down from £260 a month as OH now takes DD to school. I will look into the idea of neighbours etc. it is quite a major cost for us.

I will look for ways to cut down the food bill further. I used to be much higher than this. If you have read Mrs Sparkles diary on the subject of going into M & S and spending £18 on a meal that is very familiar.....

However I am now an Aldi devotee and I just need a bit of recipe help so I can cook even more from scratch. What do you think is a good figure for a family of 4 plus cat?

to go back to OH we have been together for 19 years and have never been able to talk about money. He has some very odd attitudes to the stuff which I have learnt to cope with over the years.

1) He is entitled to whatever he likes because he works hard.
2)you don't save up for anything you use credit cards. This one is really weird as neither his late father nor his mother have a card their only debt being a very small mortgage. MIL considers 'buying' to be the eigth deadly sin and used to give her children school clothes as christmas presents.
3)money problems are my fault his own £9000 credit card bill included.
4)Major purchases such as a nice shiny red motorbike which he uses once a month if your lucky and a trip to New York for his fortieth are yes you guessed it because he is entitled!
5)Long term stuff is pointless to plan for because he will be dead...apparently. This one is a bit more understandable as his father died at 55 three days after he retired. So at the moment he has no pension plan.

Sorry ranting again but this is one of my major frustrations. I am trying to gently win him round with the moneysaving but I am up against it. If he doesn't like the food he walks in with a take away, I sent him to Asda with a list yesterday he came back with a two DVDs and a number of other 'extras' adding up to a shop of £79 :eek:

He has his own current account which seems to be doing pretty well with no direct debits coming out but I can't question him on it too much as he will go mental because obviously he is 'entitled'! MIL is complicit in this and has been for years they have a joint savings accout which I am supposed to know nothing about where he puts bonuses and now dividends. He seems to like having this cushion even though I would rather have the cards paid off. I have tried to work round this for years but if anyone has any suggestions feel free:rolleyes:

A_Nice_Englishman

If my sums are correct your monthly expenditure is about £2300. Your income is about £1650 so if we assume your OH is making £1000 you seem to be in a fairly healthy position and should be able to afford your lifestyle as well as pay off your debts quite quickly.

The problem seems to be that your OH is reluctant to pay his share. Or perhaps his business isn't doing very well, he isn't making enough to pay his share and he can't / won't tell you. In other words it's a relationship problem you really have, not a financial one.

Although I'm good with money, I don't claim to be expert at relationships so I will leave it to others to advise on that.

The only thing I would suggest is a joint account into which you both pay, say £1300 a month. Use what's left over at the end of the month to pay off some of the debts. Any money he earns over and above the £1300 is his to spend and the same for you.

You would have to be careful he doesn't dip into the joint account for inappropriate things which might mean hiding the cheque book and debit card and giving him cash to go shopping, pay the childmonder etc.

Red_Fraggle_3

My ex had his "own" buisness and bank account - until he couldn't pay thenI became part of his buiness unlucky me - he was always entilted to things as he worked hard and was under a lot of stress and thats how he helped -

Good luck with it - all small things help

evie451

Thanks Nice englishman
I have been thinking about this a lot does my relationship problem cause the money problem or the other way round? using the dreaded Money word around him is a recipe for disaster I told him I had been doing the budget (using Martins planner) he said have you and went to bed! at 9pm I had to ask him where his contribution had gone last month as it hadn't appeared by the 12th he put the phone down on me. When I said we can't discuss money I really meant it literally :rolleyes:

I have resolved to ask him for an increase to the £1300 particularly as I have no christmas savings this year so fingers crossed.

A_Nice_Englishman

I'm glad you found my comments useful evie451.

As I said, I don't claim to be any good at relationship counselling so I'll leave that to others. Good luck in getting him to pay his share though!

evie451

Hi Red fraggle
I am so glad I am not alone knowing a bloke with such money attitudes.:beer:

itsarichmansworld

Get rid of the sky ins if it breaks call them they will "try" charge you £65 to send an engineer threaten to cancel hey presto they come out fix it free of charge!
Plus call back up after the 3 months they'll keep it at half price! trust me I done it!

Good luck x

evie451

Is that right RMW. My Sky has needed fixed loads of times (house is a bit exposed high on the scottish hills) but if they fix it for nowt anyway....I always had a nagging feeling this might be the case. I am going to cancel today thanks RMW.;)

atypicalblonde

hey I am not very clued up on the advice so will leave that to the experts but just wanted to wish you the best of luck - xx